#pluto natal

❤︎ With 8th and 12th house synastry connections, you might never actually date the person, yet the emotions they evoke within you can feel as profound and intimate as if you had.

❤︎Un-evolved water dominant or water Moon individuals can become deeply attached to the experience of feeling something intensely, especially if they also have strong Earth placements in their Sun or rising sign. The emotional world becomes a source of validation, meaning, and identity, even when those emotions are painful.

❤︎ Pisces-dominant individuals may fixate on guilt, self-sacrifice, or emotional suffering. They can struggle with self-loathing, escapism, or unconsciously placing themselves in the role of the victim during difficult situations. While unhealthy, these emotional states can feel strangely safe because they are familiar. Pisces energy often absorbs emotional pain deeply, and over time, suffering itself can begin to feel emotionally recognizable or comforting. ❤︎ Scorpio-dominant individuals often seek emotional intensity because intense feelings make them feel alive and emotionally real. They may sit with sadness, longing, or emotional extremes because quieter emotional states can feel empty or disconnected to them. What appears to be “numbness” is not always emotional absence; rather, their nervous system may associate intensity with emotional validity. Without that deep emotional surge, they may interpret calmness as feeling nothing at all. As a result, they can unconsciously gravitate toward emotionally consuming experiences simply to reconnect with a sense of humanity and emotional depth. ❤︎ Cancer-dominant individuals tend to hold onto emotions internally rather than expressing them immediately. They often suppress feelings until they reach an emotional breaking point, at which emotions pour out all at once. Their moods can shift rapidly because they are highly emotionally responsive to their environment and inner state. Cancer placements may alternate between extreme warmth and emotional withdrawal depending on how safe or hurt they feel. In emotionally painful moments, their feelings can easily overpower logic or objectivity, causing them to react instinctively rather than rationally. (That can resonate with other water moons too)

❤︎ 12th House stellium/placements (especially Moon, Venus or Sun) oftentimes deal with being ostracized when they are interconnected with a group of people. This may not happen right away, but more oftentimes than not, if someone in the group doesn't isolate them from others, fear (usually based on past experiences) will cause the 12th House native to isolate themselves.

Usually, when the 12th House native isolate themselves it's because they have dealt with a similar situation before, to where if they didn't leave, they would have been left instead. 12th house placements deal with a lot of pain when it comes to building any relationship with others. Platonic, familial, romantic, there's always constant road blocks, or set backs. These people naturally chooses everyone over themselves and because of that, karmic lessons repeat.

It's self written and self sabotaging to where if they don't walk away from you, you will walk away from them, 9/10 walking away is beneficial because most people in your life are mirrors of your deepest fears and insecurities. It's hard to build a sense of self concept when you are constantly struggling to form any real authentic connection with another. You likely desire and yearn for a relationship (platonic or romantic) and it's hard to tell yourself you do deserve better when everyone around you shows you otherwise. Always talk to your guides or loved ones.

Advice: The universe does not want you to suffer, you are divinely protected however in the moment; when you compare yourself to the life of others, it won't feel that way. Write your feelings and make sure you validate any and all pain or hurt you carry❤︎

If you do not resonate with the above statements that is okay! I have a 12H Venus, Mercury, Pluto, Chiron, Lilith with my Scorpio Moon exactly squaring Neptune. If you don't relate I am glad!

❤︎ 12th house placements also deal with intense admiration (usually from people who do not speak to them openly) to intense animosity (again from people who do not speak to them). If you are not admired by others, you are questioned by them. If you are too kind, one person may view you as "fake" or "inauthentic." Then the next person will view you as "perfect," and someone who can do or say no wrong. These constant idealizations or false projections can make it feel impossible to keep up with. This also ties in to the fact that you may have tendencies to self abandon yourself. If you have dealt with trauma from others misconstruing your character, or by feeling like a burden when you state your needs, you're likely not familiar with sticking up for yourself; or with saying what is on your mind. The more you abandon your internal needs or thoughts the harder it is to create a confident self concept. It's a cycle.

❤︎ Venus-ruled natives—Libra and Taurus risings/stelliums along with individuals who have Venus, the Sun, or the Moon in the 2nd or 5th House; often receive a significant amount of external validation, admiration, and social approval from others.These placements can create a natural sense of desirability, charm, beauty, likability, or emotional appeal that attracts people toward them without much conscious effort. Others may project value onto them automatically, viewing them as someone whose attention, affection, or approval feels important to obtain.

These individuals may rarely experience a lack of attention in relationships, friendships, or social environments. People are often willing to pursue them, maintain connections with them, or seek validation from them even when the Venus-dominant person is not giving the same level of emotional investment in return. In some cases, this can lead them to unconsciously put minimal effort into maintaining relationships because they are accustomed to others doing the emotional labor of keeping the connection alive. There is often an assumption whether conscious or unconscious that affection, interest, or admiration will continue to come to them regardless. This is especially noticeable with strong Taurus or 2nd House energy, where personal value and desirability can feel inherently stable, and with 5th House placements, which tend to attract attention, admiration, romantic interest, and social fascination naturally.

❤︎ 8th house synastry deals with constant loops and cycles. If you're not saying you are over them, you are wanting them.

❤︎ Neptune and 12th house synastry: "You are perfect for me; you feel like everything I could ever wish for in someone."

