#planefriends

I have not made an airplane friend in a while!  Fortunately I’m back with a vengeance and got a two-fer on my latest United flight from Chicago to Minneapolis.  Friends, meet Eli and Karen.

Our friendship started when Eli landed in the middle seat between Karen and I.  He sat down and was so excited because he was flying stand-by and this was the last flight out tonight.  Eli was trying to get back to his home-city of St. Paul, MN.  He said stand-by is awesome because you don’t have to pay but you may have to stay in an airport all day waiting to get on a flight.   He then proceeded to tell us that he gets to fly stand-by because his girlfriend is a flight attendant.  I shared that I have always wanted to have a friend that works in the airline industry but have not struck that gold mine yet.   Eli said,  “yeah it’s amazing, we have been dating for only a few months and we have been flying all over the world.”

Eli’s situation gets even more badass.  As I mentioned, he is currently dating a flight attendant, she also happens to be his landlord.  But wait, it gets better… this woman also makes enough money on her rental properties that she told him to not get a job AND don’t worry about rent because she just wanted to travel with him.  I almost got up and hugged Eli in that moment.  Instead, as I started a slow clap, I told this former stranger turned friend that I am so proud of him.  In the handful of months they have been together they have been all over the US, Mexico City, India, and are planning trips to Rio and Japan this year.  Not bad, Eli…not bad.  

Eli had only recently moved to Chicago before their relationship started.  He moved there to do more stand-up comedy.  He decided college was not for him but he loves the rush that stand-up brings and the “crazy” people he gets to meet doing it.  He is still trying to figure out what he wants to do long-term but in the meantime he is crushing life.  

Karen works for a large bank in Rhode Island.  She was born on Long Island (like me!) and grew up in Manhattan before her father moved the family to Rhode Island.   She attended Connecticut College in New London, CT, where she studied modern dance.  After college she moved back to New York and was a full-time concert dance performer for over five years.  It was at that time that Karen realized she wanted to be more confortable later in life and left the dance world to find a career with health benefits and a 401K.  

It was around that time that Karen was talking to a friend who worked at a bank.  He told her to send him her résumé.  She laughed at that because as a dancer she didn’t really have a résumé per se.   She concocted something that looked like one though and sent it to her friend.  Little did she know, this man was quite connected.  She soon had an interview which she nailed and here we a few years later with her flying to Minneapolis to try and expand her bank’s opportunities.   She hated the first year on her job but now loves what she does. Essentially she does organizational psychology with teams at the bank behind the scenes using two methodologies, Lead and Six Sigma.  Or, as she puts it, she is a master manipulator and creates buy in for culture and change in the company.  

Earlier this week on a United Airlines flight from Rochester, NY to Washington DC, I made a new airplane friend! His name is Anwar we hit it off pretty quickly as our flight was held up because they could not get the front door of the plane to close. He is 6’8” and I am 6’3” so, needless to say, there was a lot of man in those two seats! Our talk started, like most small talk does, about the weather and gas prices. The gas was a full dollar cheaper where he was headed in Texas than it was in Rochester. Got to love New York taxes!

Anwar told me his father named him after Egypt’s third President and Nobel Peace Prize winner, Anwar Sadat. Originally from the Bronx, NY, he went to college in Philadelphia and played Division I basketball. One of my favorite stories he hold me was about when he was being recruited.

My man lived in a tough spot in the Bronx. There were a lot of drug dealers and other “self-employed” people in his building. Once they found out how good Anwar was at basketball though they all left him alone and did not bother him. They knew he was going to have exciting opportunities in the future.   When he started being recruited, the coaches would come to his home to meet him and his family.   Brining middle-aged white men into his building looked suspicious to the “entrepreneurs” who lived there. Anwar did not want it to look like he was bringing narcs in, so he had speak really loudly and say things like, “So if I come and play ball for you, I could start AND I would get a scholarship?” That was very eye opening to me. Talk about a problem I would never have to even think about living in white-bread suburbia…and being a barely mediocre basketball player.

Anwar wound up being red-shirted his first season and by his Junior year was starting as a power forward. The stories he shared about being a college athlete were colorful but shall not be repeated. Let’s just say he had a very different experience than I did as a Resident Assistant.

At the end of his senior year he had one more year left of playing eligibility but was also finishing up his biology degree. Anwar decided, kind of on a whim, to take the MCAT. When his score came back way better than he expected he talked to his mom and asked her if he should stay and play one more year or if he should apply to medical school. She asked are you going to make it into the NBA? When he said, “probably not,” she said something to the effect of, “then I think you have your answer.”

Everyone, this is Joe. We became  airplane friends on a recent United Airlines flight from Syracuse to Chicago. I noticed Joe’s deep southern accent and asked him where he was from. When he told me Smithfield, NC I told him about how I went to school in Wilmington and the conversation flowed from there!

Joe is a sweetheart of a man who says “Yes Sir” and “Oh that’s nice” after just about everything you say. He used to be a TV repairman who worked on old tube TVs. The flat screen age put an end to that career so he became a truck driver. He knows the US interstate system really well but he told me that despite getting to see a lot of the country, he didn’t get to experience a lot of the culture because his truck was too big to get off the road and explore (future blog post about my thoughts on that coming soon).

Joe is now a school bus driver, but not the kind you’re thinking. 2-3 times a week Joe gets in an empty school bus in Tulsa, OK and drives 1100 miles to drop it off in upstate New York. He then flys back to Tulsa and does it again. Joe hasn’t been to his home in Smithfield since Christmas.  Joe loves fishing, going on short hikes, eating haddock, Manchu Wok in the Chicago O’Hare airport, and the sweet Indian couple who owns the motel he stays at in Rome, NY before he flies back to Tulsa.

He and I both have older siblings and have very similar relationships with them – ones founded in love and support even though we don’t talk that much. There is no doubt that we have each other’s back, we just live independent lives. Joe, despite all of the flying he does, does not belong to any frequent flyer programs. I told him he needed to sign up for one because, as a fellow independent contractor, that’s one of the few ways we get “benefits” in our job and that he needed to treat himself!

Everyone, meet Bonnie. I had the opportunity to sit next to this warm-hearted rural Minnesotan on a recent United Airlines flight from DC to the Twin Cities. She had the best accent & told me all about her husband, Earl Dean. They were flying back from Memphis after celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary!

I asked Bonnie if she and Earl Dean traveled a lot.  She said this was only her second time in her life outside of Minnesota.  I asked her if this trip has sparked her inner travel bug and she replied, “Oh no, that was quite enough for me, I’ll stick to Minnesota.”

Bonnie told me they met at a polka and he asked her to dance. He was apparently a terrible dancer but she fell for him anyway. The whole ride she would lean over and tell him across the aisle about what kind of drink he should order (tomato juice) & that they were serving scones. 

Hello!  My name is James Robilotta and I am passionate about other’s stories.  On this Tumblr I will be sharing the stories of people who I sit next to on airplanes that are courageous enough to open up to me.  I will always try to get a picture with my new airplane friends, but not everyone is ready for that jelly so it may not always happen.  

You’re perhaps wondering who this bearded wonder is that goes around making his plane neighbors talk with him for the duration of a flight.  Well, I am the author of the book Leading Imperfectly, an Authentic Leadership speaker, a Personal Coach, and a freestyle-rapping improv comedian.  If you want to learn more check out my website: JamesTRobo.com