He had met Roan one morning in a café, when Roan had burst out laughing at Ferus’s long consideration of whether he wanted a muffin or a roll. Roan had tossed both on Ferus’s tray with such genial good nature that they had taken breakfast together and talked until lunch.
The memory of Roan’s booming laugh made Ferus’s chest feel tight. After leaving the Jedi, he had felt as though the ground was dissolving under his feet. He had wandered from planet to planet. The Jedi had given him enough credits, contacts, and help to start a new life. But those practical things had not helped with the bewilderment he felt.
It was Roan who had saved him. Roan who had shown him what it meant to have a home. When Ferus had come up with the idea for the business, Roan had sold everything he had to finance it. They had become partners as well as friends.
Excerpt from Jude Watson's The Last of the Jedi Book 1 - The Desperate Mission
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Trauma is doing a random specific thing for a long time by habit, and not knowing why until you un-repress the very specific memories attached to that one habit (and you realize once again how your trauma impacts every single thing you do)
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Taerand’s angular features were unyielding as he stared at the elf and two dragonborns standing on the other side of his ornate wooden desk. Kireen stared back just as hard, her arms folded. It was clear none of this sat well with her. As stark contrast to Kireen’s moodiness, K’lai’a’la stood partially behind Kireen’s arm, peering out at the domineering high elf with wide eyes. She didn’t like him and she especially did not like being contained in his room.
“I will not be doing this for free, as you know. In exchange for fetching Sadie’s soul, I simply require the three of you to be available when I need you,” his voice was smooth and carried a business-like quality but Kireen had spent enough time around nobles to know that disrespecting him would reveal a darker side she wasn’t eager to see.
“So you are asking for an open ended promise of service?” Kireen failed at keeping the annoyance from slipping out through the frown on her scaled face and her furrowed brow.
“No. I am asking for a single favor, the nature of which I am unsure of at the moment. I just know that all of your skills will be useful to me sometime in the near future,” Taerand seemed unconcerned with her hesitancy, clasping his hands loosely in front of him. His surety that they would accept made Kireen’s sword-hand twitch.
“In the near future? Sounds like you already know what you want us to do and just don’t want to tell us before we agree. What’s the point of bringing Sadie back if you just send us to our deaths again?”
Taerand quirked an eyebrow, his only sign of amusement. “Again? I had nothing to do with your friend’s death. I believe it was your decision to set the forest alight as you stood in it. My terms are final. If you wish to see your friend alive again, you will agree to owe me a simple favor. However, as a sign of good faith, I will agree to call upon it within the month. But that is the only concession I will make.”
The sound of Kireen’s teeth grinding together made K’lai’a’la glare at Taerand from her shelter behind Kireen’s back. Donar, who was stoically silent during this discussion stepped forward.
“I have no connection to the halfling and I have no interest in owing you anything. I will take my pay for the return of your emerald and be done with this business.”
Kireen’s head whipped toward Donar and she bared her teeth. “You’re going to leave us like this? You were the one that failed to save Sadie when you had the chance and now you are stopping us from bringing back our friend?!” her voice grew louder as she spoke until the last word bounced off of the walls back at them. Taerand’s face grew dark and he spoke directly to Kireen,
“You will keep your tone civil in my home or I will rescind the deal entirely and dispose of the corpse sullying my basement,” the sudden authority in his voice made even Kireen take a step backward. “Good. Donar, I will give you your pay and you may leave. For you two,” he gave Kireen and K’lai’a’la a pointed look “the deal still stands if you wish to take it. You may have a few minutes to discuss.” Taerand opened a drawer in his desk and removed a small leather bag that jingled softly. He wordlessly held it out to Donar who stepped forward and took it. Without another word, Donar left the room, tucking the bag into his pocket as he left.
The study was silent. Kireen did not know what to do. She needed to get Sadie back. She swore a silent oath to herself when they entered the forest that she would protect the members of her group and she failed. Sadie was left to fend for herself as the fire chased them. Kireen didn’t even think to help her but she should have, it would have been nothing to pick her up and take her to safety but she simply didn’t and that fact had been eating away at her for days. Perhaps they could return to the witch but they already knew the price. It was steep enough that maybe bringing back one life would cause others to lose theirs. This seemed the safest option but this elf was so smug. She would hate knowing that she was bound to serve him even if it was just one favor. As Kireen mentally chewed on her thoughts, she heard K’lai’a’la’s timid voice.
“I will give you favor if you give us Sadie.”
A smile spread across Taerand’s face that was neither friendly nor outright malicious but it certainly did not inspire confidence. “Done. And you?” He looked at Kireen as though he knew he had won and he had. Kireen couldn’t let K’lai’a’la serve this slimy elf by herself.
“Fine,” she spat and spun around, making for the door with K’lai’a’la at her heels.
“You will have your friend back in three days time,” his self-satisfied tone made Kireen want to gag.
