#prior.hc

so sara and i were talking aaaaaannnddd… these happened. we apologize for nothing.

co-written with the lovely @turtleneckrichie !!!! go follow her right now you fools

hcs about Eddie’s journey with last names <3

Okay but hear me out

Richie and Eddie end up accidentally moving in together

Like Richie gets his own place ASAP bc this boy loves to be independent.

He’s so excited to have his own house but tbh he’s a slob!!!!

Eddie is always over bc “RICHIE U HAVENT DONE DISHES IN A MONTH”

“Eds it’s only been four days”

“YOU USE THAT MANY BOWLS IN FOUR DAYS”

Eventually Eddie just ends up sleeping over? all the time? cause Richie is so bad at adulting?

Eds has a permanent parking spot in the driveway

Yeah Richie isn’t complaining bc that’s his boy

At first they aren’t together

But u can’t just… be pals when ur constantly cleanin house together

Trust me it takes a special kind of love to scrub toilets as a team

Yeah so all the losers kinda just accept that they’re together bc… they’re meant to be

K so like they go on dates but they don’t call them dates per say

“Just 2 bros hangin out at a fancy restaurant (three tables apart cause they’re NOT GAY)”

“Rich stop”

Eventually they accept it and Eds asks Richie out officially

Cause Richie is still in denial like he loves this boy? How did he not know? WOW HIS EYES ARE SO BEAUTIFUL okay seriously how did he not realize

Eddie is beyond happy bc like they have their own place? And they’re boyfriends?

Bc as soon as they start datin Eddie is like boy BYE and ditches his mom’s place!!!

(Richie is hella thankful for him getting away from his mom)

(And Eddie’s general attitude/vibes perk up so much bc he’s not!!! In a toxic environment anymore!!!)

SO NOW IT’S BEEN MONTHS AND THEY’RE SERIOUS

Like, they make plans based on each other’s schedules bc they wanna hang out all! the! time!

“Sorry Stanley I’m hanging out with Eds on that day”

“Richie that day is THREE WEEKS AWAY”

Eddie high key always makes arrangements for things for the two of them

Like this boy is 100% the guy who uses “we” when answering questions

“Eddie, you wanna go to the movies with us?”

“We’d love to Mike!!!”

“I- okay. Yeah. Shoulda known.”

So it’s super late n they’re snuggling in bed, bein all lovey and stuff

And Eddie decides that he’s gonna stop using his last name

“Rich, I think I wanna change my last name.”

“To Tozier, I hope?”

“Why are you like this”

“Yeah but seriously if you wanna do that then go for it babe!!”

(Eddie lowkey already made an email account w/ Tozier as his last name just to try it. He liked it a lot indeed)

Richie is so supportive like Eds is pretty much completely in love w him at this point

Even when Eddie tried to take up scrapbooking.

“Literally no one likes scrapbooking why are you even doing this”

“Richie stop it, let me focus”

“Can I put glitter glue all over your face?”

“Richie no you’re an adult”

He most certainly signs his book (with glitter glue, at Richie’s request) as E.T. bc those are his initials now

And YES Richie makes so many jokes about it

“You know babe, your initials are E.T. now”

“Richie it’s three in the morning go to bed”

“ET PHONE HOME”

“RICHARD go to SLEEP”

Eventually Eddie’s driver’s license expires and it’s time for him to visit the DMV

Yes, he definitely signs his renewed license as Eddie Tozier

“Wait, Eds, have you had your name legally changed yet??”

“No?????”

“Then… isn’t that identity fraud??”

“Hey Tozier, why don’t you shut up and don’t get me arrested. Just say we’re married”

“Okay… Tozier (:< ” *HEART EYES INTENSIFY*

Eddie doesn’t mention it but suddenly everything in his life is Tozier Tozier Tozier!!!

He even orders his magazine subscriptions w/ Richie’s last name

“Babe did you subscribe to… Ryan Gosling Source Weekly??”

“SWEET MY MAGAZINES ARE HERE!”

“You… used my name to get magazines of ur celeb crush…”

“Ya and I used ur credit card so watch out for that on the bill”

Richie is still whipped™

So he’s like “well what would Eds want for our one year anniversary?”

And he gets AN IDEA

He’s like “ok let’s change Eddie Spaghetti’s last name legally” bc he actually wants him to be a Tozier!!

