Sep 11, 2016
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He showed me his toilet... and I
I was going on a first date with this guy I met at college. He asked me out and seemed pretty cool. However, as we talked more on the way to dinner, I realized he was a bit materialist, which is a turn-off for me. He was pretty nice, though, so I didn’t feel like I should say anything about it and tried to keep up a good conversation.
DATE: “Do you mind if we stop by my house?”
ME: (uncomfortable but not a big deal I guess?) “Umm.. okay...”
DATE: “Come in. I really want to show you something.”
ME: (Well, I know him from school. I guess it would be alright.) “OK”
DATE: (excitedly) “Follow me!”
I follow him down a hall to the bathroom.
DATE: “See that?” (He points at toilet seat, which is made of some kind of clear plastic infused with quarters) See? I have so much money, I can take a shit on it.
ME: But is your toilet paper made of rolled hundreds? Cuz the last dude I dated had so much money he wiped his ass with his.
HIM: (grumpy and quiet for the rest of the date)