#prankmay2022

Jason opened his mouth in a wide yawn, contemplating the thought of joining Salim for a nap, though he knew he’d wake up feeling groggy and cranky. As he struggled to keep his eyes opened, he caught movement in his peripheral vision. Looking to his left, his eyes bulged at the sight of Nadira hastily crawling across the floor and making her way towards the scattered cushions on the floor.

“Um?” He looked from the infant to Dar, who finally glanced up from his book, looking first to Jason and then to his daughter on the floor. He dropped the book immediately, shooting to his feet and rushing over to scoop the child up.

“How the hell did that little scuttlebutt get out of her crib?” the American murmured to himself.

Dar looked from the baby to the former marine, slack-jawed and just as confused as he was. “<I...She…>”

“<The side rail on that crib comes down, right? Think it fell and she climbed out?>”

Cradling the infant close to his chest, Dar swiftly moved past Jason, making his way down to the end of the hall and entering the bedroom he shared with his daughter. He stopped abruptly as his eyes fell upon the crib, shocked by the sight of two blankets tied in a tight knot and draped over the side of the crib, with one end tied tightly to one of the spindles of the crib.

The two men gawked at the sight, then at each other, and then ultimately at the cooing infant.

“<No...No fucking way. There’s no way>,” came Jason’s stunned

“<But...I mean, she got out somehow! But this is…I can’t...>”

Jason stared down at the child wiggling around in her father’s arms. “<Fuck, how smart is this kid?>”

At that moment, both men startled and glanced over their shoulders as they heard a rather loud snicker coming from out in the hall. Their eyes fell upon Salim’s amused face for only a moment before the Iraqi swiftly pulled his head back into his room and slammed the door shut.

“Salim!” they both shouted as they darted out of the room and went to burst into the man’s bedroom. Inside, they found the Iraqi wheezing uncontrollably as he wiped at his eyes, taking a few steps back until the back of his legs bumped against the side of his bed.

“<I’m sorry, I’m sorry!>” Salim held up his hands in surrender as Jason went to snatch one of the pillows off the man’s bed, no doubt to hit him with. Salim shielded himself, still laughing as he was pummeled over the head. “<You...Your faces! The looks on your faces! You actually thought…>” Salim lost himself in another fit of laughter as he let himself collapse onto the bed. For Jason, his laughter was contagious, and it didn’t take long before the former marine was laughing as well.

Meanwhile, Dar remained standing in the center of the room, his mouth twitching as he fought a grin. “<Very cute, Salim, very cute>,” he said as he gently swayed his daughter. “<Should have known. You were always a prankster.>”

Jason looked intrigued, shooting a glance at the recovering Iraqi. “<Really? What kind of stunts would he pull?>”

Dar chuckled. “<The usual. My men were often running around trying to find something they had misplaced. Little did they know that Salim had come along and swiped it and put it somewhere else..usually in the oddest of places. He did this so often that after a while, if ever someone couldn’t find something they needed, they just went straight to Salim and asked him where he hid it.>”

Smirking, Jason turned and lightly punched Salim in the arm. “<Nick and I did stuff like that to each other all the time.>”

“<And of course, he didn’t spare me, either.>” Dar deadpanned as he looked straight at the other Iraqi. “<Go on...tell him. I know you want to.>”

Salim already looked set to lose it again.

“Oh, shit, what’d you do?” Jason asked him, switching back to English out of force of habit.

“<Well...one day I found this shriveled up finger in Zain’s room, right? It was some kind of gag toy. Tariq would find a lot of them for him. So...rather than toss it before Zain could have a chance to scare me with it, I decided to swipe it for the next time I had to report for duty.>” Salim took a moment, his shoulders already shaking as he held back more laughter. He caught Dar’s eye and shook his head. “<Dar, I can’t! You tell him!>” was all he managed before he started cackling again.

Rolling his eyes, though still smirking, Dar concluded the tale. “<The jackass walks up to me, holds up his pinky with that stupid shriveled up finger on it and says, ‘Captain, do you think I should see a doctor about this?’ Nearly gave me a heart attack.>”

Jason immediately doubled over, tears gathering at the corner of his eyes. A loud, joyous coo from Nadira only added to the moment.

“<I’m glad you’re taking amusement in this as well, my love,>” Dar remarked as he gazed affectionately down at the grinning child.

Jason stood from the bed, holding his stomach. “Well, I think I burned enough calories for the day. Need me a snack now.” Turning back to Salim, he grabbed for the pillow again and gave him one last thump on the head with it. As he left, he tickled the top of Nadira’s head and clapped Dar on the shoulder before exiting the room.

By now, Salim was off the bed, still grinning but otherwise not laughing anymore.

“<So what did you do? Did you just...pick her up and drop her in the hall?>”

“<Once I had the blankets tied I just took her to the end of the hall and put her down. I knew you’d both see her. She always goes for those cushions.>”

Dar shifted the infant in his arms, moving her to where she was facing the other direction. “<Honestly, there’s no telling what she could have gotten into it. You shouldn’t have done that.>”

Salim reached for the child, smiling as he gently took her from the elder man. “<Oh, Dar, relax. We’ve taken great care to baby proof this house. It’s fine.”

At that moment, a loud crash came from the kitchen, followed by a pained, “MOTHERFUCKER!”

Dar slowly turned back to he other Iraqi, an unspoken ‘Are you sure about that?’ written all over his face.