#poor lizard

It’s about what happened! Pretty accurate!!

Yuuhi: so im trying to process my emotions through magical girl anime

Lizard: oh that’s good, yeah, cry like a magical girl! that helps

Yuuhi: BUT ACTUALLY NO I DON’T WANT TO ANYMORE i have zero feelings and just want to kill everyone for arbitrary reasons so when people die it means nothing to me

Lizard: Yuuhi i am way too tired at this point to act all scandalized and like I believe you anymore can we just like fast forward to the part where you admit you’re full of shit that’s gotta actually happen eventually right

Yuuhi: NO I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT I KILLED LIKE 50 PEOPLE YESTERDAY

Lizard: i have been with you this entire time 

Yuuhi: IT WAS WHEN YOU BLINKED

Spyro’s massive grin when he gets given something is so adorable!

Sin cursed herself and the Twelve as she stood in front of the vault of some wealthy trader’s manse. The manor was empty except for her and all of his belongings. It should have been an easy score. That was what she told herself when she skipped scouting it ahead of time. She muttered under her breath at herself, “Oh yea... super easy, don’t need to prep any.. it’ll save me time and a headache to skip casing the place.” She facepalmed, the soft gloves on her hands muting the sound then went up to the safe and examined it again.

The actual lock itself wasn’t a problem. She had broken this kind plenty of times before. The problem was that the merchant had enough gil to pay the Thaumaturge’s guild to trap the damn thing. “Llymlaen’s sea wrinkled tits... I hate mage locks.” There was usually a trick to them. Some magic word that undid the incantation, or some object that worked as a key. Usually the object was kept on the owner. “Shyte I don’t have time for this.” She unslung the bag from her shoulder and started digging through it. 

She tended to come prepared for any possibility. She had spent her whole life learning how to break into people’s homes and ship’s cabins to take what they prized most. She specialized in item retrieval. Never mind that Seth had taught her these things to steal things from people breaking the code. She rolled her eyes hearing Seth’s lessons in her head, Ya only bite back wha’ swads ‘as bitten agains’ th’ code, lass. Yea well, the code didn’t apply in Ul’dah. Twelve knew they needed rogues in Ul’dah, but crooked was the way business was done here. It was practically a religious calling to stab each other in the back to get more wealth.

“There you are...” She pulled out the small cage with a tiny lizard in it. “Sorry, this is gonna hurt, but better you than me.”  The small lizard was pulled from the cage, then the cage was chucked back in her back. “Was nice knowing ya greenie.” She tossed the poor lizard at the magical barrier, needing to see what sort of magic she was dealing with. There was a pop, then a sound like water dropping into a deep well before a sizzle confirmed her suspicions. The poor dead lizard was kicked aside, charred by the lightning aspected trap. 

She dug into her bag again and pulled out a large cluster of lightning aspected crystal that had magical runes carved into it, then took a deep breath, “Fuck this is gonna hurt. Stupid saving time..stupid lazy Miqo.” Luckily she was at least wearing gloves. Taking a deep breath she pressed the crystal into the vault door, concentrating on channeling the trap into the crystal. There was a loud pop, then the sizzling started. “Come on.....”  

Luckily the occupant of the house was out for the evening, because the resulting explosive reaction was loud enough to wake the dead. The crystal she had used had blown to pieces, black soot covered her face, and her hair stood up in wild directions. There was also a large hole in the vault now and her gloves were shreds of leather and cotton that still smoked. “I hate mages.. I hate mages...” She kept muttering the words under her breath while ripping off the tatters of her gloves. The hole in the vault gave easier access to the lock, it only took her a few moments to get the whole thing open. Inside she found exactly what she had expected. Business papers that would ruin the man, though many of them were charred, piles of gil, and cases filled with gems and jewelry. There was also a strange little wooden chocobo in there. She left the chocobo, probably sentimental. She wasn’t a complete asshole. The gil and jewels though, those were hers. 

She grinned at one of the necklaces as she opened the case, “Oh yea... that doesn’t match your completion at all. I’ll have to relieve you of it.” Riches were stuffed into her bag and she pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and wiped down all the surfaces that she had touched. Then for comedic effect she picked up the charred lizard from the ground and put it on top of the wooden chocobo. “Perfect... time to go.”