If you're avoidant, this feeling can be terrifying because it brings a sense of inadequacy, as if you could never live up to the idealized version of yourself they see. You'll long for them deeply, but the way they look at you may feel unsettling, foreign, or out of place. Even if they seem like your dream person, self-doubt can drive you to run. You might fear disappointing them or feel you’ll never measure up to the partner they deserve. You'll view them as some sort of prize from a distance and you'll search for them in other connections but you'll never allow yourself to choose them, not like they choose you.

If you're anxious, this feeling will strike a familiar chord, it'll resonate so deeply within and letting go will seem impossible. You'll feel this pull toward them, you'll feel as if they’re your muse, your catharsis, and you'll wish that they were your person. Even without words, you'll sense that they want you, and this silent connection will consume your thoughts. You’ll compare the way they make you feel to everyone else, and you'll search for that same intensity in other people's gazes. You’ll sit in your head, wondering if your wishes align with theirs, questioning if they feel the same. Over time, you’ll realize the emotions they stir in you are unmatched, which leads you to hold onto the connection longer than you should, you'll rather wish on the what could be's than accept what is.

❤︎ 1H Chiron indicates that the native has deeply struggled with their self image. Especially if they also have a 3rd house Lilith or a 10th/12th house Sun. Bullying was likely a theme in their early development, confidence lacked, and even if they blossomed into their looks, a part of them may struggle with accepting compliments. They likely will always feel like that insecure little kid who was told they were "not good enough."

❤︎ 12th House/Neptune synastry creates an echo that gets louder when words are not being used. Eye contact and body language holds more weight rather than tangible words.

❤︎ In 12th House synastry, the house person often struggles to fully trust or understand the planet person’s intentions, words, or emotional transparency. Even when the planet person openly expresses affection such as saying “I like you,” the house person may still question the sincerity, depth, or reality of those feelings.

This dynamic usually comes from the inherently unclear and subconscious nature of the 12th House itself. The connection can feel emotionally consuming, intuitive, or psychologically significant, yet simultaneously difficult to define or ground in reality. Because of this, words alone may hold very little weight for the house person. They often look for emotional proof, consistency, or tangible reassurance, yet the relationship may continue to exist in an ambiguous emotional space. This is especially common in connections that lack direct communication or a clear foundation relationships built more on lingering eye contact, unspoken tension, imagined meaning, emotional projection, curiosity, or silent emotional exchanges rather than explicit statements and defined intentions. As a result, the house person can become trapped in uncertainty, constantly analyzing what the planet person truly feels versus what is being projected or imagined. The connection may feel deeply significant internally while remaining externally undefined, which creates confusion, longing, mistrust, or emotional fixation. In many 12th House synastry connections, both people can sense something profound beneath the surface, yet struggle to articulate or fully validate it in a concrete, emotionally secure way.

❤︎ Karmic relationships often act as catalysts for emotional awakening and self-awareness. Before the connection, you may have moved through life with parts of yourself emotionally undeveloped, disconnected, or hidden beneath the surface. The relationship shifts something internally, altering the way you perceive yourself, others, and the emotional depth of life itself.

These connections tend to awaken introspection. Through the other person’s presence, words, energy, or even the pain of the relationship, you begin confronting emotions, fears, desires, and wounds that may have previously remained unconscious. It can feel as though the relationship forces you to look inward in ways you never had before. In many cases, the person becomes symbolic of transformation rather than just romance. Their presence unlocks aspects of your identity, emotional world, and inner complexity that may have otherwise stayed dormant for years. Even if the relationship itself does not last, the emotional awareness it awakened within you often permanently changes the way you experience connection and understand yourself.

❤︎ If you have natal 12th house placements (especially Venus with Chiron) and you deal with a karmic relationship; very often, the pain, longing, loss, or emotional intensity of the relationship becomes a catalyst for inner creation. Through heartbreak or emotional unraveling, you may suddenly develop profound artistic abilities, emotional insight, spiritual awareness, writing talent, creativity, or healing-oriented passions that were quietly waiting beneath the surface. Your pain with this relationship becomes a cathartic release for the collective.

You often become translators of emotional pain. Through art, writing, music, spirituality, psychology, advice, or emotional storytelling, you are able to articulate feelings that many people struggle to put into words themselves. Others may feel deeply understood by you because from this relationship, you have already confronted emotional depths that many people avoid or cannot fully explain. In this sense, the karmic relationship acts less as a simple romantic experience and more as an awakening. The connection pushes them into greater self-awareness, emotional depth, and purpose, eventually allowing them to guide others through similar emotional experiences with compassion and insight.

❤︎ 12th House placements, especially Venus's naturally can pick up what the collective will resonate with most when it comes to music/poetry/thoughts/opinions.

❤︎ One reason water dominant people or emotionally driven people especially those who deeply crave connection yet also fear it; hold onto relationships that do not serve them is because that connection may feel like their only access to emotion. Without feelings for that person, they can experience an overwhelming sense of emptiness or emotional numbness.

On a deeper level, maintaining the connection can create a sense of aliveness and humanity, particularly if they struggle to feel emotionally connected to others. The relationship becomes more than attachment to a person; it becomes attachment to the experience of feeling itself. As a result, walking away from the person can feel like walking away from the possibility of feeling anything at all.

❤︎ Pisces or 12th house placements often turn to writing or art as a means of expressing their inner thoughts, feelings, and longings. The more they feel, the more their creativity flows.

