I need to grab yall by the shoulders and get it through to you that all your faves have done fucked up shit. Every single one. All of them. Every single person ever is problematic to some degree. Because we are human beings. Humans are flawed. We do fucked up shit. We make horrible mistakes. All of us. You harassing somebody for continuing to listen to an artist that was deemed "problematic" does nothing because that artist is still making money regardless of what you say and do. Just because someone likes a song made by a problematic artist does not mean they support that artist's actions.
"But they're still supporting them by streaming their music-" it's a Sisyphean task to consume everything ethically under capitalism because it's a system that thrives off exploitation. Odds are, you own/rely on/consume something that was made by someone being exploited somewhere. If you don't want to listen to a certain artist anymore because you don't like what they did, fine. Good for you. That does not make you morally superior to someone who does listen to someone problematic yet chooses to separate the art from the artist. Quit. Harassing people. Over. Dumb. Shit.
Obviously there are exceptions to this ideology but yea.
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look I might be too into Divided Loyalties but I swear I have my reasons for thinking that what happened in the flashback made a big impact on how the Doctor became like 1 in An Unearthly Child. listen if you like.
note1: references will be a mixture of photographs of my physical book copy, and direct quotes copied from the text. this is because I'm adding images on my phone, and the app only accepts 10 per post.
note2: the idea of the Doctor being this heavily affected by the events of the Divided Loyalties flashback is headcanon. I do not want to act as though the writers of the series were aware of the connections I'm making, or that all this was on purpose. I'm not in their heads.
1: the setup
so first of all the flashback is at a key point—the "becoming" of the Doctor, if you like.
• drax slips up and calls him theta, but it's clear that nickname is becoming more than obsolete:
• the tensions between the Doctor and his house are also growing:
• and the public beatdown he gets from Delox, in front of his class, is the breaking point for him mentally. (I won't put the whole thing here because it's long, but if you want it for reference please ask and it'll go in a reblog.)
• it's also worth noting directly after the Doctor leaves Delox, it's implied he met the Hermit and the story 3 tells Jo took place:
the Doctor is in a state of flux, in a state of emotional turmoil, feeling distaste for Time Lord society. we know this—nothing is ever going to be the same again.
there are multiple, sometimes contradictory statements about the events leading up to the doctor's decision to leave Gallifrey, but the idea that this first flashback and the later flight with Susan mirror each other is compelling to me. if things hadn't gone so wrong, maybe the Doctor wouldn't have returned, or at the very least mightn't have stayed so long on a planet that rejected him at every turn.
either way, if it mirrors the ultimate escape or not, I do think there's a connection to be made. the Doctor runs, and this is one of the first examples of that in their timeline. sure, there's the motivation that he wants to investigate the toymaker, but he'd also just gone through being berated, insulted, torn down. in part I think it was a kneejerk reaction to escape the confines of Time Lord society that were steadily becoming too stifling, even just for a few hours. you could even say that was the excuse 1 gave himself as he stole the TARDIS, a possible reason why they've called her "borrowed".
2: the companion blueprint
I've said this before on my account but Millennia and Rallon will always strike me as the blueprint of the doctor's companions. Millennia is clever, albeit naïve [1]. Rallon is devoted to Millennia and eager for adventure [2][3]. these traits parallel multiple other companions, not to mention how eventually they would have possibly been married like Ian and Barbara. this isn't to say they aren't their own characters, or that they don't have differences from later companions, but to me the similarities are there.
I'd like to posit, if I can be bold, that in some cases the Doctor chooses companions that subconciously remind them of Millennia and Rallon, that to some extent this choosing is them trying to 'make things right' about what happened, as well as because they miss their friends.
[1] direct quote: "Well, since you put it so bluntly, let's just say that for all her brains, all her instinctive skills in applied cosmic sciences and transcendental engineering, she has some maturing to do." Rallon held his arms wide.
[2] direct quote: "Only Rallon was nodding at him, eager to go."
[3] direct quote: "Rallon?" "Oh yes, count me in."
(2 and 3 are said in the context of the Doctor asking who wants to come with him to visit the toymaker's realm)
3: the failure
despite being in the process of leaving "Theta" behind to become "Doctor Who", the Doctor is still young in the flashback. you have the intelligence [1] and the determination [2], but he is, ultimately, inexperienced.
as soon as they land, the Doctor is out of his depth, and Rallon is lost.
it's true the Doctor gets into this situation many times in the future (companion lost, TARDIS inaccessible), but in his young arrogance he has massively underestimated the toymaker's power, especially as he has gone directly into its domain. this is something directly akin to a god, a being outside of our reality.
to go on a brief side tangent, you may ask why it is that the doctor has been able to go up against the toymaker and win after the first encounter. two reasons come to mind for me:
Rallon's influence
a better understanding of how the toymaker/eternals work.
