#post framework

And maybe he was focusing on his anxiety around that instead of actually working, which seemed like a waste of quiet lab time. At some point, he would have to tell Jemma that he didn't want to try again for something romantic, that what they had in their first attempt was good but not great. There had been nothing wrong, not really, they had just... not quite fit, that way. He'd been happy, but not as happy as he used to be, and he'd brushed it off as another symptom of his then undiagnosed depression, but things had changed. They'd done their experiment, and he'd been talking to the therapist that SHIELD hired on, and he'd learned a lot about himself over the course of a few sessions.

He was happier just being friends, and that was okay. He just didn't know how she would feel about it.

( "it's normal to worry about how other people feel, Leo, it's a sign of compassion and empathy."

"I'm sensing a but coming..."

"but it's not wrong to consider your own feelings. decisions you make affect you before they affect anyone else, and it's okay to put your own wants and feelings first, sometimes."

talking to Robin once a month since she arrived was helping more than he liked to acknowledge. reflecting on how much she helped meant he couldn't ignore how much had happened anymore, he had to face the fact that he'd needed help, and a part of him still hated that. the part of him that still sounded suspiciously like the doctor hated that he couldn't handle this on his own, that something as silly as emotions was so hard to manage. then again, that sentiment hadn't only come to mind after the framework. it was something that Alistair had put there, years ago, when he was still so impressionable and his mind was still trying to understand right and wrong. )

Fitz shook his head and made himself try to focus again, sorting through files and blueprints and scattered pencils over his workspace. He didn't have to worry about whatever conversations would happen in days or a week, at the very least not until Jemma was actually back on base. Until then, he could settle in, work on what still needed to be reviewed and finalized, go to his session, and appreciate the routine his life had settled into. While the rest of the team had continued field work and missions, he'd been able to step back from that, too, and spend all of his time creating, again.

Something about the weight of a gun in his hand still showed up in his nightmares, and in his memories. It was better to avoid his triggers than to try to push through his discomfort. That was something he learned from Robin.

When the door slid open, he lifted his head to look toward the sound. It had become a habit, reacting quickly to environmental changes, being always aware of what was going on around him. Maybe that was why he liked working in the quiet, so much - fewer things to make him anxious, fewer changes to keep track of, just his work and his thoughts. But, in this instance, the person who had activated the sliding door was someone who didn't make him anxious, and quite possibly the only person he considered to be as close of a friend as Jemma was.

"There he is!"

Fitz smiled when Daisy walked across the tile and hopped up to sit on the lab bench in front of him. If he'd actually been doing anything, he would have scolded her or told her to get down, but it just wasn't the day for productivity. Days off were okay, sometimes, too, and he had to remind himself of that. So, he gave up on trying to work entirely, stepping around the table to stand directly in front of her while he shook his head. "When did your team get back? How did the mission go?"

She all but grinned down at him, perfectly at ease with the dwindling space between them. That hadn't been the case, before, right after the incident with the Framework, when everyone had seen what he was capable of doing, but the entire team had forgiven him, and he was on his way to being able to forgive himself, too.

"It was fine. Almost boring, actually. I get it, we're making the world safer, but I almost miss having something interesting to do. At least things didn't feel so repetitive when we were saving the world every year, you know?"

With a softer smile, Fitz shook his head and reached for her hand, his fingers gentle as soon as they found skin. Maybe, if he was especially careful, he could make up for all of the times his hands weren't gentle, when they took lives and caused hurt, and the people he trusted the most were where he started. Slowly, he lifted their hands so that they could both see the color on her knuckles, a familiar sight with their line of work, but still not something he particularly enjoyed seeing. "This doesn't look boring."

Daisy rolled her eyes but didn't pull her hand away, letting his thumb brush over the bruised knuckles without complaint. "Oh, please, Fitz, I get those daily, at this point. I've survived a lot worse than a fist fight."

He sighed and gave her fingers a squeeze where she wasn't injured, his eyes still fixed on the mark he'd found. "You're a hazard to society..."

"It's just a bruise!"

Quiet fell between them and Fitz shook his head again, slower, before gently pulling her hand closer. He pressed a featherlight kiss to her bruised skin, and when he pulled his lips back, she left her hand where it was. They'd been close plenty of times, even closer and more in each other's space than they were just then, but it had never felt like that. It never felt like electricity, like any contact had left him feeling buzzed, like some ghost of her powers had taken root inside him and left him tingling.

