Post Lazarus Jason! starts a skincare vlog called “Pit Perfect” and it is the most cursed content on the Batcave intranet.
It starts as a joke.
It stays a joke.
But it gains a cult following.
Jason: “Welcome back to Pit Perfect, today we’re making a DIY Lazarus exfoliating mask that may or may not cause hallucinations. But your pores? Flawless.”
Tim is the cameraman. Against his will.
He holds up cue cards that say things like:
“Please stop drinking the serum.”
“This is not FDA approved.”
“You are not a doctor.”
“Help me.” (he holds this one a lot.)
Episode titles:
“Glow Up or Blow Up?”
“Detoxing with Demonic Energy”
“Is That a Rash or Just Resurrection?”
“Skincare for the Formerly Deceased”
“Holy Water but Make It Moisturizing”
Jason (holding a glowing green serum):
“I found this in the basement next to the Bat-dinosaur. If you mix it with rose water and just a touch of existential rage, it clears your skin AND your moral compass.”
Tim (behind camera): “Why does it smell like despair?”
Jason: “That’s the active ingredient.”
Special Guest Episode:
Damian walks on screen. Silently stares. Pours glitter into the serum. Walks away.
Jason names it “Ras Al Sparkle.”
Obviously steph finds out and cameos
“Hi, today I’ll be showing you how to do a resurrection-ready cat eye using only Batmobile grease and sheer force of will.”
Bruce finds out.
He bans Jason from the Batcomputer.
Jason uploads a tutorial titled: “Contouring Like a Disappointment to Your Father.”
Cass watches every episode.
No one knows why.
She nods silently. Leaves him fancy moisturizers like offerings.