❤︎ If you have water placements or planets in water houses (4th, 8th, 12th), deep emotions are embedded within you. The more you avoid these feelings, the more likely physical symptoms such as anxiety or mental struggles will occur. It's your body’s way of processing the hidden emotions you’ve learned to suppress. These unaddressed feelings can manifest in subtle, physical ways, and it's a reflection of the emotional turmoil beneath the surface.

❤︎ With 8th house synastry, the second and I mean very second there's a emotional block between you two the deep seated desire for them becomes less intense.

Ex: If you also share 12th house synastry with them, parts of their actions will feel like subtle hints that are meant for you, in essence you want to believe you are more important to them than others, and you feel like you are. But once something comes to light or if you were shown that what you thought to be wasn't the case, the realization creates emotional distance and the desire for them (in that moment) shrinks. It feels as if the importance that you thought your presence gave them suddenly means nothing, and from that feeling creates a instant "I'm never speaking to them again" mentality.

❤︎ With the 12th house involved in synastry, their actions may reveal their actual character, and while you are able to clearly see these actions (in a objective sense), you might still feel deeply tied to the version of them you feel them to be exists. You’ll observe their behavior yet convince yourself that someone better lies beneath the surface.

❤︎ With 8th and 12th house synastry, there’s a part of you that feels you’ll never compare to anyone else they encounter. Even if you two never dated, there’s a deep sense that the way they feel when they’re with you is unmatched and it's something you intuitively will feel. It's likely that there will be no set actions or verbal affirmations to confirm this knowing.

❤︎ The natal 2nd House–8th House axis often reflects the difference between what is personally earned, owned, and built versus what is shared, inherited, given, or received through others.

People with strong 2nd House placements often develop security through their own resources, possessions, income, or family stability. The money connected to the 2nd House tends to feel personally owned whether it comes from a career, personal effort, or a family foundation that directly supports their material security. By contrast, strong 8th House placements can indicate resources that come through other people or external systems: inheritance, trusts, insurance, marriage, shared finances, government assistance, payouts, debts, investments, or even money tied to complicated family dynamics. The theme is less “this is mine because I built it” and more “this comes through entanglement, sharing, or dependency.” For example: ❤︎ Person A has an exalted Jupiter in the 2nd House. She comes from a wealthy family; her father is an actor, and she has never experienced financial instability. In adulthood, she also maintains a steady career that independently covers her lifestyle and necessities. Her financial security exists both through family background and through income she personally sustains. ❤︎ Person B has an 8th House stellium. Although she also comes from wealth, the money in her environment is tied to shared family resources, insurance, fraud-related circumstances, and a trust distributed among relatives. Her mother married a rich man and now most family members, including her, rely on that shared trust rather than individually accumulated wealth. Her fiancé now financially supports nearly every aspect of her life. Very little of what she owns comes from her own income or long-term career stability. Even the jobs she has occasionally worked such as atmosphere work—brought in money through tips or support from others, reinforcing the 8th House theme of receiving resources externally rather than generating them independently.

❤︎ People with a Capricorn Moon often grow up learning to approach emotions through control, restraint, or self-protection rather than open vulnerability. In many cases, there can be emotional distance or difficulty with the mother relationship, particularly around feeling emotionally understood, comforted, or validated. For these individuals, emotional transparency may feel unfamiliar or even unsafe. When they try to express deeper feelings, they may experience responses that feel dismissive, emotionally unavailable, overly practical, or disconnected from what they actually need. Over time, this can lead them to shut down emotionally, suppress vulnerability, or become highly guarded with their inner world.

Sometimes the mother may appear emotionally cold, overwhelmed, image-conscious, rigid in her beliefs, or unable to meet the child on an emotional level due to her own limitations. As a result, the Capricorn Moon child can internalize the idea that emotions should be controlled, hidden, or endured silently rather than openly processed. This dynamic can feel especially intense for individuals with strong water placements particularly water risings because they are naturally highly sensitive and emotionally absorbent. Internally, they may feel emotions very deeply, yet simultaneously believe they should suppress or ignore those feelings to maintain composure or avoid rejection. This creates a conflict between emotional depth and emotional inhibition: they feel intensely, but struggle to safely express what they feel.

❤︎ Virgo risings oftentimes will do a cleanse on their social media. They will either follow back a very small fixed amount of people, or they will randomly deactivate their account and remove people as followers. They likely limit their interaction with others from time to time. It's similar to 12th house placements however Virgo risings don't receive as much backlash for isolating or going "ghost."

Schedule a synastry reading with me, or explore my ebooks on 8th and 12th house synastry or shop my universal, specialized cosmic natal and synastry ebook.

You should keep your personal secrets that have affected your emotional state to yourself or until after you’ve healed from it. Frankly I think don’t even try to share it after you’ve healed. Do not open up to your family members or roommates about your lore, ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE HAD PREVIOUS ISSUES. They will use that information to HURT YOU or CONTROL YOU.

I find that living this transit, I’ve let my guard down with family about my private personal life and regretted it deeply. It has negatively affected how they viewed me and damaged our relationship especially when it’s thrown back in my face during an argument. Ha! You will never know me personally again! It has shifted dynamics and opinions of me in negative ways. Imagine telling your sibling or father something hurt you terribly years ago and the minute you upset them that’s the moment they choose to throw back to hurt you? Yeah. Your private life needs to be under the fiercest protection. I’m not sure Pluto will truly allow you to keep things under wraps for too long but at least it’s not you choosing to the hand the knife to your killer.

