I’d give anything to hold you.
To hold you and not let go.
I wish,
I wish the small moments,
In the windows of time that we are spared,
Never ever had to close.
That is too much.
I know it is.
But frankly too much is all of me so…
Either you like it or you don’t.
I hope,
I hope,
I hope I’m not just a body to you.
Because that would most certainly kill me.
Not because I need you to choose me.
But because I need your words of care,
Your looks that hold so much depth,
That speak the words you cannot or dare not say.
To be true.
Because even if you don’t pick me at least I’ll know it was real.
That it meant something, to you.
“Senti a sua falta.”
“Really?”
“Sim.”
I know you aren’t mine.
And even if you were, people don’t own people.
And still I’d give anything to hold you,
My time,
My heart,
My mind,
My entire being.
I gave it all to your brother,
But maybe, just maybe,
I have,
A little more of all of me left…
To give to you.
I know that’s sacrifice.
I know relationships shouldn’t require sacrifice.
But that doesn’t stop me from wishing,
That doesn’t stop me from dreaming,
That doesn’t stop me from hoping,
That…
One day,
Soon,
You’ll be brave enough,
To pick me,
To save yourself,
To be with your brother,
Where you’re always meant to be.
But until then I’ll be a lighthouse,
I’ll be a safe haven,
I’ll be a body.
Because I want to be,
Because this crazy roller coaster ride is coming to an end (even though I desperately don’t want it to).
Because I don’t want to lose you (you aren’t mine to lose).
Because I’m holding on for dear life.
I need your words to be true like I need air in my fucking lungs!
That’s not right.
But that’s all I have.
And all I have is too much…
Isn’t it?
Or maybe, just maybe,
It’s just the right amount.
