The Humble Beginnings of Printer Boy.
The year is 2005.
It’s a Wednesday, mid-October.
Connor Murphy, Jared Kleinman, and Evan Hansen are all sitting in Mrs. G’s second grade class, among roughly 25 other small human beings.
Mrs. G was one of those teachers that you either loved, or you hated. Mrs. G would never call on a raised hand, but instead the child she felt was paying the least amount of attention.
Jared Kleinman loved Mrs. G. Jared never paid attention, and Jared was not one to pass up the opportunity to make a fart joke every. Single. Time. She. Called. On. Him. She never learned.
Connor hated Mrs. G. She always made him participate when he didn’t want to, but never let him when he wanted to.
Evan Hansen tried not to hate Mrs. G, but she really made his life hard. He didn’t want to be put on the spot. He wanted to blend in, and just learn. He was always paying attention, but he just avoided eye contact when she asked questions, and never could get the answer out properly when she called on him.
The time is 11:07. Almost time for lunch.
“Time to line up for lunch!” Rang out Mrs. G’s voice.
Connor shot up out of his seat and ran to the front of the line. He was finally first. He had never been first before. This was his moment of glory.
“Connor, you know it’s Lily’s day as line leader” Mrs. G scolded the small child that was Connor Murphy.
“But Mrs. G, I was here first, so I should be line leader. The first person should be first.” Connor explained.
“Those aren’t the rules Connor, now you need to go to the back of the line”
Connor is now distressed. He was first. He should be first. Why should he be last? Even if Lily gets to be line leader, he should be second in command. He was here first.
Tears start to fall from Connor’s eyes. This can’t be happening. The one time Connor is first, he suddenly becomes last again. This can’t be fair.
Connor sulked to the back of the line. Tears still streaming down his face.
The class bully Dakota turned to him and laughed. “What a baby. It’s just a stupid line” Connor wiped his face and tried to ignore the bully.
“Let’s go class! Hands on your hips and fingers on your lips!” Mrs. G began leading the line down the hall. The class paused for a moment, to allow another class to pass down the opposite hall.
Connor felt suddenly drawn to the teachers lounge as the walked past. He wondered in, and there before him sat the most glorious thing he had ever beheld.
The teacher’s printer.
Connor, still filled with despair, now felt suddenly rage. He stomped over to the printer and attempted to lift it off the ground. He was surprised when it lifted with ease.
He then marched the printer out of the teacher’s lounge and yelled
“Mrs. G, next time, let me be the line leader!” And threw the printer down the hall, barely missing Mrs. G’s face.
The whole class started screaming, and the very scared Evan Hansen ran for cover. Jared Kleinman could be heard screaming
“THAT WAS AWESOME!!”
Connor was proud of what he had accomplished, until he saw Mrs. G’s face and knew he was in deep trouble.
The year is 2005.
It’s a Wednesday, mid-October.
The time is 11:36.
Connor is missing lunch. Connor Murphy is sitting in the principal’s office. Accompanied only by a disbelieving Principal and a distraught Mrs. G.
“He threw a PRINTER AT ME!!” Mrs. G yelled.
“I’m just not seeing how this very small lad here could have possibly lifted such a printer, Mrs. G. It is just not possible.” Said the principal, whom I am too lazy to name.
“Then explain the broken printer in the middle of the hallway”
“I can’t. There simply is no explanation for what has happened here today.“
"You’ve got to do something about this!” Mrs. G shrieked
“No, I don’t, but you do need to calm yourself. Connor, you need to go get yourself some lunch. Here’s a pass” the principal stated as he wrote a note to the lunch attendant stating that Connor can get his lunch, and take his time eating it.
The year is 2005.
It’s a Wednesday, mid-October.
The time is 12:17.
Connor walks back into class, where everyone has already started their reading for the afternoon. Mrs. G is glaring at him.
Some kids look afraid, some look impressed.
Connor says nothing. He just takes out The Little Prince and begins reading.
To be continued…
