#pseudo shitpost

1.) Batesian mimicry. You look and sound exactly like a spaceship to deter predators. When they see you, they remember their last encounter where they were vivisected and blasted with gamma radiation and they give you a wide berth (think Monarch butterfly vs Viceroy butterfly)

2.) You are required by new EU regulation to declare that you are not a real spaceship for consumer protection reasons. Violation gets you sent directly to EU prison where they make you solve fluid dynamic equations by hand with imperial units. Truly a fate worse than death.

3.) You are sick and tired of everyone thinking you ARE a real space ship and find it better to just get it out there right off the bat. You honestly have no idea how people can confuse your cardboard and Christmas lights for real alien tech, even though they do look quite smart.

4.) That’s EXACTLY what a real spaceship would say and you are lying. 😑

5.) Not a spaceship and actually several centuries after the fact, but I've written several anonymous treatises in the style of a genuine spaceship and some readers have mistakenly attributed my work to its earlier inspiration.

Quotes taken from these posts by @totallycorrectdannyphantomquotes