#pm posting

I miss cassidy. I feel like i fucked up the best relationship ive ever had. I miss our adventures with lucas, I miss being close to her, I miss cuddling on the couch and watching adventure time. I wish I never institutionalized myself, I regret it so badly. Everyone says their proud of me but i genuinely cant tell how helpful it was. And now im 91k in debt with an ex that im still madly in love with. Its been fucking months, and I still stay up late thinking about how much I wish I was still with her.

I wish I could find femmes around me. Riley is sweet and I like her, but Cassidy is still the prettiest femme ive ever seen and I hate that I still think that. I hate how much I still love her.

I do hope I start liking Riley more. But I also want a femme so bad. And im worried Riley will be put off by my gender fuckery and kinks. She is VERY sweet but I kind of just think she might not be what I want long term. And if its not long term should I even try? Is it deceiving or shitty to date someone you might not want to stay with? It definitely causes more pain for the other person and i don't want that.

“Is this… am I being kidnapped?” Eiden chimed in. “‘Cause I don’t mind some uh… more risky play, but it’d be cooler if you’d asked first!”

In which Eiden finds himself in a strange place: tied up, blindfolded, in a car with two bickering strangers.

a new installment of my nu: carnival hero/villain AU, now with more ✨ context ✨