#protologist

“Everything Everywhere All at Once” (the other multiverse movie) has received many accolades, including winning: 5 Critics’ Choice Awards and 2 Golden Globes.

And being nominated for 10 BAFTAs and 11 Oscars.

PLUS it’s the first best picture nominee to feature two characters fighting with DILDOS and BUTT PLUGS inserted into their rectums.

I wonder if this feat makes the two actors (brothers Andy Le & Brian Le) eligible for AVN Awards, given to performers in the porn industry.

If Kevin Feige knew in advance that butt plugs were eligible for Oscar Noms, “Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness” would have had an entirely different villain - Dr. Nicodemus West (Michael Stuhlbarg) as Stephen Strange’s proctologist.

Whenever we go to see our favorite doctor, we never want to let them down. Now I know we are all supposed to do the things they say every appointment: floss your butt crack, stop eating only twinkies for a week, wipe after you poop, but who really has time to do all that stuff. Now here’s a few fibs we’ve all been guilty of telling the man with the magic finger.

1. This is the first time this has ever happened. (Don’t be afraid to break out this one every time you cum while he’s up there.)

2. Just because it looks like I ate a child doesn’t mean I actually did!

3. Fur? I can’t imagine where that came from.

4. Of course, you are my first proctologist! (don’t let him get jealous)

5. Nope, no fists up there in the last month.

6. Yea I’m doing the sphincter exercises you told me about!

7. Just cause your brother is a heart doctor, doesn’t mean he’s any more of a life saver than you.

8. Don’t worry about it that lump has always been there.

9. HOW DID THAT BUTT PLUG GET IN THERE?!