So Rich does all that legal stuff just for his Eds to have his last name be Tozier!

And when their one year is comin up Richie just puts the certificate in a lil box w some cute blue wrapping paper and has Eddie open it

Eds is like on the brink of tears he loves his boy? So much?

Yeah and later on they go on a nice dinner date and surprise surprise!

Richie gets down on one knee and Eds immediately is shook

Cue confused and a lil bit sad Richie

“BAbe i’m literally proposing what ru doin”

Eds WHIPS a little box out of his pocket and shoves it in his face

“I WAS GONNA PROPOSE TO YOU”

Everyone in the restaurant is laughing. So. Hard.

Like the whole freaking wait staff is just like “christ these two, whatta mess”

So they’re a mess and Richie puts the ring away so Eds can propose bc HE WANTS TO SO BAD

“Richie Tozier, we may already have the same last name but like, I can’t get enough of you so please marry me.”

“Yes of course I’m gonna marry you, Eds! I won’t let a bod like yours get away so easily”

“Richie literally I just proposed can you just,, not for like,, one moment please and put on the ring”

Richie demands his Own Proposal bc he wants to say he was the one that proposed

“Just think of it Eds… when my aunt asks us who popped the question we can both say “i did” and not be lying! It’ll be the perfect way to confuse my family!”

“Richie we just.. Got engaged u don’t have to do it a second time”

“EDDIE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LET MEEE”

Richie 100% does the whole friken… stands on a chair clinkin a glass

“I HAVE A DECLARATION TO MAKE”

“We all just saw you guys get engaged….”

“NO U DIDNT NOW STOP INTERRUPTING”

Eddie has never rolled his eyes harder

“Eddie Tozier… will u be my Eddie Tozier…. But like for reals now??”

Eddie is just that “I GUESS” meme

Yeah the whole restaurant claps, again

(Cause Richie demanded that they all clap for them again)

Eddie is blushin hardcore bc his boy is so extra?? How is he so lucky???

Richie makes a Big Show of putting the ring on him

He just somehow… does… like no one understands how bc it’s just a ring??

But like… he is so graceful abt it and its such a Soft gesture

Eddie feels like a fool bc he’s fumblin so much n almost drops his??

for @gazeboseddie <3

join my 100 celebration!!!

- okay but idk if it’s just me

- but do y’all ever get the feel that stan & bill don’t gradually make aesthetic changes

- like stan becomes punk overnight

- and bill goes on one (1) family trip to hawaii and comes home ready to turn his whole wardrobe pink and flowery

- they come to school the next day, saying fuck it and going all out and double take when they see each other

- “you know s-s-stan, i really w-wasn’t expecting you to like denim th-that much”

- “it’s my style now william”

- the older they get the more finesse they find in their respective styles

- like at first bill was a bit too neon with his color choices and now he hurts people’s eyes less

- stan gets rid of his terrible seventh grade fauxhawk

- they each have had subtle influences on each other’s accessories 

- stan has a lot of flowery/light colored patches on his Cool Punk Jackets that bill has bought him over the years bc he knows his boy loves patches

- bill may or may not have gotten an ear piercing w/ stan so he wouldn’t be alone 

- stan absolutely loves taking bill to punk shows bc everyone there is like “excuse me whos the hot flower boy” and stan’s just 

- “my man that’s who”

- bill has about 400 polaroids of stan with flowers in his hair that bill 100% puts there every damn time they go outside

- helping each other decorate their rooms???? in the color scemes they want?????

- painting bills room soft blue???????

- everyone assumes bill wouldn’t love stans taste in music bc its so?? dark?? 

- but bill goes hard to thrash metal

- like bill is So Into It

- stan SWOONS when he sees his man moshing with the best of them

for @wyattghouleff <3

join my 100 celebration!!!

- is it just me or is richie totally the kind of bf to go vegetarian for someone???

- “sorry bill i can’t eat that hot dog”

- “w-why? you used t-to eat them all the time”

- “last week mike casually mentioned he’s vegetarian so now i won’t eat meat for the rest of my whole damn life”

- mike absolutely loves richies energy

- life on the farm is calm and easy and nice but.... richie is exciting

- like they are Exploring boyfriends all the way

- mike just loves having someone that takes him out of his comfort zone and gives him a reason to expand his horizons

- mike & richie taking down the racists left & right

- richie being at every civil rights event mike attends right next to him with all the losers in tow

- making???? music????? together??????

