#press hate

The Windsor Inc special sounds really interesting. It reminds me of the one done on the relationship between the royals and the press. Pretty sure you can still find it on youtube. It was basically a warning to the younger royals from the press. This feels like a continuation of that. Will and Harry have a hatred of the press and constantly try to cut them out. They naively believe that they can…

EARLY December, London.

We're sitting in the back of one of Sony's fleet of Mercedes limousines moving sluggishly through the debris of Kings Cross.  Richie's passing his time watching the girls turn tricks and Nicky, decked in spectacular winter furs, is wondering what the Melody Maker's Album Of The Year might be.

Primal Scream.

"Why?" asks Nicky, his eyes gleaming with sadistic curiosity.

We explain, in the pompous way critics sometimes do, that Primal Scream have introduced the dance dynamics of rave culture to the spectacle of rock and are hence the only band in Britain who could truly be described as contemporary.

"Oh f*** off!" snaps Richie, momentarily distracted from his rude perusal, evidently judging our, we'll admit, somewhat bombastic statements to be even more obscene than the sorry sight of kerbcrawlers.

"Primal Scream are complete failures," he continues, "Since 'Loaded' and 'Come Together' they haven't had a real Top 40 hit.  'Higher Than The Sun', lauded by every critic, just scraped it and I really think that song was completely and totally designed to get a Melody Maker front cover.  Primal Scream have changed too many times.  I saw them at Cardiff Mars Bar club in 1986 and they were indie pop.  On the back of the second album they were trying to be Guns N' Roses, all long flowing locks and Marshall stacks.  We've got an honesty thing about us.  Everyone who likes us knows what we could become, they know we could never sell out."

Nicky, who's patiently waited his turn, now joins in the chorus of disapproval.

"Primal Scream are just fake rock 'n' roll.  If Bobby Gillespie thinks he's gonna get people into Sun Ra or John Coltrane he's sorely misguided because the only people who buy Primal Scream records are people who like indie music anyway.  Primal Scream will never cross over, they have no chance of conquering America.  They haven't got a chance of doing anything, they're just too fake.  It's just a big con.  I think what's happened is that Bobby Gillespie has just told the press he's so good so many times they've started to believe him.  But all his records have been total crap - everyone's agreed on that."

FUNNIEST BAND MEMBER:

Richey Edwards, the Doomed Beauty, talks sex with Select magazine, 1994.

WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THOSE WHO REMAIN UNCONVINCED BY YOUR FANCY-DRESS CLASH-RHETORIC SLOGANEERING MEDIA PROSTITUTION?