#porsena

The Valour of Mucius Scaevola before Porsenna

Shopping for formal wear with:

1. Godric. I feel like he gets very flustered by women’s clothing and women’s shopping, especially if undergarments are involved, and I could basically milk him for ridiculous amounts of money that way.

2. Rowena. Either she knows how to do it very efficiently and get us out in time to spend a few hours in a bookstore, or she doesn’t care, which means I can just buy whatever I want and not try on fifteen different things first ‘just in case’. 

3. Salazar. I’m sure he’d be helpful and has a good eye for that sort of thing, but his commentary might be a biiit too incisive for me.

4. Helga. I feel like it would be like shopping with my mom, only worse, and she’d probably get personally offended when I didn’t want to try on Item Number 23 - exactly the same as Item Number 22 but with a slightly altered collar.

5. Turin. Personal grievances with the man aside, I don’t think he’s all that familiar with the concept of ‘shopping’.

Trying to fix broken-down automobile in the rain with:

1. Turin. We’d get absolutely nowhere and he’d probably just start yelling and attacking the car with his sword until the engine was in like five different pieces, but it would be hilarious.

2. Salazar. He’d be smart enough not to touch anything unless we were 96% sure we knew what it did, so we probably wouldn’t get very far with the repairs, but no one would die. Also, he’s the most likely to think of calling for help and be willing to do it. (Idk, he can Summon us a cellphone or Patronus a magi-mechanic or something.) Plus, sarcastic running commentary!

3. Helga. Probably the most likely to actually be able to fix it, but it would take a long time and she would insist on me holding or grabbing things that are potentially dangerous and/or covered in engine oil.

4. Rowena. She wouldn’t even try to fix it, she’d just take it completely apart and study it, while utterly ignoring my anguished protestations.

5. Godric. Of course he can fix it, he says! How hard can it be, he says! It just takes a little manly hard work and a head for these things, he says!

   You just gotta get through it, and then it’ll be over    

Celeborn: hate them | don’t really care | like them | LOVE them | THEY ARE MY PRECIOUS

ship with: Galadriel I guess. I’m not really invested.

friendship them with: Idk. A friendship with Luthien would be interesting? I mean, you see lots of fic and headcanon and meta about Galadriel knowing/being friendly with Luthien, but Celeborn would have known her longer and no one ever talks about that. One of my Sindar-friends should talk about it.

general opinions: He’s kind of racist and doesn’t really seem interesting to me, but he still doesn’t deserve Stoned Celeborn from the movies. Also props on copping to and apologizing for his anti-Khazad sentiments in LotR, that’s rare and admirable.

Tom Bombadil: hate them | don’t really care | like them | LOVE them | THEY ARE MY PRECIOUS

ship with: I wouldn’t inflict him on anyone other than Goldberry, who doesn’t seem to mind.

friendship them with: I mean, Frodo likes him for some reason.

general opinions: THAT PART OF THE BOOK IS SO BORING AND FRUSTRATING, OKAY????? The only time I ever enjoyed it was when I was reading FotR out loud to @postergirlanachronism, and that was because she’s so well-versed in Celtic mythology that she was convinced he and Goldberry were going to turn out to be both fae and fey, and the hobbits would leave the forest and find out a hundred years had passed.

My favourite Elf is Mablung, except for occasionally when it’s Fingolfin.

Eh, I have various feeling on most of the Great Elf Strongholds, mostly on a spectrum of ‘meh, not worth it’ to ‘wow you suck’, but I’d probably pick Nargothrond over Doriath. That said, at least Doriath is relatively stable, so if I’m choosing where to live rather than who to support, I... guess I pick Doriath?

Ugh, sorry this took so long; I’ve been off-line more than usual.

I hate Dori’s characterization in the Hobbit movies because he’s pretty much always been my favourite character in the books, like since I was six, and as I get older I find more things to appreciate about him (to say nothing of him being one of, like, four Dwarves that gets solid characterization), and not only his entire character but all his lines and relevance to the plot got completely erased for the sake of... not even a joke. A bit, maybe? He’s a foodie, for some reason. And not a reluctant hobbit-minder foodie who talks back to Gandalf - no, the grumbling, Gandalf-back-talking, reluctant-hobbit-minder who risks his life for Bilbo anyway aspect of his character is just gone.

I like Fingolfin because he’s bad-ass, and because I also would like to slap Feanor upside the head, and also because I have a huge soft spot for demonstrably good leaders. One thing that I think the ‘Finarfin, best king of the Noldor!’ crowd overlook (and I’m not harshing on Finarfin here) is that Fingolfin did not want to go to Middle-earth. He wasn’t gung-ho for it like Fingon - in fact, it states in the book that he wanted to go back to Tirion and accept the Valar’s pardon. But some of his people were bound and determined to go with Feanor, and he wasn’t prepared to abandon them to Feanor’s questionable leadership.

(When I say he’s a badass, btw, I’m not just talking about his duel with Morgoth - his complete no sell with a SWORD shoved against his CHEST is not only impressive but GREAT. Everyone should deal with Feanor by completely ignoring his existence.)

And Mablung... I don’t know. Mablung is honest and dutiful and unwilling to compromise his integrity for a friend even when manipulatively guilt-tripped. Mablung calls Turin on his bullshit. Mablung was probably Nienor’s friend, and him ‘failing’ her and losing her and searching for her, and being completely prepared for Thingol to, like, demote or execute him - ugh. Mablung is my upright, stoic guard captain but tragic.

I am very sick and I am very miserable                

   Oh no :( Is there any way to postpone it?