🌟 The placement of Pluto in your chart can reveal the theme of pain or transformation you might experience in this life—pain that serves as a catalyst for profound internal and mental shifts within yourself.

The depth of pain will be dependent on your own choices; if you choose to ignore red flags the harsher and more severe the wake up call would be.

Pluto in the 5th house: Struggles might emerge from overindulgence in impulsive or immature choices, such as gambling or seeking joy in fleeting pleasures (such as affairs or short term relationships). Poor choices may manifest because there's a need of deep inner child healing, which could cause deeper emotional wounds in the process. The extremes of choosing quick fun can lead into a habit of poor decision making.  Pluto in the 7th house: Challenges and transformative pain often arise through intimate romantic relationships, pushing you to confront deep-seated patterns and fears. If you keep choosing people who won't choose you or if you rely on others for a sense of self, identity or acceptance then the wake up call would be more prominent or severe. Pluto in the 11th house: Painful experiences may come through friendships or involvement in communities, leading to shifts in how you connect with and trust others. If you find yourself relying on others or seeking external validation through communities, friend groups, or social connections, the wake-up call may lead you to recognize your own worth and embrace yourself as you are, without needing acknowledgment from others. Pluto in the 12th house: Ignoring your psyche or mental struggles can lead to self-unraveling. The more you avoid or dismiss your internal mental health setbacks, the deeper and more painful the lessons will become. You may not even be aware of your emotional needs, but the longer you avoid confronting your sensitivity or past wounds—whether from childhood or relationships—the harder it will be to redefine your self-concept and belief system. You may even experience a revelation about yourself after overcoming depression or anxiety, which can help you understand yourself better. However, remember that being introspective and aware doesn't always mean you're truly feeling your feelings. You may know what to think or how to act, but it’s crucial to connect the emotions you've been holding onto with the feelings beneath them.

Pluto placed in less interactive houses may have a less intense theme, but if you also have Chiron in the same house, its influence can become much more prominent and life-changing, amplifying the potential for deep healing or painful growth.

🌟 If you have many inner planets in your 5th, 7th, or 8th house, you're more likely to seek out romantic connections, desire a partner, or long for one—even if you’ve experienced emotional turmoil in your childhood due to your parents or past partners.

🌟 If you have many inner planets in your 1st, 2nd, or 12th house, you’re less likely to be open to a connection. Subconsciously, you might desire or wish for someone to be “your person,” but you may never allow yourself to fully give in.

🌟 With 8th house synastry, the intensity of this connection swings between unspoken loyalty and complete avoidance—one extreme driven by the fear of showing disinterest, and the other by the fear of being a burden. If you’re not preoccupied with displaying your loyalty to them in a room full of people, you find yourself avoiding eye contact or minimizing conversation to maintain a facade of “normalcy”—a normalcy that doesn’t truly exist in this connection.

🌟 Pisces/Scorpio placements may have a strong tendency to seek deep emotional experiences during times of creativity. They often search for a specific feeling or emotional state as a catalyst to create art or writing.

🌟 Aquarius placements, especially Moon or Rising, often struggle with avoidance as one of their worst traits in any relationships they navigate—whether romantic, platonic, or even with themselves.

🌟 Scorpios are known for their extreme loyalty. Once they choose you, they are deeply committed and unlikely to leave unless a traumatic emotional blockage arises within the relationship.

🌟 Scorpio risings can have beautiful striking eyes, and because of that their eyes can heavily influence appearance. Their eyes may even become an ice breaker for conversations/be talked about a-lot.

🌟 Aries + Libra axis turnover rate when it comes to relationships is incredibly high. Moving on to the next can come naturally to them unless they have other placements that contradicts that tendency.

🌟 Air signs need intellectual stimulation; they need to feel excited and curious with you.

🌟 8th House placements (esp. Moon or Sun) or Scorpio placements are incredibly private towards the public. They naturally will not post on social media: no instagram stories, tweets, memes, their thoughts or feelings willingly and openly.

This is because

At a young age their needs, thoughts or wishes were ignored and pushed to the side for others sake and so they now have coped to never share their own inner thoughts or feelings to others.

They've been burned or hurt in the past by someone they've trusted, and now they don't share or openly state their true feelings outwardly towards others.

If they have a Taurus/Libra/Leo IC or Gemini/Sagittarius/placements then the chances of sharing themselves online is more likely.

🌟 In 8th/Pluto + 12th/Neptune house synastry connections, if you two are not on speaking terms sudden lows may occur when you're reminded of what was.

If it's been weeks or months since you've both talked and one random day they watch your story on your social media a sudden longing for them may come.

If you run into them and the conversation didn't amount to what you wished for, a low may come and you'll feel as if the relationship is completely over.

🌟 8th house synastry amounts to constant cycles and loops, if you're not wishing for them, you say you're over them.

There could be an emotional block between you two and the desire for them may diminish but If they look at you for one second the way they used too, the desire for them will arise as if the feeling never left.

🌟 In 12th house and Neptune synastry, you might covertly share song lyrics on your social media, hoping they’ll read them and sense that the lyrics are meant as a message for them. Instead of expressing your feelings face-to-face, posting these lyrics in a "hidden" way feels safer.

And if so, you yourself may wonder if anything they publicly post, say, or do is a secret message for you.

You may even go out of your way to somehow find a perfect song that depicts the relationship between you two and use that song as a indirect message to state your true feelings without having to outwardly verbalize them.

