#prueblakecomedy

I am not watching Euphoria. I would love to watch Euphoria, it sounds like people are really into it and I hate not being able to discuss the show that everyone is talking about. My first week of Uni I was convinced I was going to be a huge hit socially because I would simply talk to everyone about what has been happening on Dexter. 

Now, 10 years later, I simply no longer care about the struggles of teenagers enough to get involved at all. Especially teenagers that are much cooler than I would ever be. I don’t want to relive what happens in the past, I want a Dianne Keaton film and spoilers for my future. 

Ultimately though, I just don’t want to bring that sort of intensity into my life. Being a teenager is such a wild and emotional time, when you can’t control all of the hormones raging through your body. Luckily as an adult I have now come to accept that those intense have pretty much evened out to be just 3 weeks of PMS a month otherwise known as my core personality. 

We ended up staying for three nights in a hotel with no in room Wi-Fi, which at the very least should be classified as bad karma if not fully illegal in the year 2022. I am writing this while hot-spotting off my phone like an actual peasant woman. Next you’ll catch me scrubbing my delicates over the bathtub while humming a little folk ditty. I even went as far as to buy a hard copy Delicious magazine to help entertain me without chewing through my data too excessively. 

Another mistake because hard copy magazines are boring little advertisements that should remain limited to their sole remaining domain of the dentist waiting room. They had a whole spread dedicated to the tik tok feta and tomato pasta that had a viral moment MONTHS ago. Why do I need to pay to have old internet printed out?