When he let himself pull back enough to actually look up at her, he couldn't read the look in her eyes, and he had to push his nerves down. It wasn't abnormal for him to be physically affectionate, not anymore, and it wasn't like he was the same kid who had joined the team in the first place who didn't know what he was doing, who didn't know what a big family could feel like. It wasn't even the first time the two of them had done something so physically affectionate.

This was far from the first time lips had touched skin, they regularly hugged, they settled in close during scary movies, she'd even let him fall asleep in her bunk the night they stayed up late and he told her the truth he'd been in denial about.

( she was the only one he told besides Robin, the only person who could possibly understand the intricate complications of having a mad scientist enemy of SHIELD as an estranged parent. when he thought about it, they were a lot alike, and maybe that extended to their families, too, or it had been the other way around.

if Cal Johnson and Holden Radcliffe were so similar, it was some twist of fate that their children became best friends, something that could have led to the end of the known universe. luckily, they didn't inherit their fathers' affinity for chaos, or at least they only inherited a diluted version, the kind that didn't manifest into the usage of magic books or superhuman serums. but they would never have known that if it weren't for the men's similarities, and the most important thing they had in common:

the desperate, impossible lengths they went to in the name of protecting their children )

When he felt the gentle squeeze to his fingers meant to get his attention, Fitz took a slow breath and stepped back to give her the space to get down from the table. Boots hit title with a familiar sound, something that he knew well enough that it actually helped him relax, and it took everything he had to not let his shoulders visibly sag. It was a silly worry, overthinking about a simple action, anxious that it could possibly change the bond they'd formed that night in her bunk.

"I have to go debrief, but you normally meet us in the hangar when we land, and you didn't, today." Daisy was still in his space, their fingers slowly intertwining as if she didn't have anywhere in the world to be but right there by his side. "I was worried something happened. How are you doing? We're coming up on the Framework-iversary, aren't we?"

Fitz had to stop, then, and think about the date, do the math. If it really had been a whole year since he'd been pushed out of a nightmare, that was too much to think about. At the same time, he was certain that more than a year had passed. Too many things had changed for anything less, surely. He'd changed too much, and everyone else had changed alongside him, and if all of that could happen in just a year...

"I, uh... I forgot about that, actually. Yeah, this week."

She pulled her hand away only to close more of the space between them, tugging him into a tight hug that he didn't know he needed. It felt even better than the tingling that was starting to fade from his lips, filling him with warmth from the inside out. Because he'd made the right choice, telling her first, letting her in on the secret that had now been a part of his life for a year that didn't feel entirely real. When she spoke, it was just as gentle and careful as his fingers resting on her back, keeping the space between them at a minimum so he could savor the feeling, her words even more soothing than the physical contact. "If the anniversary comes up and you need anything at all, you know where to find me. I'm going to be taking a trip next week, anyway, so unless the world really does start ending again, I won't be doing any field work."

Hesitating for a moment, he made himself pull back enough to look down at her, confusion plain in his expression. "A trip? Where are you going? You're not going alone, are you?"

Her laughter at his concern did ease it, somewhat, and she shook her head while staying settled in his arms. "Well, while your mad scientist is, unfortunately, deceased, mine is a veterinarian. I like to check in, sometimes, even if I can't talk to him. If you're really worried about it, you haven't had any real time off in the last year. I'm sure Coulson won't mind if you take a weekend to come with me."

Fitz bit the inside of his lip, giving a small shake of his head while he thought it over. Really, it wasn't a difficult decision, and some time off did sound really nice. He supposed he deserved a little bit of a vacation as much as anyone else did. "Yeah, I'll come. You make sure I'm not alone in all of my dad stuff, and I'll make sure you're not alone in yours."

Standing up on her toes, Daisy kissed his cheek, stirring up that buzz all over again even when she properly pulled back. "Perfect. I'll let Coulson know after the debrief. But, on my way to find you, I did run into Robin, and she was looking for you, too. Did you have something scheduled for today?"

"I do, but not until..." He trailed off, glancing down at his watch to check the time with a small frown. When he actually saw the numbers there, he sighed and moved to follow her toward the doors. "Half an hour ago. Fuck."

When they got out to the hallway, they had to go in opposite directions, her to the left, where the training rooms and the Director's office was located, and him to the right, toward the bunks and Robin's makeshift office. But her laughter was so bright and teasing, and when he echoed off the brick walls, it made him feel warm.