(The above statement is more true for those who have Pisces, 12th house, Neptune influence in their cart)

🌟 3rd house synastry creates ease with communication, especially if there's 4th house synastry as well, and if the planets involved are the Sun, Moon, or Venus.

🌟 For 12th house synastry to cause intense idealizations, thoughts, dreams, wishes or obsessiveness there has to be attraction involved, the more attracted you are to them the more you'll idealize them.

🌟 A Neptune/12th house person and a planet person can both experience intense desire, longing, or overthinking, but the way they process these feelings depends on their individual natal charts.

🌟 With 8th and 12th house synastry connections, you might never actually date the person, yet the emotions they evoke within you can feel as profound and intimate as if you had.

🌟 Neptune and 12th house synastry: "You are perfect for me; you feel like everything I could ever wish for in someone."

If you're avoidant, this feeling can be terrifying because it brings a sense of inadequacy, as if you could never live up to the idealized version of yourself they see. You'll long for them deeply, but the way they look at you may feel unsettling, foreign, or out of place. Even if they seem like your dream person, self-doubt can drive you to run. You might fear disappointing them or feel you’ll never measure up to the partner they deserve. You'll view them as some sort of prize from a distance and you'll search for them in other connections but you'll never allow yourself to choose them, not like they choose you.

If you're anxious, this feeling will strike a familiar chord, it'll resonate so deeply within and letting go will seem impossible. You'll feel this pull toward them, you'll feel as if they’re your muse, your catharsis, and you'll wish that they were your person. Even without words, you'll sense that they want you, and this silent connection will consume your thoughts. You’ll compare the way they make you feel to everyone else, and you'll search for that same intensity in other people's gazes. You’ll sit in your head, wondering if your wishes align with theirs, questioning if they feel the same. Over time, you’ll realize the emotions they stir in you are unmatched, which leads you to hold onto the connection longer than you should, you'll rather wish on the what could be's than accept what is.

🌟 Pisces or 12th house placements often turn to writing or art as a means of expressing their inner thoughts, feelings, and longings. The more they feel, the more their creativity flows.

🌟 If you have water placements or planets in water houses (4th, 8th, 12th), deep emotions are embedded within you. The more you avoid these feelings, the more likely physical symptoms such as anxiety or mental struggles will occur. It's your body’s way of processing the hidden emotions you’ve learned to suppress. These unaddressed feelings can manifest in subtle, physical ways, and it's a reflection of the emotional turmoil beneath the surface.

🌟 With 8th house synastry, the second and I mean very second there's a emotional block between you two the deep seated desire for them becomes less intense.

Ex: If you also share 12th house synastry with them, parts of their actions will feel like subtle hints that are meant for you, in essence you want to believe you are more important to them than others, and you feel like you are. But once something comes to light or if you were shown that what you thought to be wasn't the case, the realization creates emotional distance and the desire for them (in that moment) shrinks. It feels as if the importance that you thought your presence gave them suddenly means nothing, and from that feeling creates a instant "I'm never speaking to them again" mentality.

🌟 With the 12th house involved, their actions may reveal their actual character, and while you are able to clearly see these actions (in a objective sense), you might still feel deeply tied to the version of them you feel them to be exists. You’ll observe their behavior yet convince yourself that someone better lies beneath the surface.

🌟 With 8th and 12th house synastry, there’s a part of you that feels you’ll never compare to anyone else they encounter. Even if you two never dated, there’s a deep sense that the way they feel when they’re with you is unmatched and it's something you intuitively will feel. It's likely that there will be no set actions or verbal affirmations to confirm this knowing.

Book a synastry reading with me or purchase my karmic astrology ebook that is curated towards 8th and 12th house synastry: https://myunsaidthoughts.gumroad.com

❥Dominant un-evolved Libra/7th house placements prioritize romantic partners over platonic relationships. The amount of depth or care that they allow themselves to feel is curated for their partner, and no matter how much consideration or care you show them, the amount of depth they will allow in from you is limited.

❥For Aquarius Moons (or dominant Aquarians) the root of many long-term struggles lies in how they respond to discomfort—by default, they tend to avoid it, which only delays growth and resolution.

❥1st House Chiron (maybe Pluto depending on other factors in the chart) can create the native to have deep self worth issues around their self image. They could lack confidence and there's often times dilemmas on how they "should" act or "should" look based on how others treated them.

❥If the native's Sun has little to no aspects in their birth chart, the chance that their Father is either emotionally or physically absent is likely, especially if the Sun is in the 7th, 10th or 12th house.

❥Nessus (the asteroid) aspecting the Sun, Moon, Mercury, Mars, Venus or the Ascendant indicates the native has dealt with deep abuse with the people they are closest with in their life. This abuse has fundamentally shaped them to become the person they are today.

