Treadmill or Cha-Cha: The Process of Progress
Have you ever felt stuck? Like your progress should be more visible? Have you ever felt you were moving forward but not going anywhere (treadmill, anyone)? Me too.
In many ways I feel I am in the same spot I was last year and the prior year. Still, I have also grown so much in the last 2 years that I am not the same person. We are taught to expect changes to be huge and/or significant. I would argue small changes are more realistic and better define growth.
For about three months I was doing really well with limiting my spending and making a dent in debt payments. Towards the end of October, one small mis-step led to multiple poor decisions. Before I knew it, I had gone backwards. I was back to not having control over my spending, and worse – adding unnecessary debt.
How did these poor habits start? They started with one trip to Dunkin Donuts for coffee because I was tired and needed that caffeine boost. The next day I bought junk food at the grocery store. Individually, these two things may not be huge. I had previously made a commitment to myself for both health and financial reasons to stop doing those things. Then I broke my own rules!
You all probably recognize the next part of the story: GUILT. While feeling bad about making one poor decision, I did it again and again because “I already did it once” and “I will fix it Monday.” You know the drill.
Robert Brault defines an optimist as “someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s a cha-cha.” Making progress and then falling short is normal. It is part of the dance we all participate in.
Setting aside my guilt, because I cannot change the past, I have to decide what I am going to do now. I can remember how those choices felt, the excuses I made, and how easily those excuses changed my course. I can use that as motivation to make wiser choices going forward. I can remind myself why I am working so hard to get out of debt. After all, the next step in the cha-cha is to go forward again!
God only gives us what we can handle, and he gives us exactly what we need to handle it. My focus is on what I can do to earn a little extra income this month to offset the losses. I can try to get some photography clients or I can clean some houses in my spare time. Either way, this moment is not the end of the story.
That thought process is huge. Two years ago this situation would have launched me into a meltdown complete with binge eating Reese’s cups and watching Netflix for hours. Today I listen to the wise words of people who have been there. I pray. I meditate on God’s word. I put on some music that makes me want to dance. I workout. I move forward. I take the next step!
In many ways, I have been in financial struggles my entire adult life, but I am handling it differently today. For that reason I feel I am wiser than the me of one year ago. I can go forward knowing I may mess up again, but that is okay.
If anyone out there feels trapped, stuck, or broken, I have too. If you feel like nothing has changed despite all your efforts, I have too. Take a deep breath. Numbing out and/or denying your problems will not make them go away. Look at what you have done that has worked in the past. Look at actions that have not worked and ask yourself what you can do differently. Ask a friend for advice. Read a book. Listen to a podcast. There are people out there who can help you. Take things one-step at a time. Whatever situation you find yourself in did not happen overnight, so you cannot expect to fix it immediately. Do what you can, and celebrate the small things. You can do it! I am here with you, doing the cha-cha. Let us dance together.