In the lab, Fitz had put down one of the damaged ICERs he’dbeen working on (at first, he’d all-but refused to touch any of his projects,too afraid of creating something else terrible like the Framework, like AIDA, but Dr. Evans had worked with andgotten him to start small and take baby steps – and god, how could Jemma dislike the woman that was helping Fitz somuch?). Now, instead, he was facing Dr. Evans, his full focus on theirconversation, and all she could hear were alarm bells ringing in her headbecause they were too close.

Now, there wasn’t a single part of Jemma that ever thoughtFitz would cheat on her – he just wasn’t that kind of person, and she wasconfident that he would never hurt her in that way. But there was a part of her, a tiny littleinsecurity that had been born inside of her when a Fitz that wasn’t truly Fitzhad said those truly awful words toher, had told her they meant nothing to each other and that the woman he lovedwasn’t her.

She still remembered with absolute clarity witnessing theconversation Fitz had with AIDA after their escape from the Framework,remembered hearing him confess to having only room for one person in his heartand that person was her, but thoughthey’d begun to work through his fears of being unworthy and mend theirrelationship, he’d still never said those words to her. It left that insecurity open and vulnerable to grow freely asshe watched the closeness between Fitz and another woman, a woman he actuallyseemed able to open up to and behonest with, unlike her.

And perhaps that was what had the sickening jealousybubbling up in the pit of her stomach the most – why couldn’t he speak to her like that? Why did he continue tohide from her, to shy away from sharing his thoughts and feelings with her? Didhe believe they weren’t safe with her? Could he give her his heart, but nottrust her with his most intimate thoughts?

“Glare any harder and you’ll burn them to a crisp.”

Startled at the sudden voice, Jemma whirled around, nearlyspilling her tea in her haste. She found Daisy eyeing her in both amusement anddisbelief. “Oh. Hello Daisy, how are you?”

Daisy chuckled, crossing her arms over her chest and leaninga shoulder against the wall beside Jemma. “Give it up, Simmons, I know exactlywhat you were doing. Even though, for the record, I think it’s completely unnecessary.”

Jemma scoffed, throwing another quick glance into the lab,where Fitz and Elise were now sitting on the edge of his desk, side-by-side andpractically shoulder-to-shoulder. “Oh? You think so? You have eyes, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I do, and they’ve seen the most epic, unbelievabledisplay of true love unfold over the past four years. And I can sure as helltell you that she wasn’t involved.”She thumbed toward Dr. Evans, who had a hand resting on Fitz’s shoulder. “What’sgot you so worked up about this anyway? Like, how do you know that she isn’tjust giving him extra therapy? Because he sure as hell needs it.”

“Daisy.” Jemmashook her head, smiling humorlessly. “Come on.You’re seeing the same thing as I am, and you’ve likely seen them spendingalmost every day for the past couple of weeks together. In fact, I’ve barely seen him, and you must knowthat isn’t the greatest of signs.”

Daisy didn’t look convinced. “Yeah, well, what does Fitzhave to say about it?”

“Oh, quite a bit, actually. She’s all he ever seems to talkabout these days. ‘Elise said this’,or ‘Elise and I did that’, or ‘Elise is so much more understanding thatyou Jemma’.”

“Okay, I’m not sure anyonewould believe he’s ever actually said that last one.”

“Well, he might as well have.” Jemma sighed, tearing hergaze away from the sight in the lab to smile sadly at Daisy. “I like to believethat Fitz and I are stronger, better together than we are apart, but…what if heno longer does? He’s been through so much, and…and maybe I’m not what he needsanymore.”

“Oh come on.”Daisy leveled an incredulous look at her. “That’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard. I’ve seen how Fitz looks at you, okay? For years. And all I’ve ever seen is his unquestionable love for you.There are zero doubts in my mind that Fitz is one hundred percent devoted toyou. Some flirty little redhead with a psychology degree isn’t going to changethat, Jemma.”

“Well, alright, perhaps not, but –”

“No buts,” Daisy interrupted, shaking her head. “If you guyswould just talk to each other, you’drealize how ridiculous you’re being right now.”

Jemma wasn’t sure she believed that, not with the doubtsswimming around in her head and the unfamiliar and sour taste of jealousy atthe back of her throat. “It’s not that easy, Daisy,” she admitted softly.

“Yeah, it is,” Daisy disagreed.

