#pre rev

They’re not exactly new to kisses, this young pair.Kisses have been a currency of appreciation and affection between them for over a year. As a bise, or on the hand, even before talk of love was on their lips. Since they have decided to give love a go, however, Sebastian has been remarkably coy with his kisses; Vincent is determined to solve this puzzle tonight, though Sebastian be timid. The boy shrugs, averting his gaze. “We kiss often when we’re awake. Why should this be different?”

“Because it’s you accepting mine during the day.” Vincent touches his nose to Sebastian’s playfully. “I’m always thankful you do. But you take your turn during the night, when I can’t always tell…” His expression becomes more serious. “I’ve been wondering whether you had something to tell me. About our relationship, or whether I’ve been good to you-”

Sebastian’s eyes widen. “You are more than good to me! I just…”

But he stops himself quickly. Defensiveness doesn’t make for a good pattern of conversation; he needs to explain, not deny. He lies down with Vincent, his head nestled against the other’s shoulder.

“It’s been nearly two years since we met.” He begins, quiet and hesitant at first, searching for the correct words for his thoughts. His pale hand rests upon Vincent’s warm chest. “And I’ve been thinking... It’s a miracle I met you at all, let alone getting to live with you like this. I’ve never felt quite as - all right - as I’ve felt the past two months.” A small, sad smile. “I don’t even think I felt this way in Serbia. Not for most of the decade. You bring me back the stillness (that’s his word for stability) I lost while coming here, and when you kiss me the world feels quiet where we are, and I am at peace.”

The smile drops then, and Sebastian averts his gaze. His fingers tremble. “But I... I’m afraid it might all go away, you understand. It has been difficult for me to deserve the good things in my life. I’m scared that if I demand any more of you than what I have now, you might find me ungrateful. Overly forward... not really worthwhile.“

Sebastian finishes there and braces himself. He has had many conversations about gratitude and his just deserts in France, and although he’s received a lot of support, those discussions have never once gone the way he wanted them to be. It always ends up as token reassurance that he is well-liked or that he really does belong here, sometimes even a conversation about God’s intentions (no offense to Gaspard, who always gives him much to think about); Sebastian knows all this, he’s asking for help in believing it, and words alone don’t do that justice.Vincent thinks for a while. Then he closes an arm around Sebastian - switches places on the bed when the boy tenses, Sebastian hates being pressed into corners - and presses soft lazy kisses against his forehead. “You’re a shy boy.” He teases softly, caressing the other’s peach-soft cheek, and gazes into his eyes. “You know... in a couple of months, it’ll be a new millennium.”

Sebastian nods wistfully. “I know.”

“A new thousand years. Isn’t it incredible?” Vincent is beginning to sound sleepy again, but his eyes never falter from Sebastian’s own, gazing at him with absolute love and trust. “And to think I spent the past few years thinking that I might not make it, despite being more than young enough to see it through. Having you with me cured me of that thought for good. Worthwhile, you said... After what you’ve done for me, Bastien, if you’re not worth everything what is?”

Sebastian blushes again. “I think many things are going to change in the coming year,” Vincent continues, “and the many others ahead of us. A new millennium is a new era in a very powerful sense, after all. We’ll never see another in our lifetime, but so be it; good or bad, I want to always stand by your side when those changes happen, and I want us to begin a life together.”

“Vinco...”

“But I’m still a young man. A foolish man. I’m actually afraid I’m going to mess up all the time, and I need a lot of help, and plenty of encouragement to keep me going.” Vincent smiles coyly then, gently touching Sebastian’s lips. “And you know... I think a kiss from you is exactly what gives me that strength, and not just at night, either.”

Sebastian looks at him. Slowly, his face relaxes.Relaxation turns into abject relief as he starts laughing. At first he dissolves into helpless chuckles, burying his face in the pillow to quell the noise; but soon the joy is too much to keep to himself, and he grabs Vincent to kiss him again and again, forehead to cheek to lips in rapid succession. Even among friends Sebastian’s delight is rare, so to be the sole recipient of it - ah, Vincent couldn’t be more honoured. He returns the last kiss passionately and hugs Sebastian tight, pulling up the covers around them.

“Let’s do our best, Bastien.” He whispers, linking their fingers together. “Let’s go get your degree and my sportscar and our little cottage in Grasse. We’ve our entire lifetime to shine bright, haven’t we?”