postscript. [bucky barnes x reader]
part four
ao3 / ko-fi rating: t word count: 3k warnings: none this chapter
22 November 1943
Dear Bucky,
Youāre in luck regarding my little Halloween party. Enclosed are as many pictures as I could take with the film that I had on hand. Donāt you dare go thanking me for these, now. Iām sure youāll get better use out of them than I will.
In regards to farming, I havenāt thought much about it until recently. All the same, Iāve started to imagine it with stark clarity. (It helps that my cousin lives out on a farm in Oneida, but I digress). I like the idea of getting out from under the smog and noise of the city and going somewhere where itās quiet and peaceful. Thatās the goal, I think: privacy and alone-ness. Not loneliness, mind. Thereās a difference between loneliness and alone-ness, and I wouldnāt do it if I thought I was going to be lonely. My ration book is enough to live on for the time being.
No, I donāt mind you reading my letters aloud, within reason. After all, me and Steve share little pieces from your letters with each other in order to feel like youāre right here with us and making up the final piece of the Three Stooges, a little band weāre likely to become once you finally get yourself home. Iāll just have to be cautious not to invoke the name of Fr*nk S*natra anymore since heās a sore point among the men.
I am also every bit as happy to have things that are just between you and me. Hereās something for your eyes only:
The promise youāre asking for is difficult to give, but Iāll give it to you all the same. Itās my sincere hope to not only have the title of your best friend but to be deserving of it, too. So, no, I wonāt hide from you, and I certainly donāt want to. However, I will endeavor to make these letters a joy to read as much as they are a joy to write, laced as they are with honesty and hardship. It is, after all, the Thankful time of year, and I intend to live up to the spirit of the holiday. End confidential statement.
Speaking of, I hope you and the boys will enjoy a feast even so far from home. I understand that for many of the boys, this is their first time out of the country, but I assure you it feels strange to us back in the States, too. What do you think about good olā Franklin Delano Roosevelt changing Thanksgiving Day to the last Thursday of the month? My mother is calling it Franksgiving only because she goes about all month long getting ready for her grand family dinner, and this year sheās upset at having less time to prepare. I tell her not to worry so much since we should try not to consume as much food this year anyway. This only upsets her more.
Still, she remains a real gem of a patron saint, if I do say so myself. Last week, she was put in charge of desserts for the churchās bond-sale potluck, and created a beautiful sheet cake of red, white, and blue over which she pasted the words āPrayer for Our Boys is Sweet to God.ā God may have been the only person that cake was sweet to, Iām afraid. Amidst all the chaos of organizing the thing, she had substituted sugar for salt. My father has told me I am not allowed to joke about it with her until months after Franksgiving is over, and to understand that, even then, the most I may get out of her is a frustrated sigh. It is on you and the boys that I must rely to find the humor in it. Eugene may be right. There might be some benefit to living on a sugar farm.
Yours,
Moe (if youāll be Larry and Steve will be Curly)
P.S. Hello to the men of Easy Company who I understand will be hearing this letter. Youāre all bang-up fellas!
P.P.S. Hello to Babe especially. The tea was better this time.
-... -...
1 December 1943
Heya Moe,
Boy, oh boy. I donāt know WHAT you wrote to Eisenhower, but he must be a sucker for a pretty dame. I didnāt want to write you about this just so as not to get our collective hopes up, but now that itās finally over and done with Iām happy to share. āShare what?ā Iām sure youāre asking at this point. Heck, Iām sure youāre on the edge of your seat. Well, hold your horses and sit down, missy, and Iāll tell you all about it.
At the end of October, the men of Easy finally found their final straw with Captain Sobel when said so-called ācaptainā issued Lt. Winters a court-martial. Again, that was a court-martial for LT. WINTERS of all people. The reasoning, I learned from Captain Nixon (a close friend of Wintersās), was a failure to follow conflicting latrine inspection orders. Typical Sobel, I learned from the rest. They have a choice name for him having to do with what comes out of the rear-end of a chicken. Apparently, the feud between him and Winters went much deeper than I thought. (My own COās, though tough, have been dolls in comparison).
Anyway, so this court-martialing business goes on and on with hearings getting postponed at every turn, but the Easy guys have had enough at this point. Guarnere, according to his own testimony to me, headed the whole thing up. (Doubtful, but I canāt prove it). There was this great, big campaign among them to resign their positions in an act of what can only be described as pure mutiny if Colonel Sink was gonna keep Sobel as the CO. In the end only three NCOās (non-commissioned officers) from Easy stayed out of it.
Well, Colonel Sink had a fit, according to the guys who were there. One guy got busted down a rank, and the rest were told that they oughtta be shot for insubordination. Surprise, surprise, they all survived. After that, we were all just waiting to hear about Wintersās court-martial outcome, but I guess they dropped it. And that gave us hope.
Well, the news came in just this past week. Presto, Sobelās OUT. He has been relocated from his command of Easy Company to a nearby flight school where heāll torment a new group of paratrooping recruits. But the key thing is he is in no position to probably ever lead men into combat. Among those we are thanking are God, Colonel Sink, and your saintly mother.
