#poly asks

I was super stoked to stumble across these asks specifically for polycules!!

I saved these asks two months ago and am just now finding the time and energy to sit and answer them.

I haven’t been that active lately but suddenly tonight I had a bit of free time and started reading through these and got so excited to answer them!

There are 65 questions and I tend to be long winded, so I’m going to do them a few at a time so you’re not reading a book by the time I’m done.

Ok, let’s dig in!!

I’m answering for my Bad Romance gang, obviously. Here are the first ten questions.

How many members are in the polycule? How are they related to each other? Feel free to draw a flowchart. I think that I already answered this here in depth, so I’ll try to stay brief. There are five primary members: Liam, Drake, Max, Riley, and Rashad. Six if you count Siobhan, an OC I made up that in my mind is still around, but I haven’t really written much about her. Riley and Liam are married and they are the king and queen of Cordonia. Riley, Max, and Liam are a throuple. Max is officially Riley’s personal assistant and top royal advisor. Drake is only with Riley romantically. Drake and Liam are best friends and have been since childhood. Drake is the head of Riley’s Queen’s Guard. Rashad was originally Liam’s friend but is now Riley’s lover and her personal lawyer. Liam and Rashad are still friendly, but Drake and Rashad do not like each other. Siobhan is Riley’s friend with benefits. Siobhan and Drake have been intimate with each other in a threesome with Riley. I might expand on that relationship, eventually. Hana is Riley’s best friend. They slept together once, but it didn’t affect their friendship. Hana is aromantic. She and Liam actively dislike each other, but try to get along for Riley’s sake.

Did the relationship start polyamorous, or was it a monogamous relationship that eventually opened? Oh, it started monogamously with Riley breaking up with Max to date Liam, then descended into a toxic hot mess when Liam broke her heart but then refused to let her go (there was an iron-clad marriage contract involved).

If it started monogamous, how did the process of opening the relationship go? Well, basically Riley just did whatever she wanted and tried her best to push Liam away. He refused to be pushed though and eventually agreed to a Cordonian Arrangement (a clause added to the marriage contract that legally opens it). Once he developed his own feelings for Max, and realized that you can, in fact, love more than one person at the same time, he chilled out a lot with the jealousy.

Are there any mono-poly relationships in the polycule? Aaaghh! Yes!! Drake remains mostly monogamous (he has engaged in a threesome, but he doesn’t think that counts since Riley was one of the participants; it was her idea, and she chose the other person).

What “shape” is the polycule? A triad, a “V”, a straight line of metamours, or incomprehensible? Listen. It’s complicated lol. Again, I went into great detail here. Basically63, Liam, Max, and Riley are a triad and they are nesting partners. But since Drake is also a nesting partner, even though he’s mono and only with Riley, I count them as a quad. Rashad is Riley’s lover and he is solo-poly with lots of other partners, so he is not a nesting partner but part of the extended polycule.

Where do each of the members land on the “solo poly” to “entwined” spectrum? As stated above, Rashad is solo poly. He dates very casually but is married to his job. His only deep emotional entanglement is Riley but even for her, he wouldn’t change his lifestyle. They work because she would never ask him nor want him to. After all, she has (functionally) three husbands already. Riley, Drake, Liam, and Max are about as entangled as it gets. They live together, work together, and often share a bed.

Where do each of the members land on the “free agent” to “community oriented” spectrum? Rashad and Riley are free agents. Siobhan too. Max and Liam are very community oriented. And, despite the grumpy exterior and being annoyed a lot by Max, Drake is pretty community oriented as well.

How did each member realize they were polyamorous? Did they always know, or was there some sort of epiphany? Max always knew…  he was poly before he met Riley. He’s the one who told her about it when she asked him what was wrong with her for having feelings for more than one person at a time. Riley figured it out quickly. Liam took a little longer, but he got there eventually. What started as a one-time threesome with Riley and Max turned out to be a potent combination of physical attraction and a lifelong friendship that ended with him falling hard and fast for Max, with Riley’s enthusiastic blessing.

Do any of the current members practice hierarchical polyamory? Who are the primary partners? Oh, yes. I understand that a lot of people find hierarchy unethical but if you ask Liam, he will tell you that he is Riley’s husband and furthermore, he is the king and Riley is his queen making their marriage and the ruling of Cordonia the first priority. Mostly everyone is on board with that and it works. Not always though. Riley would say she loves each of them differently but she does not love one more than another. Max is pretty submissive in personality, and since he’s in love with both Riley and Max, he would not dispute that Liam and Riley’s relationship is primary, he’s just happy to be part of it. Drake’s biggest issue in the beginning was seeing himself as NOT primary. Being monogamous, he saw her marrying Liam as her choosing Liam over him, and it took him leaving for a while to come to terms with it. He still struggles with it from time to time, but now they have open communication and are always able to work through it.

I am in a 2 year relationship with my partner but I have recently (over the past 4 months) found myself falling for another person AS WELL AS my partner.

My question was I like these people both very much but I'm not sure the person I've caught feelings for would consider themselves polyamorous. Is it possible for them to be monogamous (towards me) while I am dating more than one person? Is there another term for that? Or is it still polyamorous just in denial?

Thank you!!!

Is the relationship healthy?

Who gives the best advice?

