The Bet
So I wrote this in 20 minutes for an 11 year old so we could work on problem-based narrative. Be wary, there are bad jokes. But there are also badass lady vampires, so I think it evens out:)
The wind howled and moaned through the sharp crags of the mountain peaks. It
whipped giant, wet snowflakes through the iron grey sky, and turned the air into a biting, freezing whirl. Cassandra shivered. As a vampire, she didn’t normally feel cold. Or heat. Or much of anything at all, really. But she did feel fear and, rightnow, she was very frightened indeed.
Vampires are generally quite difficult to kill. Stakes through the heart weren’t as effective as people thought they were, and the whole business with the crucifixes and garlic was, quite frankly, utter crap, but there were a few things that could do the trick. Fire. Being crushed to dust. Getting chopped into pieces wasn’t the most effective method, but if your enemy sent the pieces to the four corners of the world, or buried them somewhere they could never be found, like the top of a mountain…well, it wasn’t going to be good.
Unfortunately for her, she was standing on the top of a mountain in a very nasty blizzard, and the one person in Europe who knew all the very best ways to kill a vampire was, at this very moment, struggling up to the top of this mountain to Duchess Serafina Murdock. What an awful woman. Cassandra had never met anyone in her very long life who had as much capacity for cruelty, treachery, and every sort of evil as that woman did. The Duchess had torched whole villages, slaughtered innocents by the thousands, and tortured people just for the fun of hearing them scream. And now, for some inexplicable reason, she had decided that putting Cassandra to a slow and painful death would be an excellent pastime. Oh great, she said sarcastically to herself as the cold wind whipped her dark hair into her eyes, just what I had been hoping for all these years. She had tried to run. Se had tried to hide. But the Duchess had always caught up with her. At last, in a final attempt to shake the horrible woman from her trail, she had fled to the heights of the unforgiving Carpathian Mountains, hoping that the Duchess wouldn’t be so set on seeing her end that she would follow her up here to this blasted corner of the earth. Clearly, she had underestimated the Duchess’s resolve.
Just then, she heard the loud barking of several well-bred sled dogs drifting towards her through the ceaseless howl of the blizzard. The Duchess was coming. Please, she thought desperately, please just let me survive this blizzard, and I’ll never cross paths with evil people again as long as I live.
And, suddenly, as though a light had been flicked on in her head, she had a plan.
Yes…a delightful plan. Quickly, as the barking dogs grew louder, she patted the pockets of her jeans and her jacket, looking for something, anything that would help. There were no weapons, no survival books, or vials of poison. Just a handful of loose change and a Canadian five dollar bill, all crinkled up at the very bottom of her back pocket. It wasn’t much, but it would have to do.
Suddenly, she could see the outline of the Duchess’s dog sled looming out of the blinding snow in front of her.
“I’ve got you now, Cassandra Clay!” she heard her exclaim over the sound of the wind, “There is no escape for you now!”
She sighed dramatically as the sled approached. She shrugged her shoulders.
“You’re right, I guess you got me,” she said, pretending to be merely disappointed, instead of terrified.
The Duchess gave a triumphant laugh.
“Such a great and terrifying creature!” she cried, “completely at my mercy!”
Cassandra nodded. “I suppose I am at your mercy,” she agreed, “But isn’t that kind of disappointing?”
“What?” asked the Duchess, a confused expression on her face.
“Well, you know,” Cassandra continued, “it’s been a daring chase this whole time! I ran, you pursued me, all over the world from Albania to Antarctica, only to catch up to me here, where I can’t escape. Isn’t it kind of…anticlimactic?”
The Duchess Serafina Murdock considered her words carefully.
“Yes…”she said slowly “I suppose it kind of is a little disappointing, after all of this...”
With a flourish, Cassandra drew the loose change and the five dollar bill out of her jeans pocket and spread them across the palm of her hand to display them to the Duchess.
“Care for a bet?” she asked, a wide grin splitting her face, “Just to add a bit of excitement to our final confrontation?”
The Duchess’s face lit up with pleasure.
“A splendid idea!” she exclaimed, “What kind of bet do you propose?”
“I bet,” Cassandra responded confidently, “that you can’t possibly solve my riddle. If I win, then you let me walk off of this mountain alive and agree to stop hunting me. If you win, then you can do what you will with me, and I promise that I won’t even try to fight back.”
“You promise?” the Duchess asked, suddenly suspicious.
Cassandra put her hand over her heart and looked as honest as she could.
“I promise,” she said.
“Very well, I accept the bet!” the Duchess said, “Tell me your riddle.”
“I need to whisper it to you,” Cassandra said, walking towards the edge of the mountain, “Come close to me.” She beckoned with her hand.
The Duchess trudged over to her through the deep snow, still looking a little suspicious. Cassandra waited until she was standing very close to her, right by the edge of the cliff. Then she put her face very close to the Duchess’s ear and whispered.
“What starts with a shove and ends with a scream?”
The Duchess looked confused for a long moment. She pondered. She puzzled. She bit her lip in concentration. Finally, she let out a scream of frustration.
“I give up!” she cried, “What’s the answer?”
Cassandra gave her a wicked grin. “I’ll show you,” she said.
Then she used all of her incredible vampire strength and gave the Duchess a hard shove.
Duchess Serafina Murdock tripped, stumbled, and then she tumbled over the edge of a cliff with a blood-curdling scream.
Cassandra giggled. “Told you you’d never guess,” she said to the empty air.
Then she walked back towards the sled, picked up the reins, and sped off into the blinding snow.
