that’s not how you talked when you were fifteen, in love with boys in love with other boys,
in love with small words thrown like dice.
you used to spin your lead tongue to gold
author’s alchemy: do you remember?
nights i read your shitty, clumsy work all wasted
cliches gone to the annals of your brain
labyrinth turned filing cabinet
fool turned realist — what must you think of me?
girl in the body of a High School Graduate.
“what’s your major, honey?”
well, you see, i read patti smith’s memoir and i thought we had a mapplethorpe thing going on.
I thought we could kiss without
loving everything. i thought
we could have an apartment,
and your words could hit puberty out on the fire escape,
and we’d have a polaroid camera to remember ourselves by, our
pretty little Roaring Twenties.
dreams stuck in pipes, halfway to sewers
isopropyl saliva. if you kissed me now, i’d gag.
you suck off your boyfriend with that mouth?
what, is he in marketing?
some very pretty people might love me for a minute, darling
then: drug overdose. 27 club.
implode in a ball of beatnik justice. rain down dice and paper scraps and bits of intestine
(turns of phrase, clever things)