Insults, Inquiries, and Provocations Muttered at Inanimate Objects, Morning Edition
- 'what are you about?' -- hotel room telephone, upon its ringing
- 'no kidding' -- phone alarm clock, upon its initial going off
- 'really? really?' -- phone, upon its alarm clock going off again
- 'great. do this. awesome.' -- phone, in response to its refusal to be found under some pillows and blankets as its alarm continued to go off
- 'liar' -- breakfast, upon its early arrival
- 'stop. please stop. please stop.' -- the television, upon its being turned on and emanating the horrible mouth sounds of hilary swank as amelia earhart
- 'thank you. yes. thank god.' -- the television, upon its being turned to ESPN and displaying a reel of the top ten moments from mlb opening day
