#pointless babble

Which kinda makes it funny that I have an old singing snap where I would... well record myself singing. But I barely had anyone added, it was just a place to put my singing for no one to listen to and weirdly enough it made me feel better. I mean I never went back to listen to the recording but like I said it made me feel better for some reason I guess.

in other news I LOVE THIS FREAKING CITY. I went to one of the east Asian markets in town and it’s huge! (compared to the old one I had) they even had live sea food for sale like holy fuck. They have several other Asian markets I haven’t even seen yet and Mexican and African food places I’m excited to visit. I got some veggie buns and red bean buns and the purple sweet potatos I’ve been missing. I’m in such a good mood today and there’s nobody I can really talk about it to because nobody would probably care “hey guess what things are still awesome, and now the weather.” I really, really want that freaking drawing tablet but it’s 500 dollars and I know I shouldn’t but.... fuck. I’m even considering going back to my old “job” temporarily to earn enough to get it... blargh. You ever see yourself acting like kind of an asshole and you’re like “ok but stop” and then you just, keep being an asshole? That was fun. I’m gonna try to be less of an asshole in the future. Sometimes anger is like word vomit and you’re way more transparent than you want to be. There’s this classmate of mine who’s a lot younger and sometimes she’s just... oblivious? and it’s like goddamn man can you get on a professional level for a bit? I’m not entirely sure how she got this job? But that happened. So. I am probably being too hard on her. I think she’s noticed.

this is gonna be the most stressful week i’ve had in a long time i owe 2 very broke people a lot of money that they desperately need back i have to move in 5 days and i have no money to do it with all of my bills are late i haven’t even started cleaning or packing i’m starting a new job which comes with a pay increase but i wont’ see a paycheck until 3 weeks after i move during which time i’ll have to survive somehow my car might die at any moment and desperately needs to be taken to a mechanic, which I would like to do HERE since I trust the mechanic I have access to, but will have no money to do that i need to cut my hair, find a minimizer bra, buy glasses and go to the doctor some time magically before i leave??? like any of that is gonna fucking happen and there’s that little detail about how i have literally 1 outfit that would work in a professional setting, when i’ll be going there 5 days a week. oh also i haven’t filed my taxes yet, which i am also behind on and guaranteed to owe additional money for both state and federal, which i also don’t have. nor do i have time to file. oh also i am moving 9 hours away from my friends and family who i haven’t seen in months and will likely not see again for many more months. In order for me to visit them I’ll need to have consecutive days off along side theirs and rent a car and drive the 9 hours and spend ...12 waking hours to see them?? and then drive back home another 9 hours. Last time a trip like this cost 500 dollars. just kill me this shit isn’t worth it, jfc there’s literally no way I’m gonna get even the bulk of this done let alone all of it since it’s all incredibly fucking necessary, yes even the hair cut and glasses bullshit, believe it or not.

Homestuck means so much to so many of us and I think that’s freaking incredible. I can honestly say I wouldn't recognize myself or my life without it just because of the chain reaction it caused. I start a new job in two weeks that will actually allow me to save for retirement and without Homestuck, I wouldn’t have it. The only reason I even thought to apply there is because one of my best friends today read Homestuck and I found him on a dating site and we bonded over it. Now I’m moving several states away to go stay with him and start my career. Hell, without Homestuck I might never have become a feminist. I joined tumblr specifically because that’s where large portions of the fanworks were posted and I inadvertently was exposed to feminism and intersectionality. I learned about racism and abelism and became both more politically and socially aware. Holy shit I discovered my SEXUALITY because of a homestuck fanfiction! I learned about asexuality and demisexuality and for the first time in my life I was given context to my romantic and sexual relationships. I know Homestuck isn’t directly responsible for any of these things but it is really cool to consider just how much it’s affected so many people and idk. I kind of love that. Four for you homestuck, you go homestuck.