#prof!spencer

Pretty girl.

Incredible just how accurate Derek's nickname for Dove was...

I had seriously tried not to, but my eyes always seemed to snap back at her like she was a magnetic force capturing me with her long, straightened white-blonde mane, pink puffy lips, and – since three hours – with those beautiful, in velvet dressed curves.

I wasn't one to stare, yet sitting next to her in the club, watching over her drink when she and Penelope went dancing...

She was so beautiful. Every. Singly. Inch.

This girl was perfection. Her laugh, the way her nose twitched when Penelope got her to drink tequila, how she – although already tipsy – always came back to me and tried to have a somewhat sober conversation so I wouldn't feel left out.

How lucky I had been to have her forgive my stupid words that had hurt her so much. I never ever wanted to make that mistake again. The tears and the fact that she wasn't even surprised that she had gotten hurt made me vow to think of how I was behaving more.

It wasn't a secret that during the last months, while my relationship with Max had fallen apart and after we parted ways, I had become bitter and – as Emily said – often could be a petty bitch.

Dove had cashed in a fair share of my petty behavior. I swore to myself that I would make it up to her even though she wasn't even holding a grudge.

I was lucky to have such a kind-hearted little bird in my life.

"Professor, I'm a little drunk.", she announced sitting down next to me, and I chuckled.

"Now is that so?", Dove nodded, and I handed her the bottle of water I had gotten earlier. "Drink some water. It'll help." "Kay.", she chirped, doing as told and looking at the music video playing on one of the TVs mounted to the walls. "Why don't you drink?", she suddenly asked, making me shrug.

She was clearly not sober or ready enough to hear about my history with addiction.

"Because I can't watch out for you when I'm drunk.", was what I settle for as an answer instead. "You don't need to always watch out for me." "But I feel better knowing you're safe."

Her eyes became soft, cheeks a little pinker, and she nudge me with her shoulder.

"That makes me feel special and important.", she joked, making me look at her. "Because you are."

The longer I stared into these beautiful blue oceans, the soberer she seemed to become solely through the honesty I had given her with my words. She sat up straight and shook her head a little, laughing at herself.

"Ew, look at me getting all emotional and flustered by that."

"Feeling a little soberer?", she nodded at the water bottle, eyes falling onto her bracelet. "Yeah. I liked your magic tricks by the way.", I grinned. We hadn't really gotten around to talking about it since Rossi's. "Was the whole point."

Looking at me again, I couldn't help but notice her tongue wetting her lips before they parted into a kittenish smile.

"Next time I'll perform one for you.", I raised my brows at this promise. "That takes some practice, Sweetheart.", she blinked a couple of times. "Yeah, so?", Dove asked as if it was nothing, like the effort was worth it for me, and I nodded and grinned.

"Okay. Can't wait then."

The proud and excited smile on her lips melted my heart as she closed her water bottle.

"Kay. I'm think gonna dance with Penny again. If that's okay, I mean? I can stay and talk if you want?"

Moving my head in the direction of the dancefloor, I smiled. "Go have fun.", this made her smile.

"I'd have fun with you too but okay.", she giggled and got up, leaving me again.

I knew that alcohol stifles reasoning skills and contemplating repercussions. That was why people were more likely to tell the truth while intoxicated, offering up brutally honest, unfiltered opinions, or do something dumb like almost kissing your student while watching a teen rom-com.

Watching Dove, alcohol seemed to give her the courage to do or say things she ordinarily wouldn't. She jumped around with Penelope, sang along, and clearly enjoyed herself. Not overthinking every single movement like anxiety liked to force her to.

The team, minus Dove who had gone to the bathroom, had come back to sit with me and have another round of drinks. Laughing and being extremely proud of having gotten Dove to let loose a little.

At Rossi's, it hadn't looked like it at first. After Penelope, JJ and Emily had dressed Dove and put makeup on her like she was a little doll, she had seemed terribly nervous.

Sweetheart had already told me she wasn't going out a lot but she seemed to stay home alone more often than she was willing to admit.

I caught her smile as she made her way across the dancefloor to us and then watched it disappear as she looked to the side as if somebody had just called her name.

I had to force myself to not run up to her and become overbearing. Just a vanishing smile didn't mean danger. Yet, I already hated whoever had made it disappear with the fire of a thousand suns.

The second I saw the tall, chubby redhead the number of suns increased.

Dove's ex-boyfriend. The idiot who didn't respect her boundaries, the asshole that had cheated on her. The one guy she had allowed to be her partner and he had thanked her by proving that he wasn't worth her affection.

