#pooproblems

Congratulations Junebug for no longer leaving poop smears on my bed! 😘💩🐶#bostonterrier #dogsofvine #pooproblems #corprophagia

Gather round children, it's time for another flashback! This is a story about a young girl in trouble, and a young boy who comes to her rescue. As a young girl, I had many health problems. Mostly involving my bowels. The problem was that my bowels were really shitty. Get it? Bowel pun Really though, my stomach and entire digestive system were worthless. I threw up a lot, and pooped maybe once a week, if that. I didn't realize this wasn't normal until I was an adult. But don't worry, now my poop game is on point. But as a child, constipation was just a fact of life. So one time when I was about thirteen, my family was having dinner at another family's house. Of course this was the time when my weekly poop happened. My brother and the son of the house were in his room video gaming, and my parents and the parents of the house were in the kitchen card gaming. Usually when we came to dinner at this house, my time was spent sitting on the living room floor or outside with the dogs. I was a weird, loner kid. Anyways, I felt the poo of the week coming up on deck and it wasn't a situation I could hold until I got home, so I had to "take the plunge" and just go. I was in the bathroom for a WHILE and when the deed was finally done, I attempted to flush my nuclear missile only to discover it was too much for the plumbing to handle. I started panicking and looked around frantically for a plunger to unstop the toilet hole, but alas there was none to be seen. I crept out of the bathroom and snuck up to my mother to tell her the situation. Her solution was to announce to the other parents in the room that I had clogged the toilet. Thanks, Mom. The other mom then called her son from his room to come help. This would have been less embarrassing had I not been mildly in love with him at the time. Most young girls dream of being rescued by an attractive boy when they're in trouble, but it usually doesn't involve poop. In fact it never involves poop. Ever. My story, however, does. The gallant young lad so nobly took up this task with a horrified look on his face and several glares of disgust directed in my direction. He grumbled furiously and gagged once or twice before my gargantuan poo finally relented. The poo prince then wiped the sweat from his brow, looked me in the eyes and said "You're disgusting." He went back to his room, and I lived crappily ever after.