Mar 14, 2013
Guys, the new Pope was elected today and he already has a fucking wikipedia page
that was quick
Loading...
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from Colombia
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from China
seen from China
seen from South Korea
seen from United States
seen from Belgium
seen from United States
seen from Denmark
seen from China
seen from United States
Guys, the new Pope was elected today and he already has a fucking wikipedia page
that was quick
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
WHEN I FIRST HEARD THE NEW POPE'S NAME
I was like...
When you change your job to "Pope" on Facebook...
me: congratulations on your promotion.
Tobin: Thanks, man!
It's a big honor
But I'm ready to lead the Catholic people into the new century
Sent at 3:48 PM on Wednesday
me: so what will your first order of business be?
Sent at 3:52 PM on Wednesday
Tobin: Stairway to Heaven, baby
me: will it play every single time you descend somewhere?
or ascend?
and do you realize how many old churches and places in rome have marble stairs
Tobin: No, I mean I'm literally going to build a stairway to Heaven
ANOTHER WHITE POPE from Argentina
WE HAVE A WINNER!
Jorge Mario Bergoglio (76)
First Jesuit Pope ever. Anti-capitalist. Argentinian. Woody Allen look-a-like.
Audition Song: Hips Don't Lie
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Can't wait to find out whether one of our lucky candidates is now the infallible voice of the Almighty?
Click here.
Francis Arinze
Pros: saved thousands of refugees and poor in his native Nigeria, may get votes from elderly cardinals mistaking him for Morgan Freeman
Cons: is not in fact Morgan Freeman, didn't make the cut during the last edition of PopeFactor in 2005
Audition song: "Hero" - Enrique Iglesias
As the black smoke billows, we move on to another round of voting. More pope-wannabes on their way to you later today!