#post moon

yesterday was late and today will be early because otherwise i might not get to posting

this was waayy more angsty than i thought it was going to be, i swear it was just mean to be about cardigans and/or tea. anyway here we are so tea will be saved for another day

CW: post-moon, no graphic descriptions of injuries but there are references and descriptions of exhaustion/pain due to said injuries

for prompt “beloved”  @wolfstarmicrofic

A very tired Remus Lupin struggles through the door of the flat he shares with an almost-as-tired Sirius Black the evening after a full moon. He wills his head up to scan the flat, eyes falling on his boyfriend. Sirius is curled up on they sofa, swallowed in one of Remus’ favourite cardigans, a thick grey thing, knit by Hope a long time ago. 

At this, Remus’ poor weary heart pulls and he’s not sure he has the strength to leave again next time. Or to make it to their room to collapse on their bed, come to think of it. He musters a croaky “Sirius…” before swaying to lean against the wall. He keeps his eyes on Sirius as he stirs. It feels like only a moment between the mumble and a very frantic Sirius in front of him.

“What the hell, Remus?” Sirius grabs Remus’ shoulders. Perhaps its a bit rougher than he usually is or perhaps Remus is in rougher shape than he usually is but either way he doesn’t think to stifle the wince before it flits across his face and Sirius steps back like he’s been burned. “Moony?”

“S’ry, Pads,” he gets out, “no’too sure i’m w’ll.” His words have devolved into slurring which he’s pretty sure is just the exhaustion but Sirius looks beyond alarmed.

“Ok, ok Moony, you’re ok, let’s get you to the bath so I can clean you up, ok?”

Remus grunts in protest, “Bed?” he asks hopefully.

Sirius looks actually pained to deny him this request, but remains firm, “It’ll only be quick, I’ll do all the work, then you can sleep.”

Once Sirius helps (carries?) Remus down the short hallway and into their bathroom and settles him gingerly on the toilet lid, he flicks his wand and the tub fills with warm water. He turns back to Remus and brings his soft hands to cradle his face, “hi, love. Thank you for coming back to me.”

“Always,” It took more effort than Remus was willing to admit for just that one word but he wasn’t going to let anything stop him from providing that for Sirius. And it paid off, Sirius lookesconsiderably calmer. 

They go through a now familiar routine. Sirius is careful and quick. Once washed, he dresses the bad wounds with a first round of dittany. Remus is hauled carefully out of the tub and rather than mess about with a towel, Sirius spells him dry and smothers him in warming charms. Sirius settles Remus on the bed and finishes healing and dresses everything he finds. 

After a last check with a slightly more coherent Remus, he moves to collect clothes. The finishing touch? A soft green cardigan which at one point was Remus’ but which has been beloved and paraded around for all to see as one of Sirius’ prized possessions. Now, it was wrapped securely around Remus and with it a scent he had dearly missed. Remus sighs in relief and at that, Sirius finally relaxes (well, mostly—you can only ask so much of Remus Lupin’s very worried boyfriend). 

❤️ Hello Everyone! And Happy Valentines Day! So as you might know, I’m actually not a big fan of this holiday. Never have been, though I don’t know why. But that doesn’t mean I can’t still write a cute fic for it. So enjoy some fluffy post-moon wolfstar! 

I would like to say a quick thank you to Luna ( @ladynightmare913 ) for hopping board on to help me write this.

A few days ago I stupidly injured my finger so it makes writing on my computer somewhat difficult. Please if you haven’t already, give her a follow! She’s one of my best friends and honestly, such an amazing girl and an incredible writer. I’m so glad to be able to call her my co-author. 

Anyways! I hope you enjoy! ❤️

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February of sixth year had arrived and as fate would allow it, Valentine’s Day landed the day after a full moon. Luckily, it was a fairly calm moon last night, Moony didn’t hurt himself too badly. He was more than content to run around in the woods with the rest of his pack till the sunrise. 

Sirius walked briskly down the corridor of the halls of Hogwarts, in a rush to reach the Gryffindor Portrait, and to the dorm. In a rush to get to Remus who was more than likely resting in his bed, resting from last night. Somehow, that thought forced Sirius to walk even faster.

“Sirius!” A voice called out, causing Sirius to skid to stop, looking to the one who had called his name. A fifth-year girl he guessed, she was dressed in Hufflepuff robes, she had light short brown hair with faint freckles across her nose, and green eyes. Her cheeks were flushed red as she walked towards him. 

“I uh, just want to say, Happy Valentine’s Day.” She quickly pulls out a red envelope tied with a small bag of chocolates, taking his hand and placing the envelope in it before quickly walking away. Sirius stared after her dumbly. Blinking slowly. Shaking his head, he shoved the envelope into his pocket and continued on his way. 

