I haven't really talked a lot about my "gender journey" or whatever the term one might call like- idk figuring yourself out. But it's June, so I guess it has me thinking about it.
Hi, I'm Olivia/Ollie/Oliver, I identify as genderfluid (any/all) and I'm into men. I'm extremely out and open about my identity online. My irl my family knows, but given the whole "any pronouns" thing they just sorta lean to "default settings" when it comes to addressing me. I don't really mind, they use my chosen name and that's enough for me.
I feel like there's been signs all my life that gender's never really been something that mattered to me. I remember always wanting the "boy" toys at McDonalds, whenever I got Barbies I'd play with their accessories and not the dolls themselves, but I think looking back one of the major egg cracking moments was when I was in middle/high school I was so down awful for two fictional men that I decided I'd make them real by "becoming them", aka dressing like them and taking up habits. Sweet honey baby Olive you didn't know. (My current name is one of their names, that man is still haunting my narrative lmao)
It took me a while to really come to terms with it since at the time I was dating someone who was trying to force me into a mold of "traditional femininity" and I'm lucky I managed to get out while I could. Plus this was in 2017-18 and I feel like the online culture was EXTREMELY hostile towards non-binary genders around that time. It's hard to remember but I think it was around 2019-2020 that I became more sure of how I identified.
But honestly... pride has always been something I've sorta felt distant from. I don't really have any plans of medical transitioning, I don't mind my chest in the slightest, I don't cut my hair really any "gendered" way, mostly I just dress like a cool uncle. I know very well that I'm not "faking" my identity. I know what I am, and I could care less if people think I'm one thing or another. But even still, I've just... felt like an outsider to a degree. Now I know very well that you do not need to get surgery and you do not need to present in any which way to be trans, non-binary, what have you. But even still, it's been something I've personally struggled with for a while. But hey, maybe with this post that'll change a lil bit.
Happy pride everyone. Don't let anyone tell you who or what you are, no one knows you better than yourself.