-

“She’ll barely look at me half the time,” Fitz confessed,releasing a sigh and blinking back tears as he fiddled absently with the brokenICER in his hands. “I’m afraid… I mean, I thought we’d worked through all ofthe stuff that happened in the Framework, that she didn’t hold anything I didin there against me, even though she should–”

“Hey,” Elise cut in quickly, “no. What have we talked about?”

Fitz made a face, scowling down at his hands, but after amoment he dutifully answered, “None of the choices I made in there wereactually mine, I wasn’t in controland therefore can’t be held accountable.”

“Exactly,” she praised, reaching out to give his forearm abrief squeeze. “Fitz, I can’t tell you what Jemma’s thinking, but…you know, you’dbe able to solve a lot more of these problems if you actually talked to her.” She nudged him playfullyin the ribs with her elbow. “She isyour girlfriend, not to mention your best friend, after all.”

“I know,” Fitzsighed, setting down the ICER and turning so that he could perch on the edge ofhis desk, shoulders sagging in defeat. “It’s just never been our…strong suit, Iguess. It was always so effortless when science was all we ever had to worryabout, because we were always just on the same page. It’s like…I could trusther to know what I was thinking, sometimes even before I thought it myself. Butwith emotions and all that other important stuff? S’like we’re speaking twodifferent languages.”

“So, what, you just never discussed emotions with her?” sheasked disbelievingly.

“No.” He crossedhis arms over his chest, making a face. “I mean, we were actually always reallyopen with what was bothering us and I know how to read her emotions better thananything, and she can always tell when I’m about to break down, but…but it wasnever about us, about our friendshipor the way we felt about each other.” He smiled humorlessly as he remarked, “Probablywhy it took me so damn long to figure out I was bloody well in love with her,actually. I just…never really gave much thought to how I felt about Jemma. Shewas my best friend, and I just always expected her to be in my life and neveraccepted an alternative to that.”

Elise perched on the desk beside him, smiling gently. “Andit was only once you were forced to that you realized what you felt was actuallylove?” When Fitz nodded sadly, she reached out to rest a hand on his shoulder. “Fitz,why don’t you just tell her all ofthis? You were able to talk about it easily enough with me.”

Fitz rolled his eyes up toward the ceiling, sighing soheavily that his shoulders rose and fell with it. “Yeah, well, ‘cause you’renot Jemma. When I’m speaking with her, especially now, especially after what’shappened, I’m always afraid that whatever comes out of my mouth next mightfinally be the thing that pushes her away, the thing that finally has hercoming to her senses and heading for the hills.”

Elise laughed warmly, giving his shoulder a supportivesqueeze. “Oh Fitz, it’s my job to observe and understand human behavior, and letme tell you, even if I hadn’t had sessions with Jemma, I’d know she was completelyin love with you. I doubt anything you say could ever get her to stop lovingyou, because it’s just not that simple.”

Looking hopeful for the first time in awhile, Fitz loweredhis eyes to meet her gaze with a cautious smile. “You really think so?”

“I do,” Elise answered gently, “but I think you still needto hear it from her.”

-

That night, Jemma waited up for him in their bunk, sittingon the end of their bed and trying to convince herself that she wasn’t about tolose the person she loved more than anything else in the world. But, she remindedherself, she would also give up her world forhim, however that looked – even if it meant letting him go to be happierelsewhere.

When he finally entered the bunk and Jemma glanced up at thesound of the door opening, she could see his obvious surprise that she wasstill up. Then, the surprise turned to relief (and nervousness?) as he closedthe door behind him. “Hey, good, you’re still awake. I…um…I wanted to talk.”

Jemma felt a wave of nausea rush through her, and shewondered wildly if he’d come to tell her that he’d fallen out of love with her.Would she ever be able to stomach seeing him with someone else? Would she everbe able to rid herself of the aching, burning jealousy inside of her every time she laid eyes on them together,knowing that she wasn’t enough for him?

“I did too, actually,” she admitted, taking a deep breath asher hands wrung together in her lap. He opened his mouth to speak, but thesudden thought occurred to her that she wasn’t sure she’d even be able to hearhim say the words, so she hurried to get them out first to try and save herselfat least some heartache. “Fitz, I know,okay? And we can’t keep going on like this, because it’s turning me intosomeone I’m not. I’m tired of feeling like this, it’s making me sick.”