The trek to reach the Gryffindor Common room was one of the longest he had ever dealt with. Being stopped every couple of corridors by some girl or boy who wished to give him a valentine. He practically sighed in relief when he reached the third floor of the grand staircase, and stood before the portrait. Urgently speaking the password for the day, Ardenti Corde, to the portrait he ducked inside the common room before he could be delayed another minute. 

The marauder’s dorm was silent and empty, the lights turned off, save for the occasional sound of pages being turned. And the bright white light of lumos shining from the burgundy red curtains of the fourth poster-bed near the window. Of course, Remus was working and not resting.

8. Is that blood?.... No?

14. Can you shut up for once in your life?

Thank you @blitheringmcgonagall and @jennandblitz for reading and editing my terrible paragraphs!

The late afternoon light filtered through the thin curtains covering the windows of the hospital wing. The room was silent, save for the steady breathing of three teenagers. Remus opened his eyes, blinking the sleep away, and grimacing as the full force of the night’s transformation made itself known. He hadn’t felt this bad in a long time. His ribs ached and each breath caused a burning pain to shoot through his right side. This was not a good sign.

Remus looked across to the two boys sleeping in chairs to the side of the bed and realised that he was in the private room at the back of the ward, usually saved for patients who were very unwell. The last time Remus had been in this room, his friends had been on the verge of mastering their animagus transformations.

He tried to turn to his side to get more comfortable but the movement caused him to hiss in pain. The sound woke James, who was immediately alert and looking flustered.

“Remus. Merlin. You’re awake. Are you okay?” He ran his hand through his hair and leant forward, hands clenched and elbows on his knees. Peter remained asleep, head tipped back and mouth wide open. He was always difficult to wake in that state.

Remus laid back on the bed, already panting slightly from the effort required to shift position. “I feel like I’ve been hit by the Knight Bus. What happened? Where’s Siri...wait. Is that blood?” He had just noticed the red staining to James’s sleeves and the front of his t-shirt.

“No? Well, yes. But it’s yours.” James looked down at himself, the reply almost automatic after the last two years of having to convince Remus that he hadn’t hurt anyone.

“Where’s Sirius, James? What the fuck happened?” Remus was worried. Sirius was always there when he woke up, and he could tell James was being evasive. The conversation woke Peter, who looked confused, then relieved, and then worried.

“How are you feeling, mate? We thought you were going to die or something. You’ve been out for hours,” Peter said quickly, trying to hide his discomfort.

“Fantastic. Thanks Wormy.” Remus was not particularly patient when he was in pain, and he was also feeling worried that no-one had answered anything. “Now will you please tell me what happened and where the fuck Sirius is?” He had to close his eyes and try to breathe for a moment before continuing through gritted teeth, “And can someone get me a pain-killing potion please?”

Peter jumped up and said he’d go to get Madame Pomfrey, leaving James to try to explain.

“First of all, no-one got hurt. Well, you did. But you’re going to be okay. I’ll tell you what happened, but just hear me out okay?” Remus nodded his assent. “Snape got past the Willow last night.” James held his hand up before Remus could react. “No-one got hurt! Well, apart from you. But you’re going to be okay.”

“What?! How? How did he know? Does he know about me?” Remus was horrified. He leant over the side of the bed and vomited. James managed to grab a bowl and held it for him as his stomach emptied itself until there was nothing but bile.

“Er, yeah, he does. I’m sorry, mate. But he isn’t going to tell anyone.” James hated having to tell Remus what had happened, but it would be worse if someone else had to. The worst was still to come, and Remus was staring at him, still leaning over the side of the bed.

“James. Tell me what happened. Wait, where’s Sirius?” Remus looked to the side, as if he could have just missed his boyfriend sitting feet away.

“He, well, had a bit of a run in with Snape last night. Just before moonrise. He told him how to get into the tunnel.” The words were painful to say for James. He couldn’t imagine the betrayal that Remus must be feeling. Remus, for his part, could only stare at James with wide eyes and shake his head almost imperceptibly.

“I told you not to upset him, Mr. Potter,” Madame Pomfrey bustled in with Peter trailing behind her. “Here, drink this Mr. Lupin, it’ll help the sickness and pain. And you,” she jabbed a finger towards James, “Need to mind yourself. This is a hospital.”

James looked ashamed, but he wasn’t going to withhold the truth from his friend; Remus was stronger than the adults gave him credit for. He had been so angry with Sirius. At least Sirius realised he had majorly fucked up and came straight to James to tell him what had happened. James had taken off for the Willow, desperate to get there before Snape. He had nearly made it, and just saw the back of Snape’s cloak disappearing into the tunnel. Side aching with a stitch from running, James pushed on and managed to catch up to Snape halfway down the tunnel. They had fought, Snape hurling insults and trying to hex James, while the latter shouted back that he didn’t know what he was doing and for Merlin’s sake they needed to get out of there right now. James had succeeded, and Snape stormed off to inform Dumbledore of what he termed “Black’s Attempted Murder”.