On the subject of your mother, I hope she wasnāt too disappointed with the outcome of her dinner. It did feel strange for us to celebrate Franksgiving early but not nearly as strange as it felt to celebrate it so far from home. The turkey was alright, if a little sparse and dry. More than a couple of men expressed thanks that Sobelās ugly mug was no longer around to look at, to which we all said cheers with a couple of cans of army-issued peaches. A couple of folks who shall remain unnamed started a fight with one of the Brits in town who, curious about the holiday, was told that the colonists had just been grateful to get the [REDACTED] heck out of this āmiserable, wet, soul-sucking jointā (meaning England). Unrelated, Joe Liebgott and Harry Welsh are working the mess hall this week.
Iāll tell you what, kid. When life gets tough, the tough get tougher. Now that things are looking up, every letter from you could fuel me for a marathon even in the frostbite cold of Aldbourne. News of your saintly mother is also extremely welcome, and always a riot for myself and the boys. There is much hooping and hollering at every mention of her. If only I could share these bursts of energy with you, but the best I can do for you is give you letters of my own. Still, somehow, I canāt help but think weāre gonna pull through. Afterwards, you and I can go on a hunt for all the privacy and alone-ness in the world, never once having to be lonely if we donāt wanna be.
We stay warm these days after our scheduled activities by playing basketball until weāre sore. Our good friend John Hall is a star player of Lt. Wintersās team, and I am the star player overall. Donāt forget it.
Yours,
Bucky āLarry from the Three Stoogesā Barnes
P.S. First Malarkey, now Babe. Unbelievable. Canāt a guy get a lady to himself?
-.-- -.
12 December 1943
Dear Bucky,
If you ever do see Sobel again, give him my hearty congratulations on his reassignment. I hope he felt my excitement wrap three times around the whole world to slap him right in the face like a particularly cold wind. You didnāt mention, but I assume that Winters has taken over command of Easy Company? If so, give him my congratulations on his promotion, too. In fact give the whole company my congratulations and many hugs and big, red lipstick kisses. What lovely news during such a lovely time of year. āTis the season, indeed!
Now, this is silly, but my cousin wants to know if John Hall seems happy to hear from her. Sheās let me read some of his letters which she thought were the sweetest things in the world, and now heās all she wants to hear about. For my part, I thought they were alright. Not bad on the comedy level, but no Red or Jack by any stretch. I think you and I do a heck of a lot better on that front. I would call his letters short, but Iām not about to pot his kettle. But if she likes him, I canāt say much of anything except good for both him and her! I love her as dearly as a sister, but I can see John Hall becoming a subject I grow quickly tired of. Donāt read this part to John, heās a swell guy and he wonāt be able to keep from thinking I think otherwise if he hears about it.
In light of this promise weāve made each other, I do have one hardship to get off my chest. You see, thereās this new Bing Crosby song thatās been playing on the radio every chance it gets, and it goes something like āIāll be home for Christmas / You can plan on me / Please have snow and mistletoe / and presents on the tree. / Christmas Eveāll find me / where the love light gleams. / Iāll be home for Christmas / if only in my dreams.ā Simple, isnāt it? Even so, I find myself tearing up a little every time I hear it. There are so many empty homes this year, and how many soldiers would like nothing more than to return?
I donāt know what Christmas will be like this year, but the usual holiday feeling has already been thrown a little off-kilter with the absence of so many of our young men. The city certainly feels smaller if that were possible, and yet it does also help all of us to feel closer. I canāt brush shoulders with another lady without knowing she must have a brother or a husband or someone or significance to her overseas. And I know any other lady will know the same of me without ever exchanging words. We are all so anxious to hear from you and know that you will be okay by the end of the year. Then we can mark another one down and pray that there arenāt many to go before the Germans surrender. There. That's my complaint. Hopefully that's pretty mild as far as hardships go.
Please be so kind as to distribute the attached package of little Christmas cards to the men + Vera. I'm so happy to hear that you had a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, but now I feel I should do my part to give you a Merry Christmas. If these little notes are worth anything in energy, maybe it will be enough for you and Easy to storm Hitler's Eagle's Nest all by yourselves and end the war by the time 1944 rolls around.
I am happy to be,
Your Best Friend
P.S. Dedicate your next half-court shot to me and you can get a big, red lipstick kiss of your own.
-... -...
19 December 1943
Heya,
Thank God that Iāve still got one friend inclined to give me the time of day. Dum Dum has taken clean off for the past few weeks. You can catch him in the pubs of Aldbourne paying special attention to a girl with yellow hair, freckles on every inch of her face, and a mean right hook when bothered by overzealous G.I.ās. I told Dum Dum not to steal my methods of finding a girl to write to, but he insists itās not the same since she hasnāt hit him. Well, I say, YET. As both you and I could tell him, itās only a matter of time. Heās become as distant and mysterious as Ron Speirs.Ā
With him gone, Iām stuck talking to Harry Welsh before lights out. Donāt get me wrong, Harryās a great guy (inclination to fight excepting), but all he talks about is missing his girlfriend Kitty. Kitty this, Kitty that. And as soon as he hears any name at all thatās close enough to Katherine, he gets all distant-eyed and moony. He told me his plan is to save the white silk of his parachute after the jump for her to make her wedding dress out of. Now, I donāt know much about girls and what they like from a wedding dress, but I DO know something about parachutes and the difficulty of hauling them around once theyāve been deployed. Still, Harryās convinced heāll be able to do it if itās for her. I canāt understand being that blinded by love.