Rallon's influence has gone by the time we come to nuwho, but during the Celestial Toymaker serial it can be argued he was somewhat affecting the toymaker. I feel that the doctor's experience plays a lesser part, but that it is there. they've learned the hard way.
to go back to the point: the Doctor fails to keep Millennia and Rallon safe. the toymaker acknowledges itself that he isn't well equipped to deal with it as a student.
the Doctor feels immense guilt and responsibility for what has happened [3]. on top of this, he very nearly loses his chance to become a Time Lord[4]. if he lost that, he'd not only have to face an ultimate failure, he would also lose the freedom that being a Time Lord permits (particularly an access to TARDISes).
it's hard to overestimate how much the Doctor loses in the final part of the flashback. friends, status, trust. he's determined enough to carry on [5] but it's a heavy blow. as mentioned in part 1, if the trip hadn't ended in the way it did, perhaps he wouldn't have felt the need to stay so long.
[1] His fingers breezed over the touch-sensitive keys as he used his natural skill for mathematics to upload terabytes of information to his data pad.
[2] direct quote: The Doctor looked hard at him and, for the second time in less than a day Rallon saw that look in his eyes. A look of fire, of danger. Or something not quite... Gallifreyan. Not normal.
[3] direct quote: He realised he was crying. Fear? Panic? Or just the loss of his friend Rallon? His fault. Rallon was dead and it was his fault.
[4]
[5] direct quote: No, he would face this with some dignity. If only in memory of Rallon and Millennia. He could never bring them back, but he would do it all again, for them. Not for Quences. Not for Borusa. Not even for dear Azmael. For his friends, because they had stood by him in adversity, even though it had cost them so much.
3: the consequences
so. to return to my starting point, I think what happened in the flashback directly affected the Doctor's first incarnation's behaviour and attitude once he did finally leave Gallifrey. in An Unearthly Child we have a character that would rather stay unknown, unaffected and untouched. the first doctor. it's true he did take a companion, his grand-daughter Susan, possibly because he couldn't bear to be alone, possibly because she reminded him of himself when he was young. I don't think the Doctor had all that many friends on Gallifrey after the Deca broke up, not even Koschei.
he's strange, prickly, arrogant and self-serving. he won't share information about his origins. and yes, I think of this as a knock-on effect from his experiences with Millennia and Rallon. to openly express care for his companions is to have harm done to them affect him more strongly. to offer information is to show weakness. the Doctor has, without his own knowledge, assimilated into Time Lord philosophies more closely than his younger self would ever have allowed. he's more afraid to break the rules off planet, out of fear that authority comes down on him again.
and it doesn't work! he becomes himself again, with friends. maybe ones that become absent, but companions that teach him what it means to have untempered curiosity again. the Doctor persists—persists even after the Time Lords do get hold of him again and exile him to Earth. the rest is history.
again, though, the flashback to me sets a pattern down. the Doctor, running. the Doctor in danger. the Doctor caring for their companions. the Doctor persisting despite everyone they have lost. it gives the Doctor a reason to stay on Gallifrey (the guilt, the near-expulsion, the fear, the loneliness) for so long that part of Time Lord culture wormed its way into their hearts.
Conclusion (?)
I don't exactly have any parting thoughts. this is long, and I thank you for reading this far. if you expected something big and powerful in this text, sorry, I'm mostly just rambling.
'roof of my mouth' is an awful way to refer to it. why do you need 4 words. if you burn it, are you really gonna take the time to yell out 'ouch! the roof of my mouth!' no you wont. you need a single wor- scratch that. its palate. post cancelled
Corporate needs you to figure out how tf a dude pulled directly out of the garbage can and the most elegant man you’ve ever seen in your life got together
got a “new” (brother thrifted it and then my sister stole it from him and then i took it from her) shirt it’s a big carhartt tank top with a pocket and it fits me like a tunic… medieval era 🎠🏰🗡️
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Been thinking about what kind of dynamic Knuckles and Rouge will have in the filmverse and came up with this idea: Knuckles has never had a crush before since he's been alone for most of his life so when he meets Rouge he thinks he's sick because he doesn't understand why his chest hurts or why his stomach feels strange whenever she's around
