#prewintersoldier

Mkay so this is probably gonna suck just warning you Pairing: reader x Bucky Barnes (pre winter soldier) Warning: language (maybe), sad stuff, mental illnesses like PTSD and anxiety and depression

You were sitting on your couch, pulling at the thread on your skirt. It was about time for you to be picked up by Bucky, he was taking you out for a night of dancing before he left for the war. All you wanted was for him to stay, but he signed up. He was such an idiot for doing that. Your father had been in World War I and he came home with terrible stories about what happened at war. He currently suffered from PTSD, anxiety, depression, and he had slight shell shock. He wasn’t your father anymore and you were scared of that happening to Bucky. Bucky had always been your rock, throughout your whole life. He was always there, your best friend. A best friend you may or may not secretly love. You would do anything for him, and Steve. Steve and you were pretty close as well, but not like you and Bucky. You and Bucky were something different entirely. Something special. You heard a knock on your door and stood up, seeing Bucky out there all dressed up in his Sargent uniform. You almost broke down into tears right then and there, but you held up, ready for the night. He slung his arm around you and hugged you tightly. “Hey y/n, ready?” You nodded and plastered a smile on your face. The two of you walked to get Steve and one of your friends that was his date for the night. After picking them up, you walked to the Stark Expo. You noticed Steve leave the group quickly and knew where he was going, to the registration office just behind them. Sighing, you stayed back with your friend and let Bucky handle it. Your friend grew impatient and called Bucky back, who walked back without Steve. You hoped the Steve would stay behind, with you, but you knew it was just a fantasy. He would find a way to be in the war, no matter what. Bucky came back and took you two out to the club to dance a bit, taking turns. Eventually, you sat down and thought about everything that could go wrong. It freaked you out and you felt tears slipping out of your eyes. Bucky saw you crying a bit and dragged you and your friend out, walking her home and he brought you to his and Steve’s apartment. “Y/n, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Looking into his eyes, you started full out sobbing and walked over to his couch, sitting down. You put your head in your hands. He sat down next up you and wrapped you up in his arms. “Don’t go Buck.” Your voice cracked and he kissed the top of your head. “Hey hey hey, it’ll be okay. I’m gonna come back. I promise. You will see me again, I promise.” You shook your head and held onto him tighter. You’d never let him go. He pulled away and took your face into his hands. “Why don’t you believe me y/n?” “My dad, what if you end up like him?!” “I won’t, I’m coming back alright?” You shook your head again and breathed in and out heavily, soon hyperventilating. This resulted in a full blown panic attack. Not know what to do, Bucky kissed you. It calmed you down quickly, but he didn’t pull away. Eventually you separated for breath, but he slammed his lips back on yours, pulling you to his bed. You gladly consented and let him have you.