wishful thinking

smosh

I was unsure of him, for attractions to him at first were stronger than I used to. Something.. someone was encouraging it. I wonder what would happen if I pushed into him.

"The flowers are lovely, anon. thank you so much."

        ☽ ▪ ▫ ┇his face turned serious for a moment as he turned to souji. “do you know what will happen if i ‘ignore instructions’ like you ask?” he first questions him, a hint of annoyance in his voice. “if i don’t do my duties then NOTHING will ever get done. all of you would rather slack off and ignore my orders. doing such brings shame to the shinsengumi and i for one won’t stand for that.” sometimes he felt like he was scolding a child. souji was always more laid back, but he knew how important the shinsengumi were. “if i don’t, no one will.”

       ☽ ▪ ▫ ┇he sighed softly, silence filled the room for a moment. “that’s not something you need to concern yourself with.” she always did this, always asked him about his choices or felt the need to give him some kind of comfort that was foreign to him. his back was turned to her as he scribbled down on his paper. always working, that’s what he did everyday. he had too, it was his duty and he always kept to his promises and duties like he was a slave to them. his deep voice rang out again. “besides, isn’t there something else you should be doing instead of bothering me?” he questioned her without even looking towards her. the girl just didn’t know to stay away. he couldn’t deal with such trivial things right now. besides, he knew who he was, what he had done in the past. his hands were stained with blood, unfit for any person much less a woman. “the shinsengumi have a lot of work to do. it doesn’t matter why i decided, there’s nothing that can be changed now.” he stated rather bluntly to her. it was over, in the past. nothing could be done or said about the choice he made now. he was already damned, so becoming a monster made no difference.

“Guileless son,I’ll shape your beliefAnd you’ll always know that your father’s a thiefAnd you won’t understand the cause of your griefBut you’ll always follow the voices beneathLoyalty loyalty loyalty loyaltyLoyalty loyalty loyalty only to me.”