Haunting Heroes Anniversary Exchange treat for Pixial.
original prompt:Â Lancer tries to take a day off in Gotham. Bats are confused why this middle-aged man from Illinois is so chill about everything.
a.k.a., "Mr. Lancer Takes Gotham".
In my heart, Riddler was trying to bait a death-trap for Batman with innocent tourists and Lancer literally did not even notice that the dude was attempting to do a kidnapping on him. Like in no way whatsoever did it register because it was so quaint compared to the screaming undead that are usually kidnapping him. Riddler has manners!
So yeah Lancer just talked Riddler's ear off about an endless list of different fields/subjects/trivia, gave all the other hostage tourists a very thorough lecture/helpful demonstration on the most effective ways to keep a ridiculously resourceful array of teenagers with varying skill sets/superpowers/ethical alignments trapped in detention, and also solved all the intended-for-Batman riddles on the first try and with clear appreciation for their construction. Then he said he had to catch his bus back to Illinois and just walked straight out of both the Bat-grade death-trap and the Riddler's life with all the hostages hiding behind him like said Bat-grade death-trap was a totally irrelevant obstacle that did not even register as an inconvenience to him and made an offhand comment about the spike trap needing oiled; it's very well-placed but he heard it coming a mile away. Riddler isn't sure if he hallucinated this whole afternoon or just actually got friend-zoned by a high school vice principal but either way he is devastated about it and also has learned some things about himself.
There's two crossword-puzzle magazines and an official strategy guide for Doomed with handwritten corrections in the margins in that fanny pack for the bus ride home and Edward Nygma will never love like this again.
