#praisesesh

Not our best pun work, we know. 

We went to Whiteface Mountain on Saturday, and no, not the actual Whiteface in the HP region of the Adirondacks, but one of the mountains next to Smuggler’s Notch. 

It was an overcast morning, but not without excitement. Whenever Erin drives, there is always much excitement. We accidentally stopped at the wrong place in Stowe. We thought it was a convenience store, but it turned out to be a grocery store, and they didn’t have any coffee, but we felt too awkward to leave without buying something, so we got some Kind bars, to branch out from our usual Clif energy bars. Erin’s parking job was embarrassingly memorable:

#notsexyvolvo

Later, we did stop at a convenience store/gas station. Let it be known that, even with the gas light JUST about to come on, ERIN STILL DID NOT GET GAS. It was still a half hour to Morrisville, where the trail is, and literally as soon as we left the gas station, both of us started freaking out. The gas light came on just as we got to the middle of nowhere, and we actually spent most of the hike wondering if we would ever make it back to civilization (yes, obviously we did, or we would not be writing this). 

EXCITING NEWS: WE GOT TO THE TRAIL WITHOUT A GPS! We used a REAL MAP (on an iPhone, but still a real map), and our new hiking book. Turns out it’s not that hard to get places when you read the directions.

The Beaver Meadows Trail (omg srsly, VT?) is on Mud City Road (Mud City, B*tch, Mud Mud City B*tch). It was muddy indeed. We took a detour from being basic on this hike, in fact, by not even saying “YAAS” that much, plus Erin not only hiked with her coffee this time, but ALSO WITH A BEANIE. So FOR TODAY ONLY, we will consider ourselves Hipster Hikes. We have to go back to Basic one of these days, because Andrew Barnaby is writing us a theme song. He realized that “Basic hikes for basic bitches” perfectly scans to “Empty chairs at empty tables,” so be on the lookout for our high-production-value music video, debuting soon. 

The Beaver Meadow Trail is extremely kind to out-of-shape hikers. Of course, we have a topographical map now, and we realized that at some point, we were going to have to start climbing steeply. At one point, Erin was heard to say “I don’t think we’ve gone uphill at all! At this rate, we’ll never make it to the top.” 

We found a shelter and latrine just as we reached the Long Trail, but luckily no bearded men listened in on our conversations this time.

But then, OH MY GOD. STRAIGHT UP. 90 DEGREES UP. SCRAMBLE.

Okay, more like 75 degree incline. But hello, that’s not exactly easy.

Don’t be fooled by the smile. Internal screams of pain and anguish.

It was difficult for a long time. That last mile seemed to stretch on for YEARS. But, eventually, we were greeted by the non-view that the top provided! We had to hold our phones up super high to get these pics, and you can still see the trees blocking the view.

#basic

Pics of us with the “view”:

We settled down to our second bagel of the day and Cheez-Its. And Kind bars! We have decided to produce a video called “Bars at the Bar.” It will entail alcohol and sampling different types of energy bars. We’re currently taking a break from Clif bars (as we’re starting to find them revolting). Just think of it as speed dating, but for food. The best kind of dating!

It was very #autumnal on this lovely overcast October Saturday:

And because autumn is also known as Fall, Erin celebrated the beginning of the most basic season of all by falling. Multiple times.  

Also, as we needed to celebrate the Great Feast of the Birth of Ultimate Supreme Goddess of the World (Julie Andrews), here is this nice pic of Emma in her natural habitat:

#yassss, Julie, #YAAAAASSSSSSS #QUEEN

We of course celebrated by singing a Julie Andrews medley. While we were singing “A Spoonful of Sugar,” we may or may not have passed a very large group of miserable-looking boy scouts. Sorry, boys. You know you secretly liked it.

We made back and passed many hipsters at the upper lot (which we did not park at, as to save as much gas as possible). SPEAKING OF WHICH, the gas situation was now at the forefront of our minds. Coasting most of the way to Morrisville, we were thrilled to return to phone service to find that there was a gas station just down the road, and we made it in the NICK OF TIME! 

Lesson learned: Erin, fill your damn tank when you get gas. Love and kisses, Emma.

Thus concluded our last basic hike at the end of our most hardcore week (three times in eight days!!!)

We’re not feeling basic enough to make any more dumb jokes. Please pray for us at the basic shrine (Starbucks) for more PSL-filled adventures. 

E&E

Coming soon: Basic Hunts for Basic Bitches