#poor chat

BONUS

Extra BONUS

Anybody recognize her? 😂

After a disappointing vacation to Africa, Nana decided to visit Paris instead. There were less bad kitties there.

Plagg suddenly sneezed. Adrien felt a chill down his spine and raised the aircon temperature.

Nana liked Paris. The culture and friendly Parisians were charming, she was even getting addicted to the goodies at the Dupain-Cheng patisserie. She decided to visit there every day to try a new treat.

Marinette was such a darling girl that she even gave Nana a homemade Christmas present for being such a regular customer.

The only thing annoying Nana were the frequent akumas and that bad black kitty.

Not that the akumas ever attacked her. They just disrupted her holiday itinerary. And she is not impressed by a flirty kitty distracting a serious heroine.

One day, nearing Christmas, Nana had just neared the patisserie to give Marinette one of her handmade scarves. They both love to bond about the joys of knitting. When she saw a girl in ugly orange play a flute, before suddenly turning into Marinette, but with an evil smile.

Ugh. Another akuma. But this one trying to frame Marinette? Unacceptable.

As Volpina started wrecking the bakery (the real Marinette was outside giving gifts to the homeless and orphanages), Nana suddenly came in and said, “Bad akuma!”

To Volpina’s surprise, the little old lady whacked her in the head with a surprisingly heavy purse, breaking her illusion in a puff of orange smoke.

Nana: framing a sweet girl on Christmas Eve? Unforgivable! Take that! And that!

Basically Nana gives Volpina a major beat down.

Tom: Nana, stop, she’s just a girl!

Nana: she’s an akuma with a magical suit.

Tom: true...but still...

Nana: she framed your daughter

Tom: she’s not worth it

Nana: she still deserves a good smack. In my day, we would have used a cane.

I think a cane would be preferable to her purse...

Volpina: Hawkmoth, help!

The akuma left Lila alone. Nana had to stop now. But Lila was still bruised without a miraculous cure.

Lila: what is wrong with you? How could you hurt me?

Nana: how could you frame Marinette? Such a sweet girl, giving gifts to the poor.

Lila: she’s a bully

Nana: ha! As if! I know bullies, and Marinette is definitely not one. You seem like the type.

Lila: I am not! I help Prince Ali with his charities.

Nana: never heard of him. But if you yourself claim to be innocent, why the desire for revenge, huh?

Lila: it was Hawkmoth!

Nana: he only persuades you to do what you already want to do!

Lila: no, I-

Nana smacked Lila on the face again. “And that’s for still trying to frame Marinette on Christmas Eve!”

Lila burst into tears and ran away, terrified of the old lady. It’s not like she can turn people on an elderly lady...especially when they also seem either awed or petrified of her.

Hawkmoth felt Volpina’s pain and wondered what would happen if he akumatized the old lady...maybe another day...he called back his akuma.

Nathalie looked up when Gabriel left his lair. “No new akuma? What happened to Miss Rossi’s petty jealous tantrum?”

Gabriel: she got beat up by an old lady

Nathalie: I wish I could have seen it

Gabriel: I’m pretty sure I saw a customer filming it.

Nathalie: do you think Lila’s resulting embarrassment will be worth an akuma?

Gabriel:...you just want to watch her get beat up again, don’t you?

Nathalie: I’m the one who has to spend more time with her at photoshoots. The brat is insufferable and exhausting. And she never shuts up! If she’s not bragging, she’s whining.

Gabriel: mmm....consider it an extra Christmas present then.

True to form, the video of Nana beating up Volpina before calling out Lila for wanting to frame Marinette got a million hits within ten minutes. Lila’s accusations about Marinette being a bully are in direct contrast to her public actions giving free presents and food. Nana’s remark about how Hawkmoth only encouraged her inner desires also struck home. Lila wanted to hurt Marinette. If she were really a victim, she would want justice/revenge and truth, not framework. That’s not how previous bullied-victims-turned-akumas had done. Stoneheart and Evillustrator sought revenge, not framing. Lady Wifi and Silencer sought truth.

