♡

“hey, are you busy?” you ask, regretting the words as soon as you saw the piles of paperwork on his desk and the look of frustration on his face. you opened your mouth, ready to apologise for bothering him when he puts his pen down and gestures for you to enter.

“is everything ok y/n?” he asks, his gentle tone taking you by surprise - you’d expected annoyance or a dismissive gesture. but all you saw was his shoulders relax, and his eyes widened slightly with intrigue.

“oh i was -uh-  just wondering if you wanted to get dinner.” you almost winced at the way you stuttered and his eyebrows raise slightly in what you could only detect as amusement. you took this as a sign to continue, “i just mean, we’re the only ones left and its late and i dont really feel like walking out on my own.” a sigh left your lips as you finished - that couldn’t have come out worse if you’d tried.

you were almost certain he’d tell you to leave, that he had far too much to do. instead, he looks at you for a moment, not saying a word before standing up. “ok.” he says, and now it was your turn to be surprised. he places a few items inside his bag and walks over to you. “let’s go.”

the plan was to walk over to the restaurant, eat your meal and walk back to your car and drive home. simple, almost impossible to go wrong. but of course, it did, you got there just slightly after 10:30 - your heart sinking slightly as you saw them closing up the sit-in area for the night. “takeout only.” the guy at the counter said, before heading back into the kitchen.

you turned to face hotch who didn’t seem at all phased by the unexpected hurdle in the plan. “we can find someplace else.” you whispered, feeling bad for dragging him out of his office and away from his work.

but he only shook his head, “no, it’s fine - we’ll figure something out, " he said before picking up a menu and reading through the options, leaving you to wonder what he could propose as a solution.

it wasn’t until you’d left the restaurant, two bags full of takeout boxes that he’d let you in on his plan. and that's how you ended up here, sitting on the floor in the living room of your boss’s apartment- reruns of various 90s shows playing on the tv as you both divulged in the best Thai food DC had to offer.

“this is really good, i can’t believe i’ve never been there before.” he said, adding some more green curry to his plate. you let out a small laugh, reaching over to take the box from him and add the rest to your own - already full - plate.

“not too many people know about it, i found it my first week here when i was scoping out the area and it’s been my little secret ever since.” you admit.

“well, thank you for sharing it with me.” the way he smiles as he says it makes your stomach flutter, and you’re grateful when his attention moves back to food and away from you - the ridiculous grin on your face becoming almost impossible to hide.

it's hard enough trying not to look at him with metaphoric heart eyes but you can’t help it - it all feels surreal, you never thought you’d be here, indulging in such a domestic moment with him. it was no secret you’d been in love with hotch since your very first week at the bau. it sounds ridiculous, especially since he’d barely looked your way but there was something about him - a magnetic energy that pulled you in.

the vibration of his phone shook the table slightly, interrupting the comfortable silence. He sighed and stood up quickly, mumbling a rushed 'one second' before walking to the kitchen. the hushed conversation couldn't be heard, but the disappointment on his face as he came back out to the living room told you the evening was coming to an end sooner than you'd like.

"is everything all right?" you asked as he approached you. you observed how he didn't sit down again and how his shoulders had tensed, his demeanor moving from comfortable to...well, how he typically was, guarded.

“that was jessica, jack not sleeping well, so she’s going to bring him home, I'm sorry." he explained, but you were shaking your head before he could continue speaking.

"there's no need to apologise, hotch; dad duty comes first." you smiled at him, and he returned a small one. "let me help you tidy this up, and I'll be on my way." you quickly began to close the nearly empty containers, and he didn’t hesitate to help. 

“do you need want to me to drop you home?” he asked, as he put away the last if the dishes. 

“my apartment is only a few blocks away, I can walk.” you replied, watching as he turned to face you, eyebrows furrowed with concern. a giggle escaped your lips before you could stop it, “i have my gun, and pepper spray. I’ll be fine.” 

his eyes glittered with amusement, “i don’t doubt that, i’ve seen you throw your fair share of punches.” he laughs, and you feel your heart clench at the sound. it's silent for a moment, before he continues. “thank you for dragging me out of that office - can’t imagine having dinner with your boss was how you wanted to spend your evening.”

“‘are you kidding? thank you for keeping me company, i really appreciate it.” its true, you were grateful for the company - it was easy to you feel isolated from others because of your job, and it wasn't until this evening that you realised how much you'd missed socialising outside of work. “and you’re not just my boss hotch, you’re my friend.” 

he tilts his head for a moment, his eyes skim across your face quickly, and you don’t miss the way they linger over your lips. “friends?” he whispers, as he moves closer to you, your back pressing against the island as you take a step back - unsure if you’d be able to hold yourself back, if he got any closer. 

‘friends.” you repeated, and before the words had finished leaving your mouth you felt yourself reaching up, your hands were on his shoulders as your press your lips against his. you close your eyes before you can see his reaction, and pull away, not waiting for a reponse. “i’m so sorry - hotch i shouldn’t have…” you whispered, moving away from him and towards the door, if the earth couldn't swallow you up from the ground - the next best option would be to run out of his door. 

‘y/n.. y/n wait.” he followed you,  quickening his footsteps and grabbing hold of your wrist to stop you moving any further. he drew you close to him and reached up to touch your face. His hands were startlingly cold next to your heated cheeks but you couldn't bring yourself to care. “friends kiss each other all the time, right?” before you can reply, he’s kissing you and this time there’s no hesitancy, no confusion - its perfect, your lips mould together as though they were made for this…like you were made for each other. 

despite wanting to freeze the moment, and live in it forever - you pulled away. ‘i- i should go, it’s late and jack will be back soon.” you say, and he nods in response - you’re acutely aware of his hands still holding your face. you bring your own hands up, to place over his. “but we should do this again… as friends.” you smile, as you walk away and open the door. 