- mike has the voice of an ANGEL and richie just MELTS

- richie always making up little songs on his guitar and mike gets them stuck in his head, humming them all the time

- “aw babe, ur singing my song”

- “its not a song if its fifteen seconds with no words richie”

- they love biking together on the same bike 

- richie loves to help on the farm with mike, esp when he doesn’t wanna be at home 

- u would think richie Hates “boring” things like farming but he loves to just get out in the fields and hyperfocus, its so calming

for @kaspdrak <3 

join my 100 celebration!!!

- gonna say this right out the gates bc when its not acknowledged.... im angry

- stan celebrates Hanukkah and the other losers all give him extra presents for it

-  also they love to hear abt hanukkah traditions from stan?? like some of their early days in december are spent sitting around stan’s fireplace drinking cider and listening to him just.. explain the whole holiday & its history 

- stan is very very proud of his heritage and loves that his friends are super respectful and don’t force alternate customs on him (but he most certainly gives them all presents bc he LOVES HIS FRIENDS)

- the losers always have a post-christmas party where they exchange gifts bc they’re all stuck with their families on the actual holidays

- but pre-holidays??? early december??? first snow??? these kids are unstoppable

- im talkin snow men, im talkin sledding down main street, im talkin christmas light competitions

- richie and bill may or may not have blocked off an entire coldesac to build forts for their epic five hour snowball fight

- eddie is obsessed with having the best decorations. this motherfucker will kill to have the best lights on the block

- him and mike team up bc mike is super fast & organized as he staples lights on the roof how?? 

- mike’s family doesn’t really like decorating but they are all for mike helping the others out (and his grandpa actually has a great time when mike takes him on a tour of all the loser’s houses he helped decorate)

- the loser’s driving around in ben’s mom’s car touring christmas lights that are set to radio stations

- eddie’s mom is adamant he Will Get Hypothermia so she bundles him in so many layers he looks like the little brother from christmas story

- which richie talks about for months

- the losers watching christmas story in bills living room 

- “you know im really glad we don’t believe in santa. this guy is fucking creepy”

- “you’re just jealous”

- “jealous of what richie? i get more presents on more days and there aren’t fat angry strangers breaking into my house”

- ben burns everyone mix cds for their presents with songs he thinks they will love

- he has impeccable taste and everyone thinks their mix cds are the bomb

- beverly is the QUEEN of winter fashion

- truly the master of ugly christmas sweaters

- her only competition? eddie, who wears them not to be ironic but because mrs. k makes him

- richie does not know how to dress for the season and is always this close to frostbite & doesn’t even notice

- like this bitch still wears his ratty ass converse in two feet of snow

- bev loves to make everyone pancakes in the mornings after sleepovers, and during christmas time she starts making festive shapes

- ben gets really hype and starts giving her new ideas, like mixing in red and green food coloring

- bill’s bike gets fucked up in the snow quite a few times which gives mike a good excuse to stay over and help fix silver and also hang out with his best fucking friend

- their post-christmas parties are always when parents are out doing after-christmas shopping and last minute family visits so they’re usually unattended

- when they’re seniors richie brings spiked egg nog and they all get trashed in bill’s garage

- christmas crackers with the paper crowns inside (don’t think about how cute richie thinks eddie is in his paper crown)

- everyone gets each other presents bc what kind of friends don’t get each and every one of their pals a damn present

- some of them can’t really afford to go out and buy too many things, but they all regift well (bill’s extended family don’t know him too well so they usually give him random crap, but sometimes he gets something that he thinks his friend will love and saves it for their party)

- bev makes handmade jewelry for the boys every year (they’re all decked out in woven bracelets that will last till they die)

- we’ve already talked about bens cds but i just wanna mention them again bc ben makes the best cds fight me

- mike usually puts together a basket of homemade things from the farm for each of them (bread he baked, jam his grandmother made, wool socks)

- eddie usually gets to shop with his allowance so he gets them each something practical but special

- richie usually doesn’t have any money to get gifts with but he always makes sure to make them all super heartfelt & hilarious cards (which include horrible puns, terrible drawings, and sappy as hell love notes) 

