#poor warren

so naturally i have to rant to my sister about it (spoilers under the readmore for issue 15. but like some information might have been retconned later, so... not really spoiling much i guess)

This is set after Zzyzx, but before Dragonwatch... Hope you enjoy!

“Ha! I win!” Seth’s shout was loud enough to rival the drumming rain outside.

“No way! You cheated! I saw you look at the cards when you were dealing!” Kendra retorted.

“It’s not cheating if you can’t prove it.”

“So you admit it!”

“I didn’t say that!”

Ever since they were little, Kendra and Seth had been having their infamous sibling-bonding games nights. They were infrequent, but everyone knew about them- the only requirements were that it had to be at night, and it had to be raining. Nobody else was ever allowed to join in, but the sibling rivalry meant that the entire preserve probably could have heard every word. The nights had become so well-known because the first time they’d held one at Fablehaven, they’d accidentally woken the entire household up in the middle of the night with their shouting. After everyone barged in, thinking that something was wrong, Seth and Kendra had united, driving everyone out of the attic, and set about pranking every member of the household, innocent or not. Eventually, Grandma and Grandpa made everyone swear not to interrupt the games nights after a particularly life-threatening retaliation involving a frying pan and an unhealthy amount of bubbles.

Kendra and Seth were currently sitting on the floor in the attic, surrounded by mountains of games, Uno cards scattered all over the floor after Seth had thrown them in the air as a part of his victory-dance.

“You totally cheated, Seth! You can’t look at the cards, dealing or not.”

“We never said we couldn’t.”

“AHA! So it went from flat-out denial, to ‘no evidence’ to ‘not in the rules.’ If you keep changing your defense, you won’t have one left!”

“So I do have a defense, and therefore my defenses all had merit. You’re the one digging yourself deeper, Kendra.”

“That didn’t make very much sense, Seth. Your defense’s defense has even more problems than the original defense!”

“Now I’m just confused. How about we call it a draw, because I don’t think either of us understands what the other is saying right now, and I want to play truth or dare.” Seth grinned at his sister, leaning against his bed, as they both tried to figure out what they’d both said.

“Fine,” Kendra relented. “But I get to go first- truth or dare?”

“Is that even a question? Dear sister, do you even know me at all?”

“Just answer the question, Seth!” Kendra rolled her eyes.

“Dare.” His sister’s grin turned evil.

“I dare you to sneak out to Warren’s cabin, put fluro pink dye in the showerhead, and remove every last mirror in his house.” Seth laughed.

“Where are we getting the dye from?”

“I may or may not have prepared for this earlier, and if you hadn’t for some unforeseeable reason asked to play truth or dare, I would have done it myself.” Seth’s eyes widened in understanding.

“This is payback for when he called you cute, and practically dared you to something about it last week, isn’t it?”

“I shall neither confirm nor deny, but if I were to say something, I would say that you are correct.” They both grinned at each other.

“You’re on!” Seth suddenly shouted, and raced over to to Kendra’s bedside table, pulling out boxes of glitter and pink dye. “Do we have a large enough bag to carry all Warren’s mirrors? He has A LOT.” Kendra nodded. “That brings me to my next question. Won’t he see the pink when he takes a shower?”

Kendra thought for a second. “You know how he has that shampoo he uses every day? I checked, and it’s pink, too. Hopefully he won’t notice until Dale kills him. Although we should probably put the dye in his shampoo bottle instead of the shower head.”

“Sound’s foolproof- let’s go!” Seth raced over to the door, still shoving everything in his emergency kit as he ran. Kendra followed just as eagerly. Ever since Zzyzx, Kendra and Seth had felt a lot safer going out at night, and hardly ever even asked for permission to go into the preserve after Grandpa Sorenson had finally caved and shown them both a map of boundaries, where was safe and where wasn’t, and told them to be careful. The path to the cabin was always kept in good repair by Hugo.

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“You ready?” Kendra whispered to Seth, sneaking to the cabin’s front door, drenched due to the rain. After learning that it would be a games night, Vanessa, Dale, and Tanu had all made some form of excuse, and fled the main house to bunk with Warren for the night. While Vanessa and Tanu could sleep through anything, Warren and Dale were notoriously light sleepers.

Seth fished the spare key to the cabin out from under the dead and currently drowning pot plant Warren had insisted on keeping, unlocked the door, and replaced the key. He was inside before Kendra could blink. After several tense minutes, Seth crept out out of the cabin, dragging a heavy sack behind him that must have been filled with Warren’s mirrors, and spread his hands to show that he wasn’t holding the dye any more. For someone who lived in a cabin in the woods, Warren seemed to care an awful lot about his reflection.

“How’d it go?” Kendra whisper-shouted to Seth.

“Fine. They were still holding their phones and pizza, out like Olloch.” Continuing to drag the mirrors off the front porch, the wet sack fell off the last step, making a tinkling, breaking-glass sound as it hit the ground. “Oops.” Seth winced, before freezing as the unmistakable sound of someone waking up followed. Warren’s voice could be heard waking the others up, and cursing as he apparently got whacked with one of Vanessa’s shoes.

“RUN!” Kendra screeched, grabbing Seth’s hand, ditching the broken mirrors, as the people inside the cabin seemed to be running towards the door. Just as they were reaching the edge of the edge of the clearing near the path, Seth looked back, and saw a half-asleep Vanessa opening the door, missing a shoe, and waking up immediately as she saw the siblings escaping.

“QUICK! TANU! WHERE ARE MY DARTS!? THEY’RE GETTING AWAY!” The sound of something heavy falling came from inside the cabin, and Kendra could hear Dale cursing and shouting something about ‘looking where you’re going, and not falling on top of people.’

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They were nearly back at the house when Kendra heard Warren following them, shouting encouragement to the others behind him- “Come on! Let’s get them! Hurry up! They broke my mirrors!”- and other similar phrases. Kendra tackled Seth into a nearby dripping bush, breaking off his complaints with a hand over his mouth as Warren barreled past their hiding place.

Kendra and Seth let out twin sighs of relief.

“I can’t wait to see his face when he finds out about the dye. It’s permanent, too.” Kendra giggled.

“Thanks, sis.” Seth grinned at Kendra, thanking her for saving him from being steam-rolled by his distant cousin, and she returned the smile, water running down their faces.

“No problem. What are siblings for?”

-"Walter!"

 -"Its WARREN!!!" 

[He] got me through high school - Doug [He’d] probably post my bail - Aaron [He’s] the one who'd get me drunk Be next to me in jail - Chris

She's my voice of reason - Sandra [He’s] my biggest fan - Nate She's who [we told], leave the boy And find yourself a man - Jess

She'll keep the bubbles coming - Belle [He’ll] make sure we're on time - Ebon [He’ll] keep my cold feet from running And hide all the red wine - Julian