Confronted by all the negative comments, Lila is transformed back into Volpina to frame Nana as a wacko old lady.

She returns to the patisserie with her new disguise and wrecks the shop, insulting Marinette’s family in the process.

Marinette correctly suspects this is a vengeful Volpina rather than the real Nana, who mentioned she would be on a museum tour.

Nana learns of the imposter and asks her fellow tour groupées to help clear her name. They all post her true whereabouts and declare her innocence.

Chat Noir is alarmed at this and runs to the museum to protect Nana because obviously Volpina will be after her.

To everyone’s surprise, Nana is not welcoming towards the hero offering her a lift to safety. Instead he is the next one to receive a purse in the face.

Nana: bad kitty! Didn’t your parents teach you to treat your elders with respect? Learn to ask for permission before carrying me around like a bride across the city! And you think an old lady can’t take care of herself? Give us more credit! Don’t assume we are all fragile and vulnerable. I can take care of myself!

Ladybug arrives.

Ladybug: Nana! Oh, I’m so glad you’re alright. Um...why are you hitting Chat Noir with a ruler?

Nana: this bad kitty needs to learn manners.

Ladybug: Chat, say you’re sorry. But Nana, we can’t ask you to fight in this battle for us. It’s our job to take care of you. Which is a shame because you are really good at kicking akuma butt.

Nana patted Ladybug’s cheek. “Such a sweet girl. Don’t worry. I can check out the gift store and hide in there. But that faker will probably find me there. Why not use me as bait?”

Rena shows up. “That’s what I’m here for.”

Rena plays her flute and transforms into Nana.

Nana hummed, eyeing her doppleganger. “Not bad.”

Volpina does show up, intent on proving she can take on an old lady. Come on, she has agility, she should have some strength too.

Only Nana turns out to be an angry Rena.

When Lila is deakumatized, both Rena and Nana tear into her for lying and framing an old lady. And yes, the matter is clear that Lila and Ladybug are not best friends at all.

There are videos of this, of course. And some commenters join the cause to unravel Lila’s outrageous lies, helpfully told by their classmates.

It is enough to gather the attention of the embassy. Mrs Rossi is ashamed of her daughter and agrees to send her back home because clearly she will be very negative in this city for a while now.

Not that home is any better since her videos have gone viral all around the world.

Lila is sentenced to homeschooling where she is safe. But to prevent her from learning of her own infamy, all electronics are confiscated. Lila herself knows any dreams of fame and riches are now dashed unless she wants to turn to crime.

She will have to undergo a major physical transformation and get a new name if she wants to re-enter society....after she is cleared by her psychiatrist that is...

Back in Paris, Chat wonders why the old lady seems to hate him. Then he finds a news article about her beating up a lion.

the charm:

*******************************************************

Chat: no one will interrupt my night tonight! I have a surprise for Marinette.

Ladybug: GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE YOU STUPID KITTY OR I SWEAR I WILL TEAR YOU INSIDE OUT

Like I get that she doesn’t like Chat, but that doesn’t mean that he’s completely insignificant. I genuinely feel so bad for him. All he wants is some compassion from his lady and what does she do? (Replaces him with Rena, doesn’t wait for him, throws the poor cat in a garbage can, etc.)

Guarantee that later it’s going to bite lb in the ass when she actually needs him and he’s not there because he’s given up on her.

If Emperor met Scarlet Lady and Chat noir?

Now that would be funny.

Emperor just finished robbing a bank and these two heroes show up.

Emperor Looks them over and sees he really has nothing to worry about. One of them is clearly exhausted and the other is all bark no bite.

“I don't have time for you.” Emperor dismisses.

Cue angry Scarlet trying to Prove that she is someone he needs to make time for.

Chat noir had to step in to save Scarlet, who found herself tied to a pole with her own Yo-yo.

Chat noir being more experienced in this au would give Emperor more of a fight, but. Freeze Frame and he is out of there. Leaving both heroes tied up and very annoyed