#princessgame

>Everything about this freak is setting off red flags. You cannot stay here. You have to get away. Hurt them if necessary. Their hair. Their mask. Their weird clothes. What the fuck is this thing. This thing is scary. You don't like i- Did this motherfucker just change color??

JESTER: hey

>You may need to fight this freak. It's occurring to you that you should try to kill this thing for some reason.

[SELF-INTERESTED: You have minions. Send out your minions to dispatch it.]

>You contemplate the effectiveness of your minions. Only one of them seems of any use. Plus, you would never put FRED in danger. You love FRED.

>Yeah, no.

>Maybe violence isn't the answer here. You're good at this sort of thing. You can handle it. Just walk on by and act like everythings A-OK. Nothing to worry about here.

[PERSUASIVE: You got this. She has no clue you're an intruder. You can deal with this no problem.]

[COOL - IMPOSSIBLE: PASS]

>You stroll on by like it's nobody's business.

>Why the fuck is this freak following you.

JESTER: Honestly I Kinda Dig Your Vibe

YOU: what

JESTER: Honestly You're Kinda Cool But Like. Not In A Sex Way

JESTER: Like I Don't Wanna Hit

JESTER: I Respect You Though

YOU: what???

JESTER: We're Friends Now

JESTER: I'm Gonna Start Following You Everywhere Now!!!!!

YOU: please don't

[JESTER joined the PARTY]

>Well. This fucks up all your plans. What the fuck are you supposed to do???

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.sogamerunworld.superprincessadventurego

Super Princess Go Jungle World

>You are a princess in a castle. You are tired and you are bored. You are currently in your tower, and no one else is around. What do you do next

>You are standing in a large hallway you've never seen before. Frankly, you hadn't seen much of this castle at all before you got Falsely Imprisoned, but still.

[MATERIALISTIC: Keep going. Theres so much STUFF you could have.... You should take stuff]

[MA- NO, CLEVER THINKING: If you wore that knight's armor you could get away with a Lot. Just saying]

[SELF-LOVE: they'll probably lock you up again if they catch you. do it anyways. who cares if they care. this world is Your domain.]

>There are many possibilities. You-

>Oh fuck. Your ANACHRONISTIC ORB DEVICE. You see an incoming call from dispshitfuckr420. It is unclear whether you named her that or she did. The worst possible time, too. If you don't answer, she'll make your life hell.

MYSTERIOUS STRANGER: heyyyyyy f$&@%t, what's up LOL

YOU: what. i'm on the job right now

??????: aw cmon you can make time to talk to me. i am only Your Employer after all fuckface

YOU: okay. my bad

BOSS: LOL its okay i dont give a shit. hows the job treating you baby. long time no see sexy stuff

YOU: don't talk to me like that. it's gross and unwarranted. sorry, i couldn't exactly orb you from within a dungeon.

BOSS: [suddenly very frantic] you got CAUGHT?! you- you didn't tell them about me, did you?!

YOU: no, why would i. i'm a professional

BOSS: oh phew okay then i dont give a shit lol. i will be adding to your debt however for fucking up like a dumbass and getting fucking caught LMAOOO

[DEBT INCREASED]

YOU: come on. that is not necessary

BOSS: uh huh. have you tried being better at your job

YOU: maybe if someone had trained me better.

BOSS: LOL i'm a contemptable scoundrel. I'm a piece of shit, dipshit. I'm literally some form of dastardly malcontent, r$#*&d. I'm The Bad Guy. Why would i train you

YOU: i guess thats a fair point.

BOSS: yeah you fucking bet it is loser get me some fucking treasure or youre gonna be literally fucking swimming in negative dollars from how much debt you owe me. Like some reverse scrooge mc duck shit. Like yr gonna be diving into a huge ass empty pool of nothing and hitting your head and bleeding every where and fucking Dying girl. Except it wont even be nothing. Itll be filled with the absence of money. Therell be like a single sad ass gold piece to remind you that this could be filled with gold but isnt cus u fucking suck. thats how bad its gonna get. literally the abstract concept of debt will be made literal from how bad im gonna fuck you up. like its serious as fuckk

YOU: okay whatever. bye

>Well that fucking sucked. It has literally never not sucked with her. God she is the absolute worst.

[SELF-INTERESTED: you would honestly be happier if she died. Itd be dope if she was dead]

[MACHINATIONS: You could always fake your death. No debt if you're dead]

[MATERIALISTIC: No ITEMS either. Do you really wanna go without STUFF?]

>Much to consider- wait, who's that?!

>....who the fuck is this clown???

>You pull your trusted companion out from your pocket, fully expecting her to be terrified or to run, but instead she sits on your paw with a soft smile on her face. The sight makes you feel a bit better about yourself. She does look really.. tasty... Anyways.

[+1 SELF-ESTEEM]

>You then consider putting it in your mouth and violently tearing until all that remains is blood and viscera. Yuuuuuup. You like that. You won't do it, of course, but you like that, definitely

[+2 AROUSAL: FAILED! AROUSAL already MAX!]

>Kitchen it is. When have you ever done anything on an empty stomach? You need to build your strength somehow. You inform the knight where she must take you and let her lead the way, big dragon smile on your face. You're actually having a pretty good night, aren't you?

YOU: babeee lets go to the kitchennnnnn

KNIGHT: S-So you won't.. eat.. me.. tthen?

YOU: Ummmmm Idk lawl

YOU: Hey do u wanna get wasted girlie

KNIGHT: I- What?? No- That's... not our alco-

YOU: girl. lets get wasted.

KNIGHT: ...

[+2 SELF-ESTEEM]

>Yuuuuuuuuuuup. You're getting wasted. This is gonna be aweeeeesoooooommeeeeee.

>You finally made it to the KITCHEN. Your tummy will not stop growling. It is time to [EAT] and [GET WASTED]. You politely inform your prisoner of her newfound duties.

YOU: heyyy so like hahaha so like you think im cute right? so like right?

KNIGHT: u-um.. y.. yes...

YOU: awww haha youre like sooo sweet hahaha so umm can U make me a sandwich :3

KNIGHT: h.. huh..

YOU: im reaaaaaalllyy hungry and i dont even know how to do it myself which is REALLYYY sad :<

KNIGHT: W-Well.. I suppose if you are unable t-to perform the task y.. yourself..

YOU: OMG omg ur so sweet wtf!!! omg thaaaaank u omg omg omg hahaha wtf this is so awesome haha. Ur really nice for this lol. Do u wanma be my girlfriend

KNIGHT: You- Y-You just tried to eat me!!!

YOU: ya

KNIGHT: ......

YOU: do u wanna go out with me

KNIGHT: O-OKAY!!!! FINE!!!!!!! IADMIT IT!!!! PPlease just don't be mad at me,

YOU: omg ur seriously the cutest thing ever LOL i like you :33

>You tie the leash around your new girlfriend's neck. Yes. You've already decided she will be useful. This will prove very fortitious in the coming days. You are quite the skilled manipulator, aren't you?

[NARCISSISTIC: Nice work. You totally did the runaround on her. +4 SELF-ESTEEM.]

YOU: You're gonna be really funnn aren't u hehehehe

KNIGHT: UUMM. UM. UHH.

>Sniff sniff.. You pause while sniffing her neck.. That smell... Is that pee?? Hahahaha awwwwwh oh my god thats adorabe lol. You like this. You're going to have fun with her.

KNIGHT: Um. UM. It's n-not what it smells like.

>Sure it is.

[GIRLFRIEND joined the PARTY]