Fitz sucked in a shaky breath, nodding slowly, though hisrapid blinks told her that there were tears building in his eyes. “Uh…okay,yeah…what…um, what do you think we should do about it, then?”

The words brought her back to a time when their future hadbeen laid out before them, a beautiful unanswered question that she’d so lookedforward to answering. She never could’ve imagined it’d go this horribly, not in a million years (though a part of her couldn’thelp but remember what she’d beenputting him through at the time, and perhaps this was her payback for hurtinghim in such a way). “Isn’t it obvious? Fitz, we can’t keep this charade up ifone of us isn’t happy.”

He swallowed visibly, closing his eyes tightly and inhalingsharply. His curled his hands into trembling fists as he nodded rapidly. Jemmafelt a lick of confusion at his extreme reaction, but before she could questionhim about it, he asked a bit desperately, “I just…I need to know what…what didI do? So I don’t spend the rest of my life torturing myself over every littlemistake I’ve made, what was it that finally did me in?”

Jemma frowned deeply. Was he pretending he didn’t know whatshe was talking about, or…? “Fitz…I’m talking about you and…and Dr. Evans.”

At first, there was no visible reaction to the words. But,then his eyes popped open and he stared at her in bewilderment. “Me and Elise? What does she have to do withthis? Is it because I talk to her about us? Because…I mean, she’s my friend anda psychologist so…so I thought that was okay, but…”

She stared blankly at him a moment, then asked plainly, “Fitz,aren’t you in love with her?”

“What?” Jemma wasn’tsure she’d ever seen Fitz more caught off-guard than he was in that moment. “Inlove with…Elise? Are you… Wait, is that why you’ve been so upset with melately? Because you thought…”

“You’re telling me you aren’t?”Jemma wasn’t sure what to feel, equally confused and hopeful and scared.

“Of course not!How could you even…?”

Jemma threw her hands up as she cried, “I don’t know! I just always saw you together,smiling and laughing, and you opened up to her and spent so much time with herand…”

“You were jealous,”Fitz breathed, his eyes wide as it finally occurred to him. When Jemma made aface and shrugged, he let out a quiet chuckle. “It’s…I mean, I never want tomake you feel badly, about anything,and I’m so sorry that I have, but…” A disbelieving smile tugged at his lips. “Ijust can’t believe Jemma Simmons was jealousof some girl being friends with me.”

Jemma groaned, burying her face in her hands. “You’re notmaking me feel better, Fitz,” she told him pointedly, the words slightlymuffled.

“Sorry, sorry. I just don’t understand how you could think…”Then, he trailed off, releasing a heavy sigh and planting his hands on hiswaist. “Or maybe I do. I guess I haven’t done the best I could to remind youhow much you mean to me and that you’re…you’re the only person that could evermake me happy, y’know? I just…I couldn’t even begin to imagine loving anyonebut you. You’re…you’re everything I need, everything I don’t deserve, and just…everything. There’s no one for me butyou. Never has been.” He went quiet for a moment, then asked softly, “How couldyou doubt that? Have I not shown you how much you mean to me?”

“You have,” Jemmaassured him quickly, lifting her head from her hands and standing to approach him,“Oh Fitz, of course you have. I don’t know what’s come over me recently but… Isuppose I’m just so terrified of losing you. I never would have imagined itcould ever be to another woman before, but…”

“None of that was real,” Fitz reminded her firmly, a truththat had been drilled into each and every one of those who had been heldhostage in the Framework. “None of what I felt for her was real. What I feelfor you, however, is the most realthing in my life. When I have nothing else, I have that.” Removing his handsfrom his hips, he grasped hers and laced their fingers together. “Jemma, tellme what I need to do to convince you that you’re all I’ll ever want.”

“You already have,” she admitted, smiling a bitembarrassedly as she squeezed his fingers between hers. “I overreacted, I can seethat quite clearly now. But, it doesbring up something important; we needto be able to talk to each other, Fitz. Misunderstandings like this can beavoided completely if we just allowed ourselves to be more open with eachother.”

“Oh, trust me, I know. I’m…I’m working on it, okay?” Fitz’slips quirked up in a little smile. “I think we both are. And in the spirit ofthat, let me be open and tell you that you, Jemma Simmons, are the only womanin any universe, in any reality, that I will ever chose to be with, chose togive my heart to. S’been yours for over a decade, anyway.”

