#princestar

It's pretty much canon that Severus has scars on his back. I'm sure that they're not super violent or prominent, but they're definitely visible. Before he ever took his shirt off, there was definitely a warning he gave.

Severus was a spy for years, he was a teacher, he was bullied pretty violently, and he had Tobias as a father, he is absolutely riddled with chronic pain. He wants to feel useful, absolutely, so he'll try to push past it, but Sirius notices, so he'll tell him to go back to bed, lay down, to not do anything for today. On days where it's too bad for him to get out of bed, neither does Sirius. Of course they bicker, but not on those days, on those days it's just hugs and kisses.

Sirius totally gives the vibes that he doesn't believe in aftercare of any sort. He's forever grateful that he got rid of that habit before he started dating him because if not, though he feels pretty bad for the girls and boys he didn't do that for.

I've said that Severus is riddled with nightmares before, but Sirius totally wakes up every time. It's like a sixth sense. "What happened?" "Nothing." But he sees the clenched jaw, the darting eyes, glancing at the door as if he's expecting his dad to come in, yelling and slurring his words. Maybe he's expecting Voldemort himself to come in, murder them. Maybe his mother comes in sobbing again about how she couldn't protect him, or it's Lilly's dead body, it's James shouting that stupid spell 'levicorpus', it doesn't matter. He's expecting a threat and Sirius knows it. He sees his pale knuckles whitening from his grip on the sheets, as if clinging to reality, the shaky breaths, harsh swallows, nostrils flaring. It's all so many small signs, but even in his sleepy state, he notices them. "Alright then, don't tell me, that's fine. Think you're gonna come back to bed?" "No." His voice cracks from the pressure of holding back tears, or maybe screams, even vomit. "Would you like a hug?" It's always a silent, small nod, but it's always there. Small sniffles and stifled cries usually follow. (This is low-key just turning into a drabble moreso than a Whump headcanon) and he always knows if this fear was his fault or not. "Shit, sorry, I shouldn't— I'm Sniveli—" "Don't apologize, and don't say that about yourself." It's an unusual tone. Usual bickering is something neither would dare to do to shatter this moment, to ruin Severus' rare vulnerability. Sirius' chest throbs at the thought that he helped nail that idea into Severus, that it stuck around for so long, that no matter how hard he tries to deny it, it affects him, their relationship, all of it. "Do you want to talk about it?" Small, silent, again, a shake of the head against his chest, accompanied by small sniffs and hiccups. "I don't think I can." His voice cracks from the cries ripping from him, breaking and stumbling. Sirius doesn't push it. He knows Severus doesn't want to, knows it won't help. "Alright then." His fingers card through the hair he once called disgusting, pressing soft kisses and caresses against the face he and his friends bloodied.