#pseudophilosophy

When they say simpleton sensei, “What’s it all, four?” I’m forced to resay there is no whole, define it! [not even hole] –

But no. There’s none of that either. Go, find me a nothing. We/she/he/they/it do teem, and that is all they do, [giving the illusion you can count.] Go Teem! Bios and quarks and Muster Mark all megamultiply to the point of no point and minds keep frantically trying to split the diff, to keep from giving in to the impression of one big flux without division points -----

Let’s try again, to no gain - the one thing with no sense to it is no thing. There can’t be that thing! And thereby hangs the number line, from a white oak tree, ‘cause it can’t bend like a live thing [can’t operate at all] without zero, the nude thing.

So wrap that no-end line around your neck and step off, Eph, do the dance with no floor; this as far as eyes know is what it’s all four (the number before “many”), and after you’ve gone there’s finally the one real hole.

An actual genius says her friend said that an astronaut said when you step back in from space for a minim of time the suit smells of no thing.  What did it smell like, his _____ said. He thought: “like banging two rocks together”

Whatever it is, that’s what possessed us in the form of brain control waves from TMA-1. Its instructions, simplified, were to put the illusory separates back together again; which you know if successful, even on the tiniest scale, makes one godalmighty big hole.

I had been a mommy’s boy, a teachers' pet all my school life until university. I studied Engineering and did not like it but I finished it anyway. After graduating, I did not work a typical tech job but instead volunteered and worked for charities and non-profit organisations for humanitarian and environmental causes. The jobs were somewhat meaningful, but they were not intellectually fulfilling to me. They were simple, and most of the time monotonous. Few years ago, I decided to try the corporate world. It was stressful, and not particularly intellectually stimulating. They just give me the sense of busy all the time. And it is meaningless, to me.

A few things about me at this point: male, in my 30s, single, from a developing country in Asia. It has took me a long time to learn and see the world and to build my own set of personal values. I care about the environment and I do not think the current design of the society is the best, where money rules the world and (many) people are cruel to their peers. I do not feel settled when I think about disadvantaged people. It is just wrong for people to pursue excessive wealth while there are so many other people living in extreme poverty. It is a dissonance for me to live in this state of the society.

Since I started this corporate job (in another country), I have saved a sum of money with the intention of going back home, buying a land, and growing my own food. At the moment, I do not have enough saving to not have to work anymore so it means I still have to find a job to earn some money for my living. I am thinking part time jobs in an organic grocery, a book shop, or an art shop. I do not know if I can actually live like that given my experience with simple, monotonous jobs. I do not have any experience with growing food, it would take a while and trials and errors until I can get there. The most difficult part is I will likely have to do this alone. I do not have a partner, and I do not think it is easy to find a guy to go with me on this journey. And I would expect to have at least some friends to join me but most of my friends will not follow this path.

I still want to achieve something in the 'normal sense' - this is the part where I still want to integrate in the society and do something for it, and the disadvantaged people, and get some sort of ‘recognition’. And I can't deny that I still want to have more money than just enough for my simple life in the garden, so I could travel once in awhile. I want to see different parts of the world.