#pull-out method

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Is there a possibility that your condom will break during sex? Yes. Yes yes yes. There is always a possibility. The biggest culprit of broken condoms is friction, and there are a lot of things that could cause friction during sex. 

How to avoid it? If the girl is not sufficiently turned on, and her vagina is not at least reasonably wet, it also means it’s not lubricated. This will cause chafing for both of you (not fun), but also cause chafing on the latex of the condom. It can only handle so much abuse! Do some foreplay before you get busy during sex, and make sure you both are sufficiently aroused before diving straight into the big deal. 

OR you can use lube! Lubricants can make everything sleek and slimy down there, perfect for good feeling sexytime. It can help if one person isn’t too wet for some reason, and it can make everything feel better in general. 

However, lube is the second biggest culprit, because not all lubes are created equal. Only water-based or silicon-based lubes work with latex condoms. When buying lube, read the package and make 100% sure it works with latex condoms. If you’re not sure, ask someone. What you really want to avoid is oil based lubes. The oil in these break down the latex material - not good. Also, if you’re not using the standard latex condom, double check what lubes are appropriate for that style of condom to make absolutely sure any lube you may or may not use will damage the condom. 

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The heart of the question: if he pulls out, does it help? YES. 

Does it remove the risk? NO. Absolutely not. 

The idea here is pretty simple: sperm makes babies. Sperm is in the ejaculate/cum that the boy makes when he orgasms. If ejaculate is in vagina, higher chance of baby. So logically, making sure none of that cum ends up in the vagina means less chance of baby, right? 

Yes! And don’t listen to what people tell you otherwise: the pullout method DOES work. But hold on, I see you unzipping your pants already, and we’re not done here. The pullout method DOES work, but IT IS NOT BIRTH CONTROL. At least not good birth control. 

If I told you that I had a gun to your head, you would naturally want to move out of the way of the bullet, correct? Does that guarantee I won’t still shoot you? No. But if you do jump out of the way, it definitely increases your chances of survival. 

Cum in the vagina is bad news. But if the guy pulls out before he cums, that’s better news than bad news. It means less sperm to make a baby. Less, but not “none.” All men generate precum as a lubricant from their penis to help those little spermies and all that cum to get out in the first place. This precum is often transluscent, the man has no idea when it’s leaving his penis, cannot control it, AND you’ll have no idea during a heated moment like sex. Furthermore, precum has a high chance of carrying live sperm in it. That means at any point, even before the guy has cum, sperm could be in the woman’s body. It’s not worth the risk to go in without protection. 

This is further complicated by condom breaking. The reality is, most people don’t know when the condom has broken. If it’s a really bad tear, maybe they’re feel it, assuming they aren’t having lots of fun with all the other feelings that happen during sex. This also assumes that the break will always be bad. Even the tiniest rip in the condom can be enough to let sperm into the vagina. Sure, he can pull out if he feels the condom break, but by that point it’s probably already too late. 

Even worse is trusting the pullout method. Yes, it works well, but only when practiced right. And let’s be real, most peoples screw up. It takes a lot of training and maturity to understand your body enough to pull out on time. One rush of feeling, or one mistimed action, or just getting too caught up in the moment, or an accident, and boom, cum in the vag because he didn’t pull out early. It’s a good back up plan for a guy to cum outside of the vagina, but you definitely should rely on it.

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Focus on finding the right condom and having normal, aroused sex. Always check the condom for rippage before you use it, always roll it out properly, always follow the directions and leave room at the tip for cum to go to, and never reuse condoms. Safe sex means following the safest manner. And google is a thing.

If you want quick, immediate, and useful advice all about condoms, I have a few suggestions. I recommend Sexplanations’ video on condoms. It literally tells you all there is to know, including how to open the package, how to put it on the penis, how to find a properly sized condom for the dude no matter how big he is, alternatives to normal condoms, and an active demonstration of what happens when you put oil lubes on latex condoms (spoiler alert: POP).

There’s also Laci Green’s video on different types of condoms, which can help you pick the right type, and is a wealth of information. There’s also her video on the necessity of wearing a condom, mostly with a slant toward sexual health and avoiding disease. 

While it may work for some people some of the time, there’s no guarantee it will work for you. In fact, it probably won't.

What is the Pull-Out Method?