Dove seemed to get annoyed, telling him something while shaking her head and pulling away her hand as he tried taking it.

"Who's that guy?", Emily asked as the whole group seemed to quickly have fallen out of drunkenness and into observing mode.

"Dove's ex.", I answered, eyes not leaving Dove as she seemed to get more and more frustrated in the conversation Logan was capturing her in.

Luke lifted himself a little from the seat to have a better view. "What does that dude want?" "I don't know."

Their conversation got audible as Dove walked into our direction, having him grab her hand so she'd turn around harshly.

"Leave me alone, Logan.", she said clearly upset, pulling her arm from his grip again.

"C'mon, Babe. I just want you back.", of course, he wanted her back, moron had tossed gold out of the window without realizing how irreplaceable and precious it was.

"I'm not interested." "Why not?", Logan asked, getting irritated because she didn't come back to him like a little dog.

His question earned a sarcastic laugh and rolling eyes from Dove. "You cheating on me and getting that woman pregnant just seems like a red flag."

JJ looked at me, touching my arm carefully as if to figure out if I knew more than the others about this situation and if they needed to get worried.

"Spence?", she asked, my eyes still fixed on Dove as she now started walking towards our table again. "Last time she saw him I had to intervene."

I stood up, welcoming Dove with concern. "Hey, little bird.", I cooed as Logan promptly walked up behind her.

"Oh, fuck me. The Suit-Ninja. 'Sup my man?", he greeted me, having me shake my head and rather focus on her.

"Are you okay?", I asked, while she nodded and turned to her ex. "Just leave, Logan."

"Women.", he shrugged in my direction, before starting to gaslight my little bird. "Dove, you know I love you so much more than any of the women I sleep with."

"You have a pregnant girlfriend at home.", Dove told him, eyes becoming full with angry tears. I somehow knew that if not for the pregnancy, Dove would've already been his again.

But her words didn't stop Logan. Gaslighting seemed to have worked on her before since he tried it again, sounding so genuine and soft I felt like either throwing up or throwing fists.

"We're just fuck-buddies. You know that men have urges and-" "She told you to leave.", I interrupted his manipulative nonsense.

He looked at me confused for a split second before eyeing my little bird again.

"Are you serious? C'mon, Sugar. Talk to me.", Dove turned away from him, thinking she would get him to understand that she didn't even want to look at him anymore. "No. Leave me alone."

There he did what I had feared he would. "Okay, that's bullshit. Come here.", he said angrily, grabbing her left wrist with a force that made his knuckles turn white and harshly pulled on her arm, wanting to force her to come with him.

Red. Fuming anger and murder filled my vision as Dove cried out in pain.

I had tried to let to let her fight her own battles, tried not to be too much but this, this right here was where I drew the line. I instantly stepped in, removing his hand from her, and rammed him with full force onto our table, pinning him down and his arm on his back.

"Seems like you're going to learn a very valuable lesson tonight and that is 'No means No'. Don't you ever dare touching a woman again after she told you multiple times that she isn't interested in a fat, embarrassing excuse of a man like you are.", I growled just waiting for him to resist and give me a reason to truly hurt him.

"You're breaking my arm, man.", he whimpered like the pathetic coward all abusive and manipulative men were deep inside.

I almost grinned at his weakness, indulging in the groans of pain as I made sure to twist his arm some more, barely noticing the shocked looks of my friends.

"I promise you, if you don't leave her alone I will do much worse to you than just breaking your arm. You will now leave the premises and never touch, contact, or even think of Dove ever again. Else I make sure your child grows up with two mommies. Did I make myself clear?"

He nodded at my threat, cheek scraping on the table. "C-Crystal."

As I let go of him, he removed himself from the table, wincing and rubbing his arm. I watched him like a lion lurking in the high grass, ready to attack. Faster than his pitiable slow mind would've ever been able to process.

He walked away a few steps and then turned around once more, sluggishly smiling at me like he hadn't almost pissed himself a few seconds ago.

"Hey, Suit.", he called me, looking once more at Dove before back at me. "If you think that whole alpha male act will get her to fuck you, good luck. I tried getting into these prude little panties for six years. If you're not a quarterback she isn't interested."

Launching at Logan, I was ready to commit a brutal murder. The only thing saving this useless, fat fuck's life was Luke, who grabbed me by the shoulders and held me back.

"Hey, he isn't worth it.", he told me, turning me in Dove's direction, who stared at me shocked, trembling like a leave. "Better take care of Dove. I'll make sure he leaves."

Grabbing Logan by the shoulder and beeing accompanied by Tara, both obviously just as done with him as the rest of the table, Luke escorted him outside.