Jemma bit her bottom lip, but it did little to hold back theblindingly bright grin that appeared on her face. Using her grip on his hands,she tugged him closer until she could press her lips to his. “Good,” shemurmured, “because I hate feelingjealous.”

“I dunno, green did look pretty good on you,” he couldn’thelp but tease. When Jemma leaned back to allow him to see her narrowed eyes,Fitz was quick to go on, “Right, never mind. Forget I said anything and let’sjust go back to the kissing.”

And because she loved him dearly and was so utterly relievedto find that all of this had just been a silly overreaction, Jemma let it slideand pulled him back in with a warm smile.

He walks into their bunk ahead of her, his movements like in slow motion. But then she is just as hesitant, looking around at the pictures fallen off the walls, dust and ash somehow having found its way in, covering the furniture, their bed. The quarters hadn't been hit as hard as other parts of the base, but their former home certainly hadn't escaped unscathed.  He walks over to his nightstand, opening the drawer. A faint smile flashes across his face and Jemma doesn't have to guess to know what he's looking at. He reaches inside and pulls out the photograph and Jemma sighs in relief knowing that the image had survived.  "You should call her," she suggests quietly. He turns his head, smiling weakly, and nods. "Yeah. Yeah, I will." "It's strange," Jemma contemplates, turning her back on him to look around their room. "I'm almost happy we can't come back here. Moving somewhere else ... it sounds.... nice. Like a fresh start. I know we'll never be able to leave it all behind and forget what happened, but I think that maybe... maybe a different environment will make it easier. Certain things. A room with windows. Our own bathroom. Own kitchen. A real… a real home. A place to ourselves. We could try the apartment Daisy—" "Jemma," he interrupts her, quietly, and Jemma turns back around to face him. She gasps when her eyes fall onto the small box he's holding in his trembling hand. His lips are quivering and his eyes are tear-rimmed and fearful.  "Did you mean you?” His voice is shaky and wavering, his chest rising and falling with anxious breaths. “What you told me earlier? That you... that our future isn't—isn't dead. That you still want it. With me. To grow old together. Did you mean it when you said that you want me to be—" A smile flashes across her face. "The father of my children? Yes. Yes, Fitz, I meant all of that. All of that and more. I want to marry you and start a family and spend my life with you, through pain and joy and everything. I'll marry you tonight or tomorrow or a year from now or ten. Whenever you're ready. And until then, I'll be by your side if you let me. Please, let me." He opens the box, his hands shaking so hard he almost drops it. He looks at her, squints to let a single tear escape his eyes just to stare straight back into her soul a moment later. He drops to both knees. Jemma can tell that it wasn't on purpose, not part of an old-fashioned romantic gesture. It's his body giving way underneath him, underneath the weight he’s carrying. He looks up at her, fighting back tears, his fingers desperately gripping the small box, the diamond reflecting the ceiling light.  Jemma falls to her knees in front of him, cupping his face. "Fitz."

She pulls his chin up, kissing him softly. She notices the anxious breath he inhales, hears his stifled sobs, feels one of his tears dripping onto her cheek as his lips brush against hers both urgently and fearfully. He breaks their kiss, his breathing ragged and shallow, his forehead once again resting against hers.

“It hurts,” he whispers. His breath mingles with hers. “It hurts so much, and I’m so scared.”

“I know.” Jemma keeps her eyes closed, her lips pulling into a sad smile. “I know, Fitz.  Let me carry it. Just for a little bit, just long enough. Let me help carry your pain, like you helped me carry mine. Let’s fix this like we always do.”

She forces herself to bring enough distance between their faces so that she can look into his eyes, her thumbs brushing gently across his cheeks. “Together! That’s when we’re at our best!”

A smile flashes across his face, pained and sad and happy all rolled into one. His gaze falls to the small box in his hand and he fumbles, trying to force his trembling fingers to grab hold of the ring. He places the box on the ground, before stretching out his free hand palm-up, Jemma's eyes following each of his movements. 

She rests her hand in his and slowly he slips the ring onto her finger, before gazing into her eyes, tears streaming down his cheeks as his thumb gently glides over the ring and the finger it adorns.

“I can’t promise that it will be easy, Jemma. I can’t promise that it’ll be quick. I can’t promise that I won’t doubt myself along the way. But I promise, I won’t run. I won’t push you away. I won’t give up. I won’t give up on myself or you or us. I promise I will love you no matter what.”