When James had caught his breath, he went to find Sirius and deal with him. Likely he hadn’t thought of what this would do to Remus, and acted in the heat of the moment. Still, though, James was furious. Sirius came out of the other side of the altercation with a black eye and a deep sense of regret and self-hate. James had banned him from the hospital wing.

When Remus had taken the potions, he sat back and stared at the ceiling. He didn’t know what to think. Of course there would have been more to it than that. He wanted to know, but he also wanted to pass out and not have to feel.

“Why? Why would he do that? And where is he? Can’t face me himself?” He put his hands over his face. This was obviously a nightmare. “Please, Madame Pomfrey. I need to know. I promise I’ll rest.” The matron looked displeased but gave a short nod to Remus and a threatening look to James before leaving the room and closing the door.

“I told him he couldn’t come here. He fucked up. He doesn’t deserve to see you.” James was frowning, hands clenched in front of himself.

Remus ran his hands through his hair and sighed. The effects of the potions were kicking in and he was getting very drowsy. “Fuck, Prongs. I, just… Fuck. I need to see him. He needs to explain. Later. Please just go.” He wanted to be alone. He needed to cry.

James and Peter shared a concerned look, but honoured their friend’s request and left, telling Madame Pomfrey on their way out that Remus was going to sleep.

Remus turned onto his side and let himself cry. He couldn’t fathom what had happened. Snape knew he was a werewolf, and he had come close to killing him. His friends all denied it, but he knew he was a monster. Why had Sirius betrayed his trust, and to Snape of all people? He only managed to stop thinking as sleep took over and he sank into dreamless oblivion.

------------------

Sirius stood outside the hospital wing, toying with the package in his hands and dreading what was to come. James and Peter had returned to the dorm and Sirius had immediately asked how Remus was. James had been curt in his response. “He’s alive. He wants to see you, though fuck knows why. After dinner, he should be awake by then.”

Sirius had wanted to ask what James had told him, but he knew better than to ask. So he was facing a Remus who may know everything, or nothing.

Madam Pomfrey was less than enthusiastic about letting him in. His feeling of guilt increased as he saw that Remus was in the private room rather than on the ward, and again when he saw how unwell his boyfriend was. He knocked on the open door. “Moony?”

Remus looked in pain. There was blood staining the bandages on his arms and he was so pale that he almost blended into the sheets. He must have lost a lot of blood this time. Sirius wanted to disappear into a hole rather than cause Remus any further pain or upset.

“Sirius. Come in,we need to talk,” Remus said, gesturing with his head to the chair next to the bed. His voice was flat, without emotion. A stark contradiction to the red eyes and clenched jaw that were so obvious to Sirius. Sirius walked in and sat at the edge of the seat, putting the small packet on the bedside table. He’d never felt less relaxed in his life.

“James told me what you did. How could you?” Remus asked. Sirius looked into his eyes and could see the hurt, confusion, and betrayal present there. He didn’t know how to start, speaking, but once he started he couldn’t stop.

“I don’t know what James told you, but I promise I never meant to hurt you. See, I was coming back from tutoring that Hufflepuff girl and I ran into Snape. He was just making all these comments about how you looked so ill and kept making stupid references to the moon and I just knew that he knew and I wanted to protect you. I didn’t think he’d actually go there. I just wanted to scare him and thought he’d chicken out because, well, he’s Snape. And I realised what I’d done as soon as he’d left and I didn’t know what to do so I went bombing up to the dorm to find James and he was there and I told him and he went berserk and ran down to the Willow and he found Snape, I don’t know what happened but he was in the tunnel and James managed to get him out and Snape went to Dumbledore and James came back and punched me,” he gestured to the bruise blooming on his left cheekbone. “Which I deserve, Moony, I know I deserved it and I never deserve to talk to you again because all I am is a fucking Black even though I tried to not be one of them. But I love you so much and I…” his verbal diarrhoea was interrupted by Remus.

“Sirius, can you shut up for once in your life?!” he looked livid. Sirius fell silent and stared at his hands. Tears fell from his eyes onto his hands but he was too devastated to care. No, not devastated. Remus was devastated and had every right to be. Sirius was guilty, plain and simple.

Sirius didn’t know how long they sat in silence. It could have been a minute or half an hour. He didn’t dare look up. “Moony, I…” he started to say, not actually knowing where he was going with it. Another excuse? An apology?

“Don’t call me that. You don’t get to call me that ever again.” Sirius raised his eyes to look at Remus. He had never seen him cry, not until now. He instinctively reached out to comfort him but Remus pulled back. Sirius didn’t miss the wince of pain that shot across his face. “Get out. Don’t come near me again, Sirius. You’ve done enough damage.”

“Remus, please…”

“Go!” Remus shouted, probably using every ounce of energy he had left. Madame Pomfrey appeared at the door, arms crossed and frowning at Sirius.

Sirius stood, keeping his eyes on the floor.

“I love you, I’m so sorry.” Then he turned and left.