For the uninitiated, the pull-out method (also known as the withdrawal method or the rhythm method) seems pretty simple: instead of wearing a condom or using another type of birth control, the penis is extracted before ejaculation. While this seems like the perfect solution to condom discomfort and sexual dysfunction due to hormonal birth control, the fact is, it’s difficult to rely on.

When we talk about birth control statistics, we often cite the differences between perfect use and typical use. Perfect use means that every single use was done exactly as it should be to prevent pregnancy and/or STDs. An example of this would be someone who takes their birth control pills at the same exact time every single day, or someone who measures themselves and only uses the correctly-sized condom with the correct type and amount of lubricant (like one of our favorites, WET Naturals Silky Supreme.)

Typical use refers to someone who may normally have a preferred brand of condoms that fits, but will use whatever they can find if they're in a pinch, or they may take their hormonal birth control every day but not always the same time, or they may miss a day here or there.

When we talk about the pull-out method, the definitions for typical vs. perfect use are a lot more varied. Perfect typically indicates a couple who not only pull out before ejaculation every single time, but track the female partner's cycles using a basal thermometer and tracking. The majority of people who use the pull-out method, studies have shown, are in the typical category-- and because of this, they are far more likely to get pregnant.

In fact, 21% of women who rely on the pull-out method, typical or perfect use, experience an unwanted pregnancy-- which is nearly double the rate at all other forms of birth control, including condoms.

Why The Pull-Out Method Doesn't Work:

There are multiple reasons why the pull-out method doesn’t work. The first is that is requires a lot of control. Guys who suffer from premature-ejaculation or are sexually-inexperienced are bad candidates for the withdrawal method because they may not be able to stop themselves from ejaculating.

The second is that for some people, it simply never works. A third of men consistently have sperm in their pre-cum as well as their ejaculate. They may not get their partners pregnant with this pre-cum every single time, but all it takes is one sperm on one unlucky day of a woman's cycle. Unless you're certain about your own pre-cum, you could inevitably be taking a very big risk.

A third problem revolves around a woman’s natural cycle. Unless you’re taking birth control, it’s hard to assume that your cycle is regular. Even if you think that your period is here, it could just be some random spotting. There are scientific ways to track your fertility using a basal thermometer that rely on sheer accuracy and vigilance. We aren't talking like, "Oh yeah, my cycle is usually about 27 days," vigilance. We're talking like, "My cervix is dilated this big and my vaginal mucous is watery but a little white and my internal temperature is approximately..." vigilance. Many women find this too taxing to deal with every day, but it's not something you can half-ass if you want to do it right.

But the most glaring problem with the withdrawal method? STDs. Even if it was 100% effective at preventing pregnancy, even if you or your partner are sterile, there’s no guarantee that one of you doesn’t have STDs. In fact, many STDs are asymptomatic, so unless you were just tested (and sometimes not even then as some take a while to show up), you could potentially be taking a big risk with your or your partner's health.

The best way to prevent STDs? Barrier methods, like condoms or diaphragms.

If you’re with a long-term and supportive partner, if STDs aren’t a concern, and if you’re at a place in your life (emotionally, financially, and physically) where you could handle a pregnancy if it happens, then the pull-out method might be a good alternative. Otherwise, you may want to consider a different option.

Pull-Out Method Safety Tips:

If you are going to use the pull-out method, here are some safety tips.

Track your fertile days. Apps like Kindara can help you keep track of your period, although keep in mind that there is always the chance that it isn’t accurate. For more accurate results, a basal thermometer is a great idea.

Keep condoms or another barrier method on hand for those times when it's during your most fertile period and you still need to get some.

Keep emergency contraception on hand for accidents. They do happen.

Communicate. If there’s a chance that your cycle is off, or that you could have an STD/STI, let your partner known. Getting tested every few months also never hurts.

Practice, practice, practice! Before you make the commitment to withdrawal, practice withdrawing with a condom on to make sure you or your partner are up to the challenge. A great time to do this is when you’re waiting for your STD tests to come back!

There is one time when the pull-out method can be a boon, however. If you decide to pair it with another form of contraception, like a condom or hormonal birth control, you can nearly nullify your chances of unwanted pregnancy.

Remember, the pull-out method is not perfect, nor is it even preferable. But if it’s the only option you’ve got, it’s better than nothing, so use it with discretion and care.

[Sources: Slate, Reuters]