Sneak Peek:

He’s leaning against the brick wall, his arms crossed in front of his chest, staring out of the window in the oh-so-familiar corner of the base.

Jemma feels a certain sense of déjà vu at the sight.

Only their roles are reversed.

This time he is the one who is lost. He is the one who’s broken. Or more broken. He is the one being eaten by guilt and fear. His soul has been ripped to shreds by something no one should ever have to experience.

He stands next to the pod, trying to hide in its shadow. His eyes are fixed on where Jemma is sleeping in the cargo bay, her body stretched across the seats of the Zephyr. Somehow everything had caught up with her, the sheer physical and mental exhaustion of everything that had happened to them, forcing her body to shut down.

They had won, saved the world, but his body language is anything but victorious.

“Don’t you even think about it.”

He spins around, taking a panicked step backwards. His eyes are red, sad, and afraid when he sees Daisy, and a split-second later they dart to the ground, trying to avoid her. The sight hurts Daisy’s eyes, stabs her heart.

“Don’t think about what?” he asks barely above a whisper, his voice hoarse andtrans shaken.

“You were right, Fitz. I turned my back on you. I went through something terrible and I wouldn’t accept your help. I ran. And I won’t let you make the same mistake I made. I won’t let you turn your back on us, on her. I won’t let you run.”

He looks up and shrugs, his head briefly darting in the direction where Jemma is sleeping. “But maybe it would be better?”

“Fuck it would be!” She takes a step closer, never taking her eyes off him. “Did it make things better when she left? She left because she thought it would be better for you and fuck did that backfire! So, no, Fitz, it wouldn’t be better!”

“I don’t know how you can look at me, how she can look at me.”

Daisy shakes her head. “No. That’s not it, Fitz. You don’t know how to look at us. I know that feeling, ‘cause that’s how I felt when I came back after Hive swayed me!”

He looks up, a million questions in his eyes.

“I hurt so many people I loved, betrayed them, physically hurt them, almost killed them. Coulson, Mack, you, Lincoln. I was the reason Andrew was dead. And I hated myself. I hated myself so much that when Coulson came to me and tried to tell me that I wasn’t to blame, that I was brainwashed, I wouldn’t accept his forgiveness. I thought I didn’t deserve it. And when Mack came to me and told me ‘I forgive you’ straight to my face, I wanted to push him away, because I still felt like I didn’t deserve it. I didn’t deserve forgiveness. But he didn’t let me. Mack didn’t let me push him away, he just held on tighter.”

Her voice is wavering and she’s fighting back her own tears, but she takes a step closer to where he’s standing, his head hanging low.

“And then I lost Lincoln, because he took my spot! Lincoln sacrificed himself when I was convinced it should have been me. And the hate for myself just grew. It grew and grew and I couldn’t forgive myself and I ran and it only made things worse, Fitz! You guys were offering me help. You were offering me forgiveness and I wouldn’t accept it! I won’t let you make that mistake, Fitz. I won’t! I forgive you. I forgive you for the things that were beyond your control, and I forgive you for the things that were in your control. I forgive you for not forgiving yourself yet. I forgive you and I won’t let you push me away, I won’t let you push her away. ‘Cause I love you, Fitz, and she loves you. The good, the bad, and the ugly. She loves you so much and you love her, and running away isn’t the answer ‘cause it would cause nothing but more pain for both of you! You need each other to heal! I know you hate yourself, Fitz. I know you hate what you’ve done and you feel guilty and I know you feel like you don’t deserve love or forgiveness or friendship or happiness, but you do! And I know the hardest part is forgiving yourself and nobody is expecting you to do that overnight. But if you run, then you’ll never forgive yourself, and you don’t deserve that. You don’t! So, I repeat: don’t you even dare think about it! I won’t let you run! I’ll be here, and Jemma will be here, and we will all be here to help you! Because I won’t let you make the mistake I made!”

She places her hand on his shoulder, feeling his muscles flinch at the touch, but she also notices his trembling hands reaching up, resting on her hips, and so she pulls him closer, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, her hand curling around his neck, massaging it gently.

“We change, Fitz. All of us! All the time! You’re different now, and there’s nothing wrong with that. And one day, you’ll accept that and embrace that, and you’ll be an even better person because of it.”

She notices how his knees buckle, how his body is shaken by sobs, how he clings to her more tightly, and so she pulls him up, carries his weight.

“I got you. I won’t let you fall.”