Ocellus: We’re getting closer and closer to graduation day, so it’s high time we all start looking at college.
Sandbar: Um, Ocellus? I think you mean ‘colleges’?
Ocellus: Don’t be a stupid, Sandbar. That would imply we’re not all going to the same one!
Sandbar: Oh, this is going to be a whole thing, isn’t it?
Gallus: Why are you so obsessed with making sure we all go to the same college?
Ocellus: (chokes out Gallus) Because I don’t like changes to my environment.
Gallus: Alright! Understood! Put me down! I don’t like choking in this context!
Ocellus: (letting go of Gallus) Now, while it is important we go to a good school, it’s also important we all go to a school we’re all capable of attending. So I have selected Manehattan University.
Cozy Glow: M.U. is actually one of my fallbacks.
Ocellus: BE GRATEFUL I INCLUDED YOU!!
Ocellus: Now then, some of you could do with raising your grades. I’m not gonna name names, but Sandbar and Silverstream.
Sandbar: I’m present.
Silverstream: And I’m a gift!
Ocellus: Sandbar, I took one look at your GPA and promptly threw up in my mouth.
Sandbar: Yeah, it, uh… It does that.
Ocellus: We’re gonna get you on adderall and hope it sticks. Don’t ask where the prescription comes from, I have people. Silverstream?
Silverstream: (batting eyelashes) Yes, Mommy-Celly?
Ocellus: I am literally not a miracle worker, we’re gonna hack the school’s mainframe.
Silverstream: Yay! Crimes!
Ocellus: Smolder, your best hope is pursuing an athletic scholarship through cheerleading. Are you familiar with the terms CTE or ACL?
Smolder: Nope!
Ocellus: Let’s keep it that way. Now go practice jumping off of high places and trying not to break your neck.
Smolder: Bitchin! I do that already!
Gallus: Y’know, Ocellus, I hate to be that guy, but I was actually thinking of taking a gap year-
Ocellus: (pimp-slaps him) Go ahead. Say it again. I flipping dare you.
Gallus: You know what, higher education sounds great all of a sudden!
Ocellus: And if I ever hear you say different, I’m going to staple your beak to your paws and sell you as a tchotchke!
Gallus: Hahaha, I do not feel safe…
Ocellus: Believe in the schedule, my friends! We’re all going to die on the exact same day at the ripe age of 81 after spending our lives in a six-person completely non-sexual polycule!
Swift Foot: (poking her head) Can it be seven?
Ocellus: Maybe! I’ll look through the schedule and see if I can fit you in!
Swift Foot: Yes! Take that personal demons!
