1 more day till I have to get bloodwork. Honestly I’m not expecting a change in numbers. I’ve been testing all week and the test line has stayed about the same, not darker and not lighter. I’ve had some spotting here and there but only when I wipe and it doesn’t last long enough to be an indication of loss.
This has honestly been the longest week of my life… I’m pregnant and I have felt more pregnant this week than I have in the previous weeks, but I should be having a miscarriage at any point, the constantly waiting for it to happen is exhausting. The fear that it isn’t going to resolve itself and I will need surgery is really taking a toll on me…
I just have this gut feeling that this is going to be an ectopic pregnancy and the thought of that terrifies me. I’ve been working cause I haven’t lost anything yet and when I do I want to save my bereavement for it. I am thankful that my company offers 10 days of bereavement for pregnancy loss, which is more than it use to be, the first loss I got nothing and had to use my PTO, the second was only 3 days. I just wish I wasn’t having to plan on using it.. I just want to be planning for a healthy baby…. 😭
