#probably over thinking

So, here’s a sad thought; We all know that while he won’t admit it, Shouta appreciates everything Hizashi does and feels better with him around. I just wonder if Hizashi knows that and just how much Shouta cares. Or if he wonders to himself if Shouta likes him at all, or if he just puts up with him in memory of Oboro, or out of pity? Think about it; From Hizashi’s point of view, Shouta has been pushing him away since they were 15 (16?). After Oboro died it’s hinted that Shouta didn’t hang out with Hizashi anymore, instead opting to train. Hizashi tried to be there and support him, but was kept at a distance. Then--if the wiki’s correct--after they graduate Shouta and Hizashi lost contact for a while. Even now that they’re adults in their 30s Hizashi’s attempts to hang out or connect is brushed off. Most of their interactions are always initiated by Hizashi, who’s immediately told to leave (tsundere Aizawa). Then whenever Hizashi tries to talk about his feelings, he's quickly shut down. This is especially sad because Hizashi was just as close to Oboro as Shouta (hell, maybe a little closer since they shared the same brain cell). Not to mention his quirk was used to help kill him (yes, I know the laser is the one that did it, but Garvey also used Mic’s quirk to attack). And the cherry on top? Hizashi was the one who reached out and brought Shouta into their group in the first place. Yet without Oboro around, Shouta seems to want nothing to do with him. Don’t get me wrong, I know that Shouta cares deeply about Mic. I also realize that none of his actions are done in malice. Shouta doesn’t see the rationality in getting drunk and dealing with a hangover the next day and he has food drinks all day, so it’s only logical to get some rest during lunch. He doesn’t seem to realize that those events are mostly just about having some there and connecting. Speaking of emotions; I know that the reason Shouta doesn’t want to talk about some things is that he’s suffering too. Hell, he’s probably suffering more considering he was there when Oboro died. And in the spoiler chapter, he’s in pirate condition on top of the sad thing. He doesn’t want to deal with those emotions and would rather bury them and focus on other things. To be fair though, once in a while Shouta will realize the Mic needs emotional support too, as he does reach out to Mic after they discovered what happened to Oboro. Hell, the whole reason he went on the hospital raid was that Hizashi was going. This post is absolutely NOT me dunking on Shouta or calling him a bad friend. Shouta is a great friend. It’s just that I wonder if Hizashi ever gets anxious. If he ever wonders if Shouta really is annoyed by him. And the worst part? Now that Spoiler is gone I don’t think Mic has anyone to talk to anymore. About his insecurities—or any of his feelings. Before Spoiler was there to offer support to them both, but now… We know Hizashi will be there for Aizawa as he always has, but who’s going to be there for him? Shouta is already shutting down and clamming up like he did last time, so there’s a good chance history might repeat itself. Or maybe I’m looking for angst where there isn’t any. I’m sure Hizashi knows that this is just how Shouta is and doesn’t take the rejections to heart. But still, I wonder.

Thinking about some interactions I've had recently I think I missed a TON of hints and like social ques again 😫

No one would blame me for being so alone It won't matter, cause I'd still feel cold The darkening silence still haunts me Every night I feel it drag me 6 feet down

Ever feel annoying when you want to just be there for someone.