As I could feel the adrenaline in my blood drop, I just took Dove in my arms, hoping to make the both of us stop shaking.

"It's okay.", I cooed while firmly rubbing her back. I certainly didn't want her to have an anxiety attack. "I'm sorry.", she whimpered into my chest.

"You have nothing to be sorry about.", I assured her before pulling her away from me to look at her arm. "Did he hurt you?"

God, if the answer was to be yes, Logan wouldn't be save in all of DC.

"My arm hurt before already.", my little bird shrugged. "Thank you.", brushing her hair behind her ears, I left my hands to cup her face while I caressed her cheeks with my thumbs.

"Always, Sweetheart. Really."

Dove nodded, hands holding onto my wrists before removing herself from my touches and looking around.

"Hey, can you go outside with me for a bit? I need fresh air.", I nodded in response, grabbing her jacket as I followed her through the crowd.

*****

"N-No, don't sit on the-", I started as Dove sat down on the dirty, red metal staircase on the side of the club.

"They're just stairs.", she said, having me raise my eyebrows. "Dirty stairs." "Germophobe.", she snickered before becoming more serious.

"I'm sorry for saying 'Fuck you.'. I really like you, Spencer."

I quickly sat down next to her, my name from her lips had made me become a little lightheaded. Not only that but also, she liked me. After all the things I said and did, she still found it in her heart to like me.

"I like you too, Sweetheart.", I replied, making her grin. "I love it when you call me that." "You do?", I asked gladly, and she nodded.

"But 'little bird' I like better because I still remember when you called me that for the first time.", I looked at her, wondering if she really did, so she carried on. "After I almost drowned. You were the first thing I saw and you seemed so happy that I didn't die."

"Because I was. Still am."

She did. I also remembered it still. Although I played this game with an unfair gift, having me remember every second since I saw her. I had gotten so close to losing her without ever having the chance to truly know her. What a loss that would've been.

"Isn't it crazy?", she spoke into the silence between us. "What?" "About two months ago you didn't even know my name and now you're my favorite person."

Favorite person. I had never been somebody's favorite – except for my mother's... Maybe. Hard to tell.

"I am?", I asked, having a hard time believing it.

"Not that hard since I have nobody... But you set the bar really high when it comes to people being nice. Thank you for being nice to me.", I nodded as if it wasn't obvious that she deserved this treatment. Curling her nose, she giggled at me. "But it feels weird using your name. Think I'm gonna stick with Professor."

I wrapped an arm around Dove and chuckled at that statement. "You know that once you graduate you'll have to start using my name eventually, right?", she shrugged. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Maybe I just switch to Doctor."

Our both laughing ceased and we just sat there in the cold, dulled down music the only thing to hear.

"I- I was a cheerleader in high school. M- My mom wanted me to be one at all cost and she was really nice to me when I told her I would do it.", Dove whispered into the silence, suddenly all teary-eyed and shaky again.

My little bird, a cheerleader. It sounded nothing like her. Given that it was her mother's wish she probably forced herself to make it work for her approval. Forced herself into somebody else's mold, no matter if she would break herself by doing so.

"My school had this thing where cheerleaders belonged to the football players and although it made me very popular it messed me up really, really badly. There were no boys even looking at me after I became one... But Logan didn't care about all that. Not fair that he now uses it against me."

Shaking my head and wiping away the tears running down her cheek, I sighed. "Why did you even date that guy anyway? He's a complete waste of oxygen."

"He liked me.", Dove mumbled, and her words just struck me with confusion. "The bar can't be that low, Sweetheart.", that was when she looked at me whimpering. "That isn't low."

My heart hurt. She genuinely thought of herself as hard to love, settling for a gaslighting asshole who treated her as worthless as she thought herself to be.

The happened situation still sat deep within my bones. I still heard her say no, I still remembered her ex ignore it and just pack her roughly and force her to follow him. I couldn't – didn't want to – imagine how far this behavior had gone before, at times where nobody was there to step in...

His final words had caused also a different worry in my mind. Just remembering me once more of how fragile the little bird was.

"Dove?", I asked her, having to have this next question answered.

I took her hands, making sure she looked at me, hoping I was able to read it in her behavior should she try to lie.

"Logan said something I found quite worrisome... He never forced you into anything, now did he?", she shook her head, making me lean closer just to be sure. "Are you sure? You know you can tell me."

"Because of that thing with me being prude, huh?", I nodded, and Dove became a little fidgety, looking at our hands, cheeks starting to go red. "I-... Sex and stuff just aren't for me... I- it makes me really uncomfortable, so I don't do it.", she stuttered.

