#pun hell

I mean, it’s pretty crystal queer what I’m about to say, I could never get it bi y’all. You’re practically omni-potent, and it makes me feel gay thinking about it. Even if we were trans-Atlantic you could figure it out. Let’s hope this pans out well, and you don’t have an ace up your sleeve. I mean, thinking about this going wrong brings an aro to my heart. Just thinking about it makes me want to hide in the closet.

*emerges from the depths of pun hell, clothing torn and burnt in places, face and hair covered in soot*