Sun

Abuse from the father or dominant parental figure

Ego wounds; struggles with self-confidence and identity

Difficulty asserting autonomy; fear of being alone or independent

Potential for codependent behavior rooted in early validation issues

Moon

Abuse from the mother or maternal figure

Emotional manipulation, neglect, or inconsistency

Victim mindset or emotional enmeshment is common (your mother may have shown those traits early on in your life)

May struggle with emotional regulation and safety

Mercury

Abuse from siblings or through verbal communication

Childhood pain transferred into sibling dynamics

Parental abuse may distort thought processes or communication patterns

Mental overstimulation or inner criticism may stem from early verbal harm

Mars

Physical abuse or exposure to violence

Aggression as a learned coping mechanism

Impulsive, reactive behavior tied to unresolved rage from upbringing

Prone to conflict or projecting anger when triggered emotionally

Venus

Abuse from romantic partners or through love and affection

Tendency to seek self-worth through others

Attracting unhealthy relationships due to unhealed abandonment wounds

Love becomes a battlefield for reenacting early trauma

Ascendant

Abuse tied to early childhood and identity formation

The trauma is deeply embedded in how one shows up in the world, the abuse feels foundational, like it shaped your core self

Can manifest as self-protection, masking, or people-pleasing

Deep-rooted need to protect yourself; hyper-awareness of how others perceive you

Can result in either shrinking away from attention or overcompensating through control

❥Air and Fire dominant natives become bored with romantic connections quite quickly when there's no mental stimulation or attraction. Fire Venus/Asc/Mars will stick it out for the most part if there's genuine physical attraction. However Air dominant natives especially Venus/Asc/Mars will likely leave a connection if there's not enough conversation or playfulness involved.

❥Neptune conjunct Descendant can indicate a tendency to be deceived by romantic partners. They may choose partners who withhold a part of themselves, or they have 'rose colored glasses' towards individuals who are not healthy minded. They may see the red flags but ultimately chooses to ignore or give them the benefit of the doubt and forgive very easily. Especially if Neptune makes harsh aspects to the Sun, Moon, Venus or Mars.

❥Mars + Uranus + Pluto in the 5th House can indicate a tendency to form a gambling addiction. It also can showcase an intense need for outside fun, stimulation or adrenaline.

❥A native with an 11th house in Scorpio may experience pain or hardship when forming friendships or when it comes to finding a sense of community—especially if the Moon, Chiron, Saturn, or Pluto is present. The friendships they attract often bring intense lessons around self-worth and self-love. Compared to others, they may find it more difficult to build and maintain friendships, and might also rely more heavily on their friends for emotional support or validation.

❥Scorpio/8th house Moon individuals can have a harsh and emotional distant relationship with their Mother. Either the mother was emotionally abusive, narcissistic, absent or cold (depending on the sign). As the native matures, their relationship with the mother may improve. However, in early childhood, the native likely experienced emotional absence or instability from her.

❥Aries/6th House placements prioritize the gym more than other placements. Routine and a consistent workout schedule mentally calms their mind. They feel their best when they are at the gym, or when they are doing physical self care, such as facials, yoga, pilates, cardio, practicing a fixed diet, and so fourth.

❥5th/10th/11th House Moon, Venus, Sun, Mercury, Libra/Pisces placements are naturally in the Universes favor when it comes to gaining fame online or being noted for their beauty. Their appearance is favored on camera and the chances of gaining popularity online is very likely. They also may have incredibly soft skin and are blessed with facial genetics.

❥12th House placements especially Chiron, Venus, and Lilith often attract unwarranted animosity or jealousy from others. These individuals frequently become targets of projection and are blamed for actions they haven’t committed. They either speak up and are punished for it, or stay silent and are misunderstood. Others often driven by insecurity—construct false narratives about who they are.

As a woman, other girls may misconstrue your character, often withholding trust or projecting unwarranted animosity—especially if they feel you threaten their relationship with a partner or romantic interest. Their insecurities cast you as the villain, leading to you being reprimanded for actions you never took. They might label your behavior as “fake” or inauthentic, causing you to question yourself. Even if you know deep down that these narratives are false, the consistency of these experiences can make you wonder if there’s any truth to their accusations. Constant gossip could occur where these girls talk behind your back and nothing is every stated to your face, if you were to ask where their animosity stems from they will say "Just because."

Insecure boys may treat you poorly as a reflection of their own inner wounds. They might desire you but resent the fact that they can’t have you, which leads them to act cold, dismissive, or rude. Some may react with anger or irritation to your natural behavior simply because you don’t reciprocate their interest. On the opposite end of the spectrum, others may idealize you—seeing you as an “angel” or someone who can do no wrong. If there are aspects of you that remain a mystery, or if little is known about you publicly, they may fill in the blanks with fantasies or projections. You could be deeply admired without even knowing it. Groups of boys may talk about you behind your back, viewing you as a prize or someone unattainably special, yet never expressing these feelings to your face.

❥12th house Stellium vs 5th house Stellium: Both can do the same action, say the same comment and do the same exact thing; however the 5th house native will receive grace and prolonged consideration for their action while the 12th house native will experience backlash, gossip, and repercussions.

❥Moon/Venus opposite Uranus natives oftentimes struggle with consist relationships or monogamy. They may be drawn to polyamorous relationships or place romantic connections at the bottom of their priority list (especially if they are an avoidant or struggle with emotional vulnerability/intimacy). They may desire a partner in one moment then become completely disinterested in the next. This has to do with the fact that their Mother was often erratic or irrational when it came to the natives needs. One moment the mother was emotionally/physically present, and in the next completely fixated on their own needs and desires. So now, consistency forms as red flags and can even create boredom for the native. They may always be on the go or prefer to change scenery. Stagnation creates uncomfortability especially if they have 9th house placements.

❥8th house/Pluto synastry — especially when you carry deep wounds around self-worth, love, value, and abandonment — can feel very similar to the peace people describe during near-death experiences.