I had known Dove was innocent, she just had this aura to her, but I hadn't thought she was that innocent. I was surprised but didn't wonder about it at the same time.

Her stuttered explanation seemed to have been embarrassing for since she quickly continued speaking.

"That wasn't even Logan's first affair. I think this was number five or six... Just the first time he got somebody pregnant."

"I can't believe you took him back every time.", I said, shaking my head.

"I- It was kinda my fault too because I didn't want to-", before she could say anything more defending this idiot, I interrupted her.

"Don't ever say that again. If he would've truly loved you he would've waited. In a relationship, neither the pressure nor obligation to have sex with the other should exist. Just because you're not ready for sex doesn't mean that he had the right to cheat on you."

"You're sweet.", she told me, nudging my arm. "Even though you can be a real pain in the ass."

I looked at her grin, raising my eyebrows and she started laughing.

"I try to better myself.", I promised, her nodding approvingly at that. "That's good because I don't like the mean Spencer you can be. He's too much like everyone I've ever known."

Inevitably I asked myself with that meant that I, when simply being myself, was special in her eyes. I liked that idea.

"I can bring you home if you want.", I offered, making her shake her head. "I kinda wanna get drunk again and dance with Penny. Also, we only have one apartment key and I'm scared I don't wake up when she comes home and she has to sleep in the hallway."

I didn't know how good this was as a coping mechanism but Dove's plan seemed be unchangeable. So I let her do what she wanted, staying at the club with her and waiting to take her and Penelope home once she decided she had enough for the night.

*****

At around 2 a.m. was the next time that I saw Dove. Emily and Tara had dragged her off after JJ and Matt had gone home to their families.

Wrapping her arms around my neck, she held onto me as she was too drunk to keep her balance.

"Well, hello.", I greeted her surprised, and she looked at me frowning.

"So drunk.", Dove babbled, having me sit her down while pushing her hair out of her face. "I can see that. When did it escalate that much?"

"Emily made us have a drinking contest with shots and I didn't win.", she pouted. "Trust me, Dove, I don't think any of you came out of that a winner."

She nodded slowly, seeming a little more exhausted than drunk when looking at her long enough. I handed her the new water bottle I had gotten her and opened it for her as she didn't manage to put up enough force to open it.

"I wanna go home.", she told me taking a sip and closing the bottle again.

"Sure. Where is Penelope?", I asked, and she shrugged. "No idea?", shaking her head almost childlike at me, I realized Dove must've searched for me because I had promised to watch out for her.

Looking around for Penelope, I saw Tara on the dancefloor. I told Dove to wait for me and drink her water.

"Tara? Tara. Where's Garcia?", I asked my dancing friend. "She and Luke left an hour ago.", great.

"Okay. I'm gonna take Dove home.", still mid-sentence, Tara waved at Emily and ran up to her, leaving me standing there and talking to no one. "Are you guys ok- And you're leaving. Great."

As I had thought on multiple occasions tonight, I didn't like partying.

I checked again but Tara and Emily seemed to be doing fine and then decided to rather take my drunk student home. Calling neither Luke nor Penelope worked, always going straight to voicemail.

Seemed like I was having a sleepover guest again.

"Where's Penny?", she promptly asked as a approached her. "She left with Luke."

"Rude.", she squealed a little huffy. "What a traitor."

I tried my best not to chuckle, yet still did. She was frowning but so cute doing so.

"Sweetheart, I think you'll have to sleep at my place tonight.", Dove looked at me with big eyes. "Why?" "Because neither Luke nor Penelope pick up and I don't know if she's even at home.", I sat down on the chair in front of her. "Is that okay for you?"

If not, I would've checked in with Rossi to have her stay at his place but thankfully she nodded, frowning at her dress.

"But you need to borrow me some clothes. Can't sleep like that... Look like a hooker." "No, you don't. You're very beautiful.", I told her, making her smile. "Charmer.", she snickered, and her mind quickly lost focus on me. "I think I'm gonna dance again."

"You said you wanna go home.", shrugging at me, Dove already stood up. "Yeah but I just can get more blackout drunk instead. I've never done that before."

"Why would you?", I asked standing up as well. "I had a really bad day and I feel like a shit because I will stay alone forever.", a terrible coping mechanism.

"That is an awful reason.", I told her but got a very sudden mood swing from her, getting too depressive and too careless for my taste. "Everything in my life is awful. Right now, I'm having fun... Maybe I just go home with someone, get at least one issue out of the way..."

