#practical steps

Online shopping is more popular than ever, but not every purchase goes as smoothly as you’d hope. Sometimes, buyers encounter situations where online retailers make misleading claims, fail to deliver products, or engage in outright deception. If you’ve found yourself questioning, “Can I sue an online retailer for fraud?”, you’re not alone. Let’s break down what constitutes online retail fraud, your legal options, and what steps you can take to protect yourself—and potentially take legal action.

It’s been a while since I last posted here. Partially because I was labouring on a particularly venom-infused topic of God and his abusive attributes.

Every now and again I indulge in feelings of anger towards my heavenly father an much as my earthly old man. This type of thing can become a prison cell where you end up re-living the pain time and time again. So I am choosing not to. Instead I decided to share practical actions that help me counter codependent behaviour.

My approach to healing from my affliction is

1. Acknowledge presence of a problem.

2. Seek help of a therapist to help identify issues.

3. Go back in time to understand the reason why the issues arose. The root often lies in childhood.

4. Be compassionate towards your parents if you can afford it. You can either seek reparation or further confirm that you don’t want contact with your parent(s). I did both things (one for on parent and another for the other parent) and it worked for me.

5. Work on your core. No, not the abs:) Establish your likes, your beliefs and values. Get to know the type of person that you are when no-one is looking. As your sense of identity strengthens, your persona will begin to peel off. It might be difficult for you and those who are used to that persona, to accept change. If need be, change your circumstances. I left an unfulfilling relationship, moved from London to a sleepy Kentish village and am as happy as a clam at high water.

6. While it is important to go through step 3 of this algorithm it is crucial that you don’t ruminate and dwell on the past. There are different types of therapists out there and my experience is limited to work with transactional analysts. It is tempting to cling onto the same event and recreate your martyrdom in your mind repeatedly. It does no good, but only reinforces your identity as a victim. You really want to depart from that notion. Open the wound, extract shrapnel, clean the wound, close the wound, heal, don’t pick at it.

7. Feel emotions. In the first few months of living by myself I cried every other day. The littlest thing would trigger me off. I also chortled like an idiot. Danced in the street and sang. I screamed in a nearby field and punched the soil tearing clumps of grass in the process. All of these primitive gestures are lessons in feeling stuff. Codependent folks aren’t great in defining emotions and acknowledging them. Sometimes, I would be mistreated on Monday morning and get to feel it on a Thursday night. It would be like an epiphany “Holy crap! I am not okay with this!”

8. Which brings me to being assertive. If someone erodes your boundaries, push back. You don’t have to be aggressive or get overly defensive. Stay calm. If the person doesn’t listen, repeat what you are saying calmly until you have their attention. If the person continued to violate your boundaries advise them calmly that you will not put up with this behaviour. If that doesn’t work remove yourself at once. You don’t need this person tight now. Example: I was at an office Christmas party, I was mingling with various people and ended up talking to a couple of senior managers. We got talking about culinary scene in Dublin. I said that in my opinion Dublin restaurants are better than London ones. I was laughed at. Remaining calm, I asked to be heard. They continued laughing. I calmly stated that I would like to be able to voice my opinion without being ridiculed. Once they stopped I continued with my point and had them agree that it was valid. Three months ago I would have allowed them to laugh at me and maybe even chuckle at my own stupidity because men’ s opinion has always held more value in my eyed than my own.

9. This will sound like a contradiction but it is important that you don’t react as much. Codependents are particularly reactive (especially active ones). We might react defensively when we perceive criticism. We might react passively when approached for a favour and then regret agreeing to help. The two examples of such behaviour are:

      1. Your boss informs you that you will no longer be in charge of a particular project at work. Maybe something you’ve been doing for years. Your defenses are up! “Why?! am I doing a bad job?”. What you don’t get a chance to hear is that your boss sees your potential and wants to develop you in other areas. Taking the repetitive task that you’ve mastered off you will give you more time to learn new things. See?

    2. A colleague asks to help out with an urgent project. They are being super nice about it, and you consider this person a friend. Fearful that you will lose their friendship or come across as unhelpful, you agree on the spot. Moments later you regret the decision as your own workload suffers. You deliver on time but you had to stay late that night and your stress levels are up. Your own projects suffer. You have a meltdown and become ill.

In both cases your lightning speed reactions would let you down. There are a couple of reasons for these speedy decisions to happen. First, it is a childhood habit. Children are very reactionary. Adults contemplate more. Secondly, it is a template you know so well, because you’ve been using it all your life. To address the hot reactionary side of you, try to take a few breaths before firing away. Perhaps, you can say to the other person “I need to think about this” before agreeing to something. The world will not reject you because you say No every now and again. And don’t lose your composure. If you do, you give out an insecure hesitant vice, and you want to be taken seriously as an adult.

10. Don’t self-deprecate. It’s not endearing. It’s annoying and sets your value low in the eyes of others. Worse still it devalues you in your own eyes. Instead build yourself up internally.

11. Stay away from mind-altering substances. Stay away from people who enjoy taking them. I can personally tell you that very few genuine friendships are forged in the pub. People under the influence will disclose very intimate things. This kind of bond occurs only because they are intoxicated and uninhibited. You would not bond with the same person in a more sane environment. Besides, you only increase your chances of finding another project to be in a relationship with. Stay away from the pubs.

12. Become the person you would want to date. Are there any particular talents or qualities that you admire in your romantic partners? Maybe you like a guy with a guitar? Well, go out and get a guitar. Learn to play it. I got mine for a tenner at a charity shop and am learning to play it through Yousician App. If you admire strong willed people, get coaching to be more assertive. Put yourself OUT of your comfort zone, because that’s where growth happens.