When someone’s Pluto touches your personal planets or activates your 8th house, the feeling isn’t just healing — it’s otherworldly. There's suddenly no more abandonment wounds, no more aching past; the deeper your wound, the more powerful their presence will feel.

8th house/Pluto synastry mirrors this freeing frequency, and it's the one your soul knows intimately, the one your consciousness is most familiar with and that's why this person will feel like "home."

❥12th House Venus natives often hold onto the ‘what ifs’ of a connection because the lingering longing creates an illusion of love. This longing allows them to feel as if the person once chose them, and they cling to that imagined moment for comfort. Longing becomes familiar—safe—because, deep down, they know it’s someone they likely can’t have. In truth, these natives often fear real, reciprocal emotional intimacy. They would rather idealize a connection from afar than face the vulnerability of having one.

❥A Leo Moon/Venus combined with a Virgo Sun and Rising can create a complex relationship with praise and recognition.

The native may crave validation and admiration to feel emotionally secure, yet struggle to truly receive it. Deep down, they long to be seen — not just for what they do, but for who they are. Still, Virgo’s influence brings a strong inner critic and a constant push for perfection. As a result, even when recognition is given, they may feel undeserving, leading to imposter syndrome. The tension between their need for appreciation and their fear of falling short can make it hard to embrace success without self-doubt.

Book a synastry reading with me or purchase my karmic astrology ebook that is curated towards 8th and 12th house synastry: https://myunsaidthoughts.gumroad.com

I have a theory.

Not all 12th house overlays indicate a soul bond—but when they do, you feel it before you understand it. I understand why the 12th house is often tied to past life energy—but there’s a very specific feeling, an undertone, a knowing—when it’s truly a past life connection versus a illusion.

There’s one person whose Mars, Pluto, and Chiron all fall into my 12th house. But beyond that, we share these aspects:

My Venus and Vesta conjunct his IC

His Mercury and Vesta conjunct my IC

His Vertex conjuncts my South Node

My Moon and Venus fall in his 3rd house

My Chiron and Pluto are in his 4th

His Sun and Mercury fall in my 4th house

And out of everyone I’ve encountered, he feels the most familiar, the most past life worthy. That being said, there's one other connection that I compare this connection too. My Moon and Venus fall in his (Boy 2) 12th house. And although the feelings with both people are similar, the foundation they rest on feels completely different.

(We also share 8th house synastry but I can profoundly tell the difference between 8th and 12th house synastry)

12th House Boy: With him, everything exists in my mind. Every glance, action, non-action... it’s all imagined and heightened internally. The longing, the unsaid emotions, the ache of what never got to happen, it’s all unspoken, hidden, and private. Nothing has been openly expressed; nothing has ever been said aloud.

With him, there’s this silent knowing. It feels as if we speak through eye contact. There’s a constant stream of thoughts like: "Would we ever actually work out?" "Do I even want him, or just the feeling he brings me?" "Is this story post, tiktok repost, this song he posted on his social media—about me?" "Does he think of me the way I think of him?" "Why does it feel like I’ve already said goodbye to him before?" "I’ve never even dated him, yet it feels like I already have." "It feels like we’ve been intimate...as if there’s a hidden desire he locks away.”

He feels so close, yet feels unreachable. There’s always mystery—never clarity. I don’t know him in a solid, grounded way… I only wonder. I question how he feels about me, what he thinks of me and yet somehow, I know him deeply. I know his inner world, his pain, his wounds… but when it comes to his intentions with me, everything feels uncertain. There are no definitive “I know” moments—only constant “I wonder.” Nothing is ever revealed in full. Everything is implied, hidden, unfinished.

With him, it’s eye contact and desire, but never action. He evokes a feeling of "I feel like I have loved him before, and every time he walks away it mimics a heartache I long to experience." He reflects my yearning to fall in love. He’s the one who makes me want to let my walls down. So even though we’ve never had a real relationship, he represents love for me. He represents the idea and feeling that I have been in love and that’s what makes him feel so enticing and familiar.

Everything I desire about him is born from within me, from my own pain and longing. Because I feel as though I’ve been in love with him, even though he’s never openly chosen me, he becomes a stand-in for the experience of love itself. He soothes, temporarily, my ache to have loved—to have felt. If I am heartbroken, then I must have been in love, and since I am terrified of truly being in a relationship (even as I yearn for it), he allows me to feel like I’ve lived through the very thing I fear and crave the most. He softens my wounds just enough to let me imagine what it’s like to fall—but somewhere deep down, I know he won’t choose me the way I choose him.

Side note: Another theme I’ve noticed is that he seems to respond to my thoughts without me ever having to voice them. Once, when he was with my friend, I stayed quiet—too passive and shy to say anything. But when our eyes met, I screamed to him in my head, “Talk to me.” As if he heard me, he kept looking at me and then suddenly pulled my waist closer to him. He’s also said, word for word, things I once silently wished he would say to me out loud.

4th house Boy:

With him, there’s a familiar feeling that mirrors 12th house synastry—the sensation of “I’ve said goodbye to you before.” My body often reacts before my mind catches up. There have been moments where I instinctively knew how he’d respond to a situation, and he’s triggered insecurities in me that have no logical cause or foundation.

For example, I remember walking with him and passing a girl. In a split second, my eyes, body, and head responded as if I already knew he’d be drawn to her. It was like I was watching my boyfriend eye someone else? The insecurity hit fast and deep—as if we had something to lose? But in that experience, it was only our third time hanging out? There was no actual foundation between us, and yet, it felt like there was.