“or maybe more?” he asks, taking you by surprise for the third time that night. your lips meet his again, for a brief moment, before answering. 

“or maybe more.” 

-

so you didn't say anything - you waited for him to bring it up, tell you what was bothering him in his own time. that was until one particular night, he’d worn one of his tight shirts and he looked absolutely delectable. you had practically pounced on him the moment you got home, pushing him against the couch and jumping on top of him. his hands found home on your hips as you held his face and kissed him - a kiss full of desperation and love. he reciprocated your every move, biting down on your lip - pulling you closer against him.

so you didn't think twice as your nimble fingers made their way down his chest, brushing against the soft material of his shirt and undoing the buttons so quick you might as well have ripped them off. you didn't get very far before you felt his hands leave your body and grip your wrists, stopping you before you exposed his chest. “y/n…” he whispered, gently manoeuvring you off him and standing up, buttoning his shirt back up. “we can’t.”

you move to get up on your knees, wobbling slightly on the soft couch. your hands come up to hold his wrists - pausing his movements. a sigh leaves his lips as he looks at you, “aaron please talk to me.”

“i can’t.” he whispers, trying to tug himself away, but you hold on tighter - you knew this wasn’t going to be an easy conversation, there was no denying that. but you knew the longer he kept this inside, kept whatever it was that was eating him up to himself, the worse it would get.

“please. why are you hiding.” you almost pleaded, watching as his eyes blinked rapidly - as though he was holding back tears and you felt your heart sink.

“i don’t want you to see them.” his hands are shaking as he answers, and you immediately move from his wrists to cover them, keeping them steady under your palms. “you don’t need to see this.”

“see what aaron.” you question as that familiar feeling of knowing…understanding creeps in. his eyes glance down for a moment, to his covered chest, his movements so quick you might’ve missed them had not you been staring at him so intently.

you move slightly, instinctively - and his eyes are quick to look away as your fingers reach towards the buttons on his shirt. you’re trembling as you undo each one, slowly… hesitantly. “y/n…” he whispers, and you wait for him to stop you, to pull you away from him but he doesn’t. he stands there, allowing you closer to him that he has in months. it’s difficult to conceal your emotions, when you see what he’s been hiding - the scars that covered his body, the constant reminder of what he’d been through. through the deafening silence in the room - you’re almost sure he can hear your heart shatter.

the moment his shirt is fully open, his skin bare and on display, he holds his breath. you can feel it, the way his body stiffens. you’re quick to return your hands to his chest, waiting for him to face you again. “baby…this doesn’t change how i see you,” his eyes meet yours again, tears welling up as he sees the undeniable adoration written across your face. “i love you aaron, nothing will make me ever stop loving you.”

slower this time, you begin to make your way down his body - taking your time to kiss over his scars, letting your lips linger over each one. his hands are stuck by his side, almost too afraid to touch you. so you pull away slowly, raising your body back up - stopping once you’re face to face with him. you place your palms on his cheeks, using the pads of your thumbs to brush away his tears. you hated seeing him cry. “please don’t let him take you from me. you’re still the man i love, and nothing will ever change that.”

anyway that morning, he wakes up when his alarm goes off and he doesn’t want to open his eyes, he doesn’t want the day to start and for his short moment of peace to end - but that's when he feels something tickling his face. nimble fingers tracing his nose, moving slowly down to his jawline. he smiles at this, “good morning.” he whispers, turning over to his side and opening his eyes gently.

you’re smiling at him, hand still holding his face - thumb running across his cheekbones. he kisses your palm, his own hand coming up to cover yours. “good morning handsome.” you say, giggling as he moves his lips to kiss over the ring that adorned your finger. “you gotta get up baby, you’re gonna be late.”

he lets go of your hand and falls back on his back with a groan, “i don't want to go.” he sighs, rubbing his hands across his face in hopes of waking himself up. you laugh as you manoeuvre yourself to sit on top of him, chin resting on his chest.

“i dont think you have a choice sweetheart, they need you.” you remind him but he shakes his head at your words.

“i don't want to leave you, or her. i should be here with both of you.” he pulled your body up higher and wrapped his arms around you. “maybe i should just retire.” he’s joking, of course, but there's something in his eyes that tells you he’s considered that option before this moment.

you place a kiss on his cheek, “aaron we’re fine, we will be fine. if i need anything i promise, i’ll call you.” his fingers hold your chin, bringing your lips to his. it's a sweet kiss, gentle and full of love. “now you have to get up.”

he pulls you closer, tighter than you thought possible, “5 more minutes?” he poses it as a question, kissing you again before you can tell him, again, that he’s going to be late.

“aaron-” he cuts you off again, kissing your cheeks this time, “- hotchner.” another kiss is placed on your lips, and he bites down slightly - pulling at it as moves away to reply.

“yes mrs hotchner?” he raises an eyebrow, smirking down at you, knowing exactly how much you love hearing him call you that. this time it's you that kisses him, it's needier than the ones before - he’d been subtly teasing you for too long, working you up on purpose - needing a reason for you to tell him to stay. his hands roam down your body, holding on to your hips as you deepen the kiss.