Stan didnât want to admit it, for months he held it in, not wanting to say those pesky three little words that do so much for him. He didnât want to open his heart to someone, not to Payton, not when the chances of her leaving him were high. She was a light in his life, a symbol of hope, a symbol of a future, and if she left, if she didnât say those words back to him â well it would literally kill him, and Stan wasnât ready for that kind of pain. She had told him those words, yet he wasnât ready to hear them, he wasnât ready to accept him, and it caused them to break up â it caused him to lash out in ways he shouldnât have. To this day he regrets it. There were times when she would say it in her sleep as she curled against him, using him as a comforter, a pillow and a duvet all at once; he wanted to say it, but, there was no point. Other times, he would make her laugh, do something goofy like try to dance; if anyone knows Stan, itâs that he canât dance if his life depended on it; and it earns him an âi love youâ through the laughter. He remembers one time, they were just sitting on the couch, both having had such a long day at work, just holding onto each other, Stan absentmindedly playing with her fingers and she would lean her head back, muttering a simple âI love you,â under her breath, Stan freezing just a little. He really couldnât do this, hear her say those words when he knew that her leaving was a possibility. And she did, and thatâs when he realized he loved her all along. It wasnât until he saw just how happy she was without him, how happy she was with him that he managed to say it out loud. I love you too but .. was all he can say to her, and it was the first real time he managed to say the words out loud.
