#probation worker

“Great, let me guess you are the new probation worker around here? The big cheese, the head honcho, the… chief, the-“

“I get it, I’m in charge, you must be Nathan.” The permy haired, cheeky grinned young offender took a deep curtsy in the locker room of the community centre. “May I ask where the rest of you are? It was my understanding that there was meant to be a few other people here and if they don’t turn up I end up getting in trouble so unless you want to do the work of five people here’s hoping they turn up.” Nathan finished priming his hair and zipping up his jumpsuit in the mirror.

“They’re probably just late, or I’m just really early. Well technically I’m early here everyday by a long shot, but I don’t think there’s any need to discuss that really. They’ll turn up any minute now I’m sure. Until then though, this is a prime time for us to really get to know each other, as my probation worker I really hope we develop a deep intellectual and spiritual connection that will only blossom as we get to know each other deeper and further.” Nathan was now stood uncomfortably close, you hadn’t noticed him inching forward during his mindless yammering.

“Can I hazard a quick guess about something?” You asked as you pushed Nathan quickly from your personal space. “I just have a pretty good feeling about something.”

“Please, you are a guest in our humble community centre, ask away.”

“Did you piss every other probation worker off to the point that they couldn’t handle it and ran away? Looking at your groups record you’ve gone through them at an extraordinary rate and given the fact that you’re already really getting on my nerves I can see why they would leave. Don’t think that’ll work on me though, I’ve handled worse than you.” Nathan tried his best to hide a slightly nervous smile from spreading on his lips.

“Yeah… we just scared them away, they just could not handle us. We’ve had two already just… run out crying all because we were far too wild for them. You might as well just go now mate, it would be better for everyone involved. You get to keep your sanity, we move onto our next worker. It’s a win-win situation, don’t even worry about the phone call, we’ll put a message through to head office and get it all sorted.”