your name is Rose Lalonde and this party fucking sucks.
well, no, it doesn't quite suck. the metric for sucking is so catastrophically buried in the dirt that every other party you've ever been to seems to remembered through a lens both cracked and rose-tinted. a rational mind might think that an event capable of such a feat, as well as producing a group that collectively shivers at the phrase "christmas party" should have put you off the idea of parties forever, but apparently a side effect of eternally looking 20 is eternally acting 20, so here you all are, after 150 years of no one doing anything interesting enough to get themselves offed, doing the same shit you've done too many times to remember.
you wonder if Vriska and Terezi are back together again. been almost a decade since you talked to either of them. for all you know they've gotten together and broken up again twice in that time. you used to consider this interesting enough gossip that you would use your crystal ball to see if they were still cuddled up while Terezi was talking shit about her. now you consider it so routine that to take interest would be a cursory exercise in your brother's half-dead artistic movement.
Classical Irony had its heyday more than a century ago. Dave has since moved on to more esoteric and niche forms of expression, and artists, being the pretentious contrarians they are, have started rejecting the artistic decrees of the literal gods. you briefly entertain the thought of bringing about an Ironic Renaissance, but decide that your heart wouldn't be in it, and without that you could only ever rehash what's already been done in that field.
you see a fight break out. Jade and Vriska are arguing over something. Jade always kind of acts like a bitch when Vriska's in the room, a fairly recent development, and at this point you're fairly certain they have a thing for each other. if you were to be frank, Jade acting like a bitch is the hottest thing you've seen in your entire life and you've half a mind to kill Vriska as many times as it takes for the crime of being the one to hoard the attention.
talking to Kanaya about this never goes anywhere. her, Karkat, and Roxy have, in their forums regarding human and troll sexuality, discovered that not only are quadrants fake and gay (fake because they are a constructed social illusion, and participating in that illusion is a form of engaging in kink, which is gay. they arrived at the same conclusion regarding monogamy, exclusive forms of sexuality [hetero/homosexuality], and gender performance) but that one can be aromantic or asexual in specific quadrants. you have quietly determined that, given the base assumption of the split attraction model intersecting with quadrants, it is only a matter of time before the act of liking another person is subdivided into so many parts that the only ways to consider the whole are to rigorously study and memorize and debate the chart (bcs of course they have a chart) or to dismiss is all as irrelevant and fuzzy and just start fucking nasty with anyone at all at a moment's notice.
the point it that Kanaya is Pitch Aromantic/Asexual. she's expressed that she's open to getting to know Jade better, but Jade doesn't listen to their podcast, so she isn't enlightened enough to realize that she can hatefuck both you and Vriska at the same time, and you've been listening to the podcast for so long that you've forgotten how to flirt like a normal person. Jade isn't that either, but you tend to overlook this detail when considering how to talk to her.
also if she stopped being nice to you for whatever reason at all you might start looking into ways to kill yourself. probably better to leave it alone and hope the feeling goes away eventually. maybe in another fifty years.