- bill usually regifts or buys them nice things he finds at the mall. honestly psychic with gifts. inventor of the phrase “i saw this and thought of you”

- stan always gets them books. the first party they had he had no idea what to get them because he didn’t know everyone perfectly, so he gave them all old books from his library. they actually played well so every year since he scours used book stores year round to find the perfect book to give

- sometimes they’re joke books (he once gave richie an entire yiddish dictionary because he was being a dick about potato pancakes. richie still uses it regularly)

- speaking of joke gifts, you bet these mother fuckers do a white elephant every year

- bill usually plays nice and puts a good present in, knowing everyone else is going to be savage as fuck

- ben is sometimes kind with his too, putting in something benign like a five dollar bill in a really oversized box. sure it’s a dick to open, but at least he didn’t put underwear in it like richie did one year

- bev and richie are the meanest when it comes to white elephant presents

- like whoever goes the first few rounds avoids the packages richie and bev put in like the plague

- eddie tries to be devious but is actually really bad at coming up with clever shitty presents 

- mike and stan are the kings of putting in the most random crap

- like honestly stan just saves weird shit from his room purges and uses that to confuse the rest of the group

- mike is always a really good sport about getting the crappy presents

- eddie is not

- especially if he gets stuck with whatever richie put in

- “RICHIE I SWEAR TO GOD IF I GET STUCK WITH YOUR USED DEODORANT AGAIN THIS YEAR-”

- “eds, you can’t get gifted something you already have! it’s my toothbrush this time!”

- “e-e-eddie! quit throwing sh-shoes in my house!!”

- ben and bev falling asleep on bills couch at the end of the night in coordinating christmas sweaters bev found

- each of the couples getting each other a small extra present bc they’re in Love

- all of them feeling bad about mike being ‘left out’ so they get him something too

-so mike ends up with dozens of presents at the end of the night and extreme confusion

-but man is he feeling the love

- richie having mistletoe on a stick and holding it over eddies head about every fifteen minutes

- “oh shit eds! we’re under it again! how does this keep happening?!”

- “richie. you’re controlling it.”

- “oh no im sorry i cant hear you over the sound of me being compelled by this unbreakable christmas law”

-”riCHARD”

- bill warning all his friends to avoid his mothers terrible fruitcake

- stan eating it and loving it anyways

- “y-you can eat her f-f-fruitcake without barfing? i kn-knew we were meant to b-b-be”

for @richiefreakingtozier <3

join my 100 celebration!!!!

- okay listen i wanna say this RIGHT NOW that bill and richie are SUCH a good friend pair???

- like these boys have been legit tight as fuck from elementary school on up

- when bill gets his first gaming system (atari? u fuckin bet!) richie is his #1 competitor

- these two up for HOURS in bills room playing video games? both of them absolute fucking champs at pong???? 

- bike. races.

- for real tho bill and richie, always with the friendly competitions! best of three games, arm wrestling/rock paper scissors over all decisions, racing to ends of blocks/the quarry, lugie contests were def started by these two

- staying up late talking about boys

- like these two are both reeeaaaaaaaal sappy at three am 

- sleepovers in bills backyard w/ sleeping bags & tent (or no tent during beautiful summer nights!!!!) 

- richie LOVES to hear new stories bill is thinking up

- bc bitch u know this writer boy would make up short stories all the time when he was young

- bill tells his stories at losers club campfires and richie acts them out/jumpscares the group on cue

- seriously u know for a Fact bill and richie will rehearse bill’s stories in his room in preparation and richie does all the voices and knows his lines by heart by the weekend

- richie helping bill with his stutter?? 

- seriously

- bill has sayings he memorizes and repeats to help his speech, richie invents new ones and comes up with ways to help him work through variance 

- “okay bill now do it in a british accent” 

- “now say it fASTER” 

- “QUICK BILL TEN TONGUE TWISTERS OR UR GROUNDED” 

- ”richie you can’t ground me”

- ben is always running into these two at the library bc they are Responsible and they STudy????

- bill is the most tolerant in the group of richies fidgeting

- like he never goes “oh my god stop bouncing your leg” or “richie stop clicking your pen!!!” he just calmly offers a quieter solution

- bill teaching richie origami to help him regain focus & quiet his nerves

- richie getting bill into all kinds of good music