Do A and B have a stronger bond with each other? Or do C and B or C and A have a stronger bond? Or are A, B, and C close together [equally]?

And even though it's not on the list, I'm curious: How do they get together as a throuple?

Oooh, this is a good one! I actually haven't thought much about SangChengQing despite writing one fic for them yet, so it's a good reason to do so.

Yes, definitely. All three of them balance one another out really well, learn to communicate, and make each other better human beings. Wen Qing helps the other two with their rage issues (yeah, Nie Huaisang might not scream and yell, but he can hold a grudge like nobody's business). Nie Huaisang can help the other two with their workaholic tendencies. Jiang Cheng probably stands up to others on his lovers' behalf because they're his people and he's ride-or-die for his people.

Probably Wen Qing, though Huaisang also surprises both his partners with his insights.

Initially, I'd say that Jiang Cheng has a stronger bond with either Wen Qing or Nie Huaisang than they do with each other. Huaisang may have less of a problem with the Wens than his da-ge, but she's still part of the family that killed his dad. Wen Qing is also kind of suspicious of Huaisang, probably for similar reasons. However, they get over it and become very close as well.

Hmm. I kinda have an AU pictured in my head in which they all get together at Cloud Recesses. Huaisang sees that Jiang Cheng has his eye on Wen Qing and vice versa. He's also probably initially into Jiang Cheng, but can appreciate that Wen Qing is both physically attractive and has cool vibes, so proposes that the three try getting together. And it goes...really, really well. Well enough that he rolls up to the Unclean Realm after the little excursion to fight the fairy statue being all "Heyyyyyy, da-ge, you didn't betroth me to anyone, right? Well, guess what? I want to get married now" "Huaisang are you in trouble? What did you do?" But as a result, Qinghe Nie is aligned by marriage with Yunmeng Jiang and the Dafan Wen branch of the family (yes, this is awkward for Mingjue, but his brother's happiness is the only thing in the world that can supersede his hatred of the Wens). Obviously, this will change the Sunshot Campaign. A LOT. Because it is me and canon made me sad enough, it'll change things for the better.

- "Who is the closest to the child" for Nie parents? - "Who sleeps in the middle" for 3zun?

Thank you so much for allowing me to indulge in some headcanons :D

For the Nie parents - for context, I tend to name them Nie Shizheng (aka sect leader Nie), He Yaling (aka Madame Nie), and Nie Ziniao (former opera performer/current concubine who came from a sad background and voluntarily took the Nie name when she was brought to the Unclean Realm): The answer is Nie Ziniao - Nie Shizheng and He Yaling both have sect duties on top of being parents, but Nie Ziniao has nobody but the boys to dedicate herself to, so it's only natural that they're closer.

Thorin and Ingemar are magnetic. Despite seeming to be too different, these opposites do in fact attract. Together, you form a powerful trio and are very well respected.

Eydis and Majida are comfort. Two fearsome women in their own fields, others might be confused how they get along, but that's because they're not privy to the inside of your home. They don't see Eydis and MC braiding Majida's hair, and they don't hear Majida singing quietly as the stars come out.

And for the poly ask I want to know who will kiss the another awake for Arthur/Gwyar.

You know, cova, your MC keeps getting so many points: first they gift Morien very cool weaponized canes and now they obediently go get their injuries checked...

Morien is going to love them so much.

("You're very welcome" they would murmur back with a pleased and adoring glint in their eyes.)

The Polyships

Archie/Carmen

The Villain. Archie and Carmen have the irrational fear that one day you will disappear without saying anything so they want to close while you sleep. Archie is a cuddler, but Carmen not so much, so she prefers to take one of the sides in case she is not in the mood for cuddling.

Adhy/Rowan

Adhy. Rowan would rather be ready to jump on the defense of Adhy and the Villain in case of any danger, so they sleep closest to the door. Adhy, on the other hand, prefers to be surrounded by those she loves as she sleeps, because it makes her feel safe.

Milo/Vicky

The Villain. Vicky needs to sleep with her back against the wall, and enjoys cuddling, so being on the middle doesn’t work well for her. Milo, on the other hand, needs to be ready to leave as moment’s notice in case one of his ravens have a message for him, so he takes the side closest to the door.

Blake/Val:

Yep! The poly relationship planned are FatimaxIsla, IslaxDanny, and NicoxDanny! The polyships are gonna be different in terms of pace and are basically an entirely different relationship than the solo-ships if just because throwing different characters into the mix will definitely change scenes around (so I basically have seven ROs, not just the four XD)

With Nico and Danny's polyship, it's conflicted bc of Nico's withdrawal and hesitance, not just towards entering a relationship with the mc (even though they're bad at telling themself no, looking at you society/farm smooch scene) but also entering a relationship with Danny.

Danny, however, is eager and earnest, between them and mc I'm sure they'll win Nico over ;D

How to pursue a polyship is to flirt with both options/state your interest in some way. The two objects of your affections will notice and some characters will discuss with each other behind closed doors what it means (fatima and isla, for example, if noticing an mc propositioning the both of them will talk with each other about if they want to take that step not just with the mc, but with each other too) while others will kind of fumble over trying to figure things out and the discussion will happen more in-game (nico and danny bc nico is emotionally constipated and yearns but no its a bad idea but yes--no--maybe?? ;A;)