He feels easy. There’s no confusion, no spiral of questions. I don’t wonder—I just know. I can let go with him, let things flow without fear or tension. Hours feel like minutes. Our communication is layered, natural, as if we’ve met hundreds of times before. Another thing I noticed with this connection is that there's this weird underlying feeling of "I don't compare" when it comes to others? Weirdly enough, it's like I automatically added a layer of trust when it came to us. It felt almost as if it was somehow built between us even though there's been little to no foundational growth in the relationship. Obviously insecurities can still intertwine in their way with this relationship, but there was more of a mix when it came to him. Me immediately knowing he'd be drawn to that girl vs me feeling as if I have a tangible relationship with him, even though there's really nothing to show forth is what mainly contradicted me.

But then, here’s where the 12th house resonance creeps in.

Once I allowed him in, the longing hit. The low set in. I began to mourn something that had never even fully formed. It was so similar to my 12th house experiences: grieving a connection that logically shouldn’t hurt, because it was so brief. And yet it felt like something we’d built over months or even years.

Not being with him felt like losing someone I had already lost once before?

The similarities of both: They each reflect something forgotten but familiar. With both, there’s a sense of history that doesn’t make logical sense. There are no lengthy timelines, no concrete memories, and yet there’s this weird knowing, like I’ve already lived something with them. They trigger longing. They echo wounds I didn’t realize I had. They bring me face to face with my own hidden desires, my fears, my capacity to feel. They expose the line between fantasy and memory, between what has happened and what I feel has happened. And with both, I grieve in ways that don't fit the actual timeline. I grieve possibilities. I grieve what never got to grow. I grieve the goodbye before the hello was fully spoken.

But the difference is where that familiarity leads me.

With the 12th House Boy, the familiarity leaves me with more questions. I live in the ache. The longing becomes the relationship. He is a mirror of my inner world, and I fall into him the same way I fall into daydreams, it feels deep, but there's no grounding. Our relationship is like a ghost I carry, not something I can hold.

Every interaction is laced with doubt. There is always something missing somehow, and someway. Every time I take one step forward he'll take a step back; then when he takes a step forward towards me, I'll act out of insecurity and the cycle repeats. Our fears get the better of us and cause us to avoid our hidden desires for one another. This comes from the fear of being a burden, of feeling that our emotions are “too much” for a connection with no solid ground, no real foundation. The tension between us defies sense; no matter how hard we try, reason cannot contain it. We avoid it, hoping to soften the weight that rises the moment we share a room, yet the tension lingers, unrelenting and inevitable.

With the 4th House Boy, the familiarity grounds me. I relax into him. He doesn’t exist in the in-between; he’s here, now, and present. And while his presence awakens old grief and past-life choices, it doesn’t leave me spiraling in uncertainty. He doesn't stir up a fantasy of what could be, instead he reminds me that safety and depth can coexist.

12th house synastry reminds me of love I’m still chasing—love I imagine, love I crave from a distance. He fulfills a wound I have in this waking life, of being in love but never having to fully let go.

4th house synastry reminds me of love I’ve had—love I remember, love I miss, love I trust.

One makes me long to be chosen. The other makes me feel chosen just by existing near him.

12th house love is like walking through a fog, it's haunting and confusing. It makes me feel like I’m on the verge of fully letting go, but I never quite touch it and because I can never touch it, it feels safe enough to choose. 4th house love is like wearing your favorite childhood blanket. There's no need for approval from within, or outside of you. You already know that this is your blanket that you've had for years. You know within and that's all you truly need to confirm that this blanket is yours. Both carry such similar responses.

With the 12th house connection, you are cracked open quietly, without the other person ever needing to fully participate. They activate something deep within you, sometimes unknowingly—something spiritual and elusive. It's less about the person and more about what they awaken in your subconscious. The ache they leave behind teaches you more about your own depths than any conversation could.

With the 4th house, the healing is warm, embodied, and real. It shows up in the small moments—the ease of presence, the safety to be seen. There's a softness to the bond, a sense that home isn't a place but a feeling you recognize in someone else. You don’t ache in the same way; you’re held. It’s healing through belonging, rather than through longing.

And yet, both create that haunting familiarity. That timelessness. That internal shift that whispers: “I've known this person before.” If you have to constantly ask, “Is this a past life connection?”—if you have to dig for signs, for patterns, for proof—then it might not be.

Because when it is a soul recognition, there's no need to chase for clarity. There’s just simple knowing. It moves through you like a memory that doesn’t need to be remembered. It’s like an echo in your soul that simply says: “Yes.”

So if you ever find yourself wondering whether someone is part of your past life story—remember this: You won’t have to ask. You’ll just know.

P.S I have dealt with 12th house synastry multtipleee times; platonic and romantic alike and each one hasn't evoked a single past life question besides these two boy's I mentioned. I know in the 2nd Boy his Mars is in my 12H, however even if there wasn't an objective overlay he would still feel different. I have had others Sun's, Moon's Venus's etc in my 12H (and my planets in theirs) and there's been nothing on my end. So again using discernment is key.

I also share more past life indicators with both of these boys so if you fall into both of these scenarios that can also be plausible!

Book a synastry reading with me or purchase my karmic astrology ebook that is curated towards 8th and 12th house synastry: https://myunsaidthoughts.gumroad.com