Even so, I suppose I canāt blame him for thinking about home all the time. I havenāt heard Bing Crosbyās song, but I have heard of it. From the rumors flying around base, the BBC has it banned for fear of it decreasing morale. Well, consider my morale decreased. Iāll feel better once I get off this island, get my hands on a Luger pistol, and mow down enough Nazis that they decide Iāve done enough and send me home. Sorry, for the morbid talk, I guess. Iāll mellow out once I get over my poor, runny nose and talk to someone who isnāt head over heels for some girl that no one but them has ever met. I donāt know how anyone stands that kind of person.
Ignore me, Moe. Iām just jealous, is all. Up to this point I have been VERY subtle about my tendency for jealousy, but youāve finally caught me. I do see John Hall around, and he DOES mention your cousin very frequently. He hears my news of you with polite interest for his friend (not the confidential parts, donāt worry), but I can tell that his thoughts must drift to her as mine do to you when the roles are reversed. Itās easier to hear Eugene Roe talk about Vera. At least I know her. (She was thrilled to be included among the recipients of your pretty cards, by the way. I've given her your address, so expect some more English mail.)
By the end of the year, Iāll be A-Okay, no worries on that front. Iām only afraid that weāll all be horribly stir-crazy. I think the boys and their English girlfriends (excluding Roe and Vera) are due for nasty breakups any day now. Like clockwork.
A Christmas at home sounds like it would be beautiful, but I'm afraid I couldn't secure a pass home. In fact, I don't know anybody who did. Not for lack of trying, either! Winters shared with us about his home in Lancaster, Pennsylvania and his own parents and sister that he left there. I've never even been to Pennsylvania, and yet I found myself longing for it. How crazy is that?
Then I started to think, geez⦠What would it take you to meet me down in Pennsylvania? There's a lot of farmland there, Winters says. Maybe we could just visit Quaker land and see the funny way they live and see if it's more lonely or more alone-like. Heck, what am I saying? We'd freeze to death. It's like I forget that the States can get cold, too. In my defense, Aldbourne is colder, and it's colder when thereās no one warm nearby.
Sorry about the drag of a letter. The holiday spirit is coming to me a little harder this year. It's comforting to know that if anyone understands me, it's you. I remain,
Yours,
Bucky
P.S. I have made no less than five half-court shots since your last letter and dedicated all of them to the angel daughter of a saintly woman. Emphatically.
-... -...
25 December 1943
Heya,
I hope Iām not bothering you by doubling up on my usual letter-writing quota. Itās the very earliest hours of the morning now, and I wanted you to be the first person that I wished a Merry Christmas. Wasnāt lucky enough to secure a pass back home, so this will have to do.
My last letter was so pathetic, I hate to even think about it. Although, it is true that I start to ache when I think about those grand olā Christmases in New York and the warmth that somehow gets under your skin even in the coldest days of the year. All the same, Iām glad that today by some miracle I donāt have to say that I canāt feel that warmth from all the way across the Atlantic. I actually can, and itās a very present feeling. The Brits are kind, the boys are family to me, and I have a stack of letters and some pictures from this wonderful girl back home thatās been kind enough to read and answer my own letters. Thatās the best present a soldier could ask for: just knowing that thereās someone thinking of and missing him on the other side. Like my own Christmas angel.
Is it cruel to hope that you do really miss me and that itās not just something you say because Iām a serviceman and it seems right? I know back home we were never close the way some friends are. I think of me and Steve and you and your cousin, just for two obvious examples. Still, Iād like to think that if this were any other Christmas and I came to your door needing a friend like you, you would make me feel welcome. For just Christmas night, I like to think you would make me a part of your home, and youād make sure I didnāt feel so alone. In a lot of ways, you already do.Ā
So, I wonāt mourn for a Christmas that I wonāt get to spend with Steve and Rebecca. Theyāll get their Christmas letters, too. Instead, Iāll sing carols with the men in the afternoon and trade stories with them about what itās like back home. And Iāll think on this letter and how many times Iāve written back home, back home, back home. And this evening, Iāll know that there is a girl who looks pretty in red who is waking much later than me and who is about to have a very Merry Christmas who wishes me the very same. If you feel that your fire is extra warm today, thatās the feeling of my best wishes for you flying across the ocean just to land in your hearth.
Itās time I was asleep now, if Dum Dumās snoring is any indication. The last Iāll say is that Bing Crosby really does know his stuff. I sure will be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams.
Love,
Bucky
P.S. I will wear your mittens all day long today and love every single fiber and not complain anymore. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.