Over my dead body, I would have her leave with a stranger. Over my dead body, she would have a drunken one-night stand, losing her virginity just because she thought it to be an 'issue' having to be dealt with.

"Okay, that's it. We're leaving.", I ordered, my tone clearly not working with Dove. "I don't want to.", she whined as I grabbed her waist hindering her from running off.

"C'mon, Sweetheart.", I cooed. "Doesn't a nice warm bed and eating fast food with me after waking up sound better than staying here and drinking?"

Not that I would've cared much if the answer would've been negative but she nodded a little pouting and was cooperative when I helped her put her jacket on.

*****

"Home sweet home.", I announced, opening my apartment door and letting Dove in.

She had been sleeping in the cab for a few minutes and the cold air had sobered her up a little. She was still drunk, don't get me wrong, but at least she was able to walk on her own.

Kicking off her heels and hanging her jacket on the coat hanger, she watched me do the same.

"Spencer?", I hummed at her. "I wouldn't have gone home with someone.", she mumbled. "I know. I wouldn't have let you.", I assured her as she wrapped her arms around my waist and hugged me.

"I would only ever go home with you.", my brain told my heart to not interpret it in any other way than friends taking care of each other but her next sentence made it so difficult for my heart to listen. "You make me feel safe.", chuckling, I patted her head. "Now we kinda accomplished that. Let's get you to bed."

Dove stopped hugging me and stretched her arms in my direction. "Carry me.", at my raised eyebrows she gave me her best rendition of puppy eyes I had ever seen. "Please. I'm regretfully drunk and everything is spinning."

I had a massive soft spot for her, no use in denying it. I lifted her up, making her giggle, and carried her to my bedroom.

"There we go.", I cooed as I sat her on the bed.

Trying to get up formed itself to become difficult as Dove let herself fall back onto the mattress, pulling me down with her.

"Very funny, little bird.", I laughed over her amused giggles, laying on top of her. "Now let me get up."

"Nope.", she said with a kittenish smile, pulling me further down as I tried getting up, accidentally tickling me in the process. I tried grabbing her hands and pulling them off me, not able to hide my laugh.

"Dove.", propping myself up on my hands, she propped herself up on her elbows following me.

My face was now only inches away from hers, my right leg between hers. This had gotten too sexual all of a sudden. We both realized this as our laughing quickly stopped, eyes locked on each other, and breathing became heavy.

When her hand gently cupped my left cheek, my heart skipped a beat.

"You're so hot.", she whispered softly, and it felt as if it was poetry leaving her lips.

I had absolutely no right to see Dove in this way. This was unacceptable. After being frozen in place for a while, she let herself fall into the pillows and looked at me.

"I'm sorry. I- I'm a little drunk.", she stuttered as I came to terms with the fact that the picture of her underneath me was going to stay in my mind forever.

This time I was able to get off her and walk to my closet without her protesting. From it I grabbed clothes.

"Okay, Dove?", she looked as I handed them to her. "There's a shirt and some sweats for you to wear. Hope that is okay?", she nodded. "I'm gonna let you get changed and come back in a few to tuck you in."

*****

Five minutes I had given her to get changed. Having calmed my heart down and told me to be realistic in the meanwhile.

Dove had only said those things because she was drunk. She probably hadn't even realized the context under which she had done it.

The reality was that I was her professor, her mentor. Maybe I was her friend but I was nothing more. I had no right to be more.

Dove was so innocent. It was foolish and unethical of me to want her. This desire had no right to exist within me.

For this young woman, I was probably just a caring friend coming closer to a parental figure than someone she wanted, in the same way, I caught myself wanting her from time to time.

I loved having her around as a friend too much to ruin it by wanting more.

It was better this way. Healthier. We both would be happier this way.

"Are you dressed?", I asked, knocking on my bedroom door. "Yeah.", answered her soft voice, and I came in handing her a glass of water.

"Hi.", Dove greeted me. "Hi.", I replied. "I brought you some makeup wipes."

She took them, thanking me quietly, and began cleaning off her makeup. Like the last time I had watched her do so, she left dark circles of makeup underneath her eyes.

"How do you always end up looking like a little raccoon?", I laughed, taking one of the wipes, helping. With thumb and index finger I lifted her chin and made sure to clean everything. "There's my pretty girl.", I cooed, making her blush. "Let's tuck you in.

Dove sat back on my bed and I covered her up, pressing a kiss on top of her head.

"Goodnight, Sweetheart."

"Night, Spencer.", she mumbled tiredly, rolling over as I grabbed one of the pillows and my spare blanket, walking outside into my living room.

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