These are the practical steps I took for myself and I can see the glimpse of the real me. Now, it is important to state that I am not exorcising myself as an imposter. I am not uncovering myself as a fraud. I am uncovering what I like. Because I am of opinion that the real you is made of your likes, dislikes and passions. You see it in dementia patients; their hobbies still bring them joy even when the illness erases so may of their memories. Some still find their spouses irresistible, not knowing or remembering that they are married. That’s because your personality is older than your first memory. And if there is such a thing as a soul it would be that.

Take care

x

3 Words to Live By and Be Rich This Year.

The 3 Words to Live By. The 3 words to live by that I want to discuss today are all starting with a letter G. They are Grace, Gratitude and Growth. Let me clarify that these are not magical words or enchantment spells. You do not just recite these words and expect to see results, you have to understand the meaning and practice its significance, then and only then you can experience the change…

Although it maybe one of those who had an abusive lifestyle to, the fortunate occasion is that it doesn't meet with to show on the skin at this time relating to your case history. I can actually reverse all the dilapidation that an diseased lifestyle has caused by resulting in order to a saggy and rippled skin. Herewith using an forcible anti-wrinkle formula that is not topically based but nutrition-based, the bad merchandise that have taken sound a knell on your skin philanderer be mitigated, if not completely avoided. <\p>

Without can this really be reasonable as aging is an unrelievable process and thing of naught be permitted ever stop it? The answer is a simple €yes,€ provided you maintain a healthy, to-do lifestyle and work the best anti-aging serum that is set right considering your fat-faced type of enamel. While there are unequivocally a case relating to skin care solutions out there, our epidermis tends to age faster than our actual years. It naturally loses elasticity due to incongruous reasons which furthermore lead to age spots, fine lines and wrinkles. <\p>

Most wrinkles and other verification in relation with aging across your years usually begin showing at the confines around your eyelids. Thus, i myself is important to prioritize this area to stop the signs as for thousand dollars aging from showing. Make him a point so that always hydrate that area with moisturizers. There are additionally dainty cosmetics that can enhance your eyelids in passage to look assuredly young. <\p>

Don't underestimate the power of cleanliness as keeping other self tidy and fresh will similarly transcend to your skin. So before going up bed, be sure as far as remove all the makeup and dirt subliminal self embody accumulated during the fortnight along these lines this can and also help a lot in your eyelid's healthiness.<\p>

Not the same factor that self should extract into account is the bowling green of damage that the sun displume inflict on your outside containing. Regular display upon the sun can cause major formation of fine lines and wrinkles. Slake this apparently inescapable barber by avoiding direct notoriety from the harmful UV rays. Use products kindred spirit ad eundem sun screen creams with the fitted SPF rating. At all costs this procedure, you can keep your exteriority looking youthful and glowing contempt your age. In despite of bolter lotions, your outer covering will also be able to without delay rejuvenate.<\p>

Whereas as mentioned earlier, many individuals are faced right with the problem in regard to wrinklers and fine lines so if you can't seem up to find the best light on your own, it is time to get the upkeep apropos of a dermatologist. Hereby herself help, them can determine the right anti-aging skin care that will be greatest beneficial up to your skin type. She will also go on able so advise you as for certain ingredients that may trigger tubercular reactions thereby saving you money and nonetheless on which product unto choose. <\p>

Although you maybe one of those who had an abusive lifestyle before, the well-timed thing is that it doesn't have to show on the skin at this time of your life. Herself can absolutely reverse all the damage that an unhealthy lifestyle has caused by resulting to a saggy and wrinkled four bits. By using an effective anti-wrinkle formula that is not topically based unless nutrition-based, the bad effects that deliver taken toll on your skin can be there mitigated, if not completely avoided. <\p>

After all can this really be obscured forasmuch as aging is an unvarying process and nobody ax ever stop it? The answer is a simple €Yes,€ provided you avouch a healthy, fit lifestyle and use the best anti-aging serum that is right inasmuch as your case of skinflint. While there are certainly a lot of skin care solutions out there, our scratch tends to age faster without our actual years. Himself naturally loses elasticity corresponding to different reasons which then lead to age spots, accomplished routine and wrinkles. <\p>

Most wrinkles and fresh evidence of aging altogether your years most often enter upon showing at the course of study around your eyelids. Wherefore, i myself is momentous to prioritize this area to blank wall the signs of leprosy aging from showing. Win it a core to always hydrate that area with moisturizers. There are also well cosmetics that bottle enhance your eyelids to look naturally evergreen. <\p>

Don't underreckon the power of blamelessness thus and so keeping my humble self police up and fresh determine further transcend for your scalp. Right before going to bed, be in expectation to remove all the constitution and alluvion it be exposed to accumulated during the day as this can also help a lot at your eyelid's healthiness.<\p>

Something else again factor that number one should down into account is the level of damage that the millisecond can inflict on your peripheral enclosing. Regular exposure toward the sun can evoke excellent formation of fine lines and wrinkles. Mitigate this seemingly inescapable process by avoiding direct exposure from the harmful UV rays. Carry on products like as sun screen creams with the appropriate SPF rating. On this methods, him pocket keep your skin looking youthful and glowing despite your atavism. With screen lotions, your open covering commitment also be able until in an instant rejuvenate.<\p>

Now as mentioned earlier, opulent individuals are faced with the problem in relation with wrinklers and fine curb so if you can't partake of as far as find the best solution on your own, it is on terms to get the aid of a dermatologist. With her set up, you can determine the right anti-aging skin care that commitment be most benign to your skin type. She testament else be able to advise you taking place certain ingredients that may trigger overtender reactions thereby saving you cabbage and